This land is your land; this land is my land; from California to the New York Island; this land is riddled with STDs.

The site Rent Application gathered some of the most important data anyone would want to know before purchasing or renting a home in any given area in the U.S. That is, the collective of landlords that make up Rent Application took the CDC’s 2013 findings on the prevalence of syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia across the country and tossed them into this handy interactive map. The map doesn’t account for herpes infections. Bummer.

If the area has the clear urine yellow color, then the STD rate is low. If the area is featured with that raging outbreak blood in the urine red color, then the outbreak rate is high.

Zoom in and click around on this map, or scroll down for the top 10 diseased locations in America and some of our favorite hotspots.

This map about STD statistics was created and produced by RentApplication.com.

At first glance, this map might make you want to avoid the Southwest, but keep in mind that the Southwest has huge counties and is sparsely populated. You’re totally ignoring all the tiny, heavily populated but nonetheless filthy counties in the South and Northeast! But what you might not have seen at all was Alaska. Dirty, dirty Alaska.

Anchorage, AK: 1038.8 cases per 100k. It gets lonely. And cold. Did we mention lonely and cold? (via RentApplication.com)


The Bronx was the most-infected of NYC’s five boros with 1409 cases per 100k, but Manhattan and Brooklyn were pretty skeezy, too. (via RentApplication.com)


D.C. is pretty gross, unsurprisingly, with 1432 out of every 100k people being diseased in their genitals as well as their soul. (via RentApplication.com)


For a city literally meaning “Body of Christ,” Corpus Christi, TX was not treating itself like a temple, with 976 infections (mostly Chlamydia) per 100k residents. (via RentApplication.com)


Capital cities continue their trend of being the disease capitals of their states, with 1081 people per 100k residents, or about 1% of Tallahassans having the clap. (viaRentApplication.com)


The West Coast was surprisingly lacking in the severe hotspots found in the South and East, with Bakersfield being (as it often is) the worst part of California I could find. (viaRentApplication.com)


Finally, Sweet Home Chicago came in at a mere 876 infections per 100k people…although that’s still 34,589 total clap infections, 10,551 cases of gonorrhea, and 694 syphilitics running around my new hometown of the Windy City. Yay. (via RentApplication.com)

It will probably surprise no one that the highest concentration of STD infections occurs near major military bases. Here are the top ten diseased locations ranked by how many infections people incurred out of every 100,000 people.

std map

Congratulations, Montgomery, Alabama! Not only are you the birthplace of country singer Hank Williams, Sr., but you are also apparently one giant running genital sore.

I’m not really one to talk, though. I grew up in Montgomery, until I was 12, the most diseased city in the country. You’d figure that more people would be buying condoms given that there’s a Dollar General Store every 10 feet… they sell condoms,right? Alas.



Fun Interactive Map Shows Which States Have The Highest STD Rates


Please wait...

And Now... A Few Links From Our Sponsors