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How To Get Good Fucking Internet

01 - So you want to get motherfucking good internet

So you want to get motherfucking good internet

Otherwise, why would you be reading this… There might be many reasons on why your internet sucks… Let’s go over them, and then how to fix this shit!
02 - 1-Why your internet is shit with cable Steam speed speedtestnet test and a google conversion

1-Why your internet is shit with cable (Steam speed, speedtest.net test and a google conversion)

Providers are here to sell. The numbers they give you aren’t in the unit you use. When you look at a file size, it’s expressed in MegaBYTES, or MB for short, but the speeds they advertise are in MegaBITS, or Mb. This isn’t actually that big of a problem because every single provider does this, so you’re not being stolen anywhere, it’s just marketing, but you should be aware of it.
03 - 2-Why your WiFi is shit Router

2-Why your WiFi is shit: Router

This picture right here is the router my provider gave me. I’m paying for 120Mbps but on WiFi I was reaching with luck 40Mbps with a 300Mbps capable wireless external card (cheers to TP Link) standing right next to the router. This is actually pretty easy to explain. Their routers are shit. Absolute dog shit. This is because inside the router there’s hardware, and the hardware inside is in a certain “wireless-networking standard”. Big words, fuck them. Point is, most of the provider routers come with pretty much the worst technology for WiFi. This means that no matter how much you’re paying for, you’re not getting above a certain speed.
04 - 2-Why your WiFi is shit The Device

2-Why your WiFi is shit: The Device

This is what I got for my computer when I was using WiFi. Great little external wireless card from TP Link (other brands are available). To test how good a WiFi is, you need to make sure the device you’re using can withstand speeds above the WiFi one. On this case, I was paying for 120Mbps and I had a 300Mbps wireless card. Slight overkill, but fuck it. You can’t go around saying your WiFi is shit using a phone to test it or an old cheap laptop. Because they also have speed limits. iPhones clock out at 30Mbps or something like that (I think this is only until the 5th generation, can’t remember it well). So make sure you’re removing every problem out of the equation except for the router and the router alone, because you don’t want to spend a bunch of money or a few hours just to fix a problem that isn’t there.

05 - HOW TO FIX IT

HOW TO FIX IT

There are two ways to fix this problem, and each of them can be done in different ways. This depends on what you actually need. If you have a laptop that absolutely requires good internet wherever in the house you are, you might want to look into a router. But if you have just a workstation that needs good internet the best solution might just be running a cable.

06 - HOW TO FIX IT - Router

HOW TO FIX IT – Router

Pictured above is a router. Big, edgy, angled, looks like an octopus. There’s no need to get one this expensive. Unfortunately, I can’t really help you pick a router. Some people want speed, others need that range, and some might just want to have 25874 devices on the wireless network without shutting it down. I’d recommend browsing them yourself and reading some reviews to find the best one for you.  After you’ve chosen a router, though, there’s two things you can do: You can either connect it into the provider router, and have it broadcast the same signal, or depending on how nice the provider is, you might be able to just call them and say that you want to replace their router with one you bought. You’ve most likely already payed for their piece of crap, so they shouldn’t care too much.

07 - HOW TO FIX IT- Cable

HOW TO FIX IT- Cable

If all you worry about is 1 or 2 computers getting top notch internet, get a cable. There’s 3 ways of doing this. Unfortunately, the third way, which happens to be the best is a bit long to explain, and unless I steal the pictures from another tutorial online, you’re going to have to wait until I do it again to get some good pics.

08 - HOW TO FIX IT- Cable Method 1

HOW TO FIX IT- Cable: Method 1

Which way you do this depends on your distance to the router. If you’re close to it, get a pre-made UTP cable like the one pictured. Stick one end on the router, stick another on the computer, bam, done. PS: If you’re close to the router and don’t already have a cable let me know because I want to find you and punch you in the throat.

09 - HOW TO FIX IT- Cable Method 2

HOW TO FIX IT- Cable: Method 2

Picture this house. Imagine you have the router on living room and Bedroom2 is your office. You’re not gonna escape the shit internet nightmare by buying a 1.5 meter cable… But do not worry, there are 2 solutions for this. First one is running a cable outside the wall, and second one is inside the wall. For running it outside, everything depends on how you want it to look. Your house might already have cables running through the ceiling, so you might want to run it alongside it, or just leave it on the floor like a fucktard. This method might involve drilling the wall in some cases because of doors so I find running it inside the wall to be much more elegant. Unfortunately my dudes, as I have said I have no good pictures of me running it inside the wall because I didn’t take any the last time I did this. If you really need to know how to do it then please let me know! I’ll find a way to do it.

10 - HOW TO FIX IT- Cable Sticking RJ45 Plugs

HOW TO FIX IT- Cable: Sticking RJ45 Plugs

But either way, whether you run it through the wall or outside the wall, you will end up with a cable that looks like this on the ends after you strip it. If you have a history of mental illness, you might think that sticking this inside the computer will do the trick. Well, it won’t… You need to stick an RJ45 plug on each side. What’s that complex thing you wonder?
11 - HOW TO FIX IT- Cable Sticking RJ45 Plugs

HOW TO FIX IT- Cable: Sticking RJ45 Plugs

It’s this thing. What you actually shove into the device(s), it’s not complex at all, I lied. You need not to worry though, because as tough as it looks to connect, it’s actually pretty easy. All you need to do is buy from Amazon or a local hardware store a few RJ45 Plugs and an RJ45 crimping tool (you can get a cheap crimper if this is the only thing you’ll be doing with it, no need to go big, just go home). If you’re using 2 RJ45 plugs, I’d recommend buying at least 4, but the only way to buy is probably in bulk. Don’t worry, they’re cheap as fuck.
12 - HOW TO FIX IT- Cable Sticking RJ45 Plugs

HOW TO FIX IT- Cable: Sticking RJ45 Plugs

To get the plugs in, you can’t shove the wires at random, there’s a specific pattern. So what you want to do is strip the cable so it looks exactly like #10 (the transparent thing at the bottom might not be there, it’s in fact useless at this point. If it is there, cut it). After that, you untwist the pairs and arrange them like the picture above. Be patient when doing this as the wires will move around. Straighten the wires as much as you can, cut them a little bit so they’re all the same length and stick them in the plug. BUT, look at the picture. It says tab facing away. The tab is the thing that goes click when you stick a plug anywhere and also the thing you press to remove the plug. Make sure it’s on the other side chilling with Adele. After the wires are in, plug the plug into the RJ45 crimping tool until the very end and close the crimper until the very end. Don’t worry if you’ve somehow ruined something or need to do it again. You should have about 98 spare plugs at this point. But when you get it right, do it on the other side. After that, plug one side onto the router and the other onto the computer.
13 - YOU DID IT

YOU DID IT

You did it my wonderful bastard! You now have working internet! Go get yourself drunk in celebration! Or you know… Test the internet to see if it actually works, that might be a good idea…

 

I Am Bored

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