There will never be, nor has there ever been, a point in time where I lose something up my asshole and think to myself “Hm, well let’s try shoving something new up there and see what happens then!” The moment Redditor Brsh0824 lost that first butt plug up her poop chute and then decided to chuck another one up there was the moment I knew she was fucked – like dude, what are the chances that this story ends well for you? 10%? 20%? 30% if we’re lying and trying to be nice? Luckily for her she wound up not needing surgery, but jeez did she come close:

For Valentine’s Day, my boyfriend wanted to go to an adult store and buy some things to enhance our sex life. I, being the adventurous girlfriend that I am, was totally down for it.

Among many other items, we purchased two different butt plugs, one was a ball and one was a Christmas tree shaped plug. Both of these are not supposed to be able to be sucked up into your butt.


So, we used the Christmas tree shaped one first. He put it in and went back to having sex and I could feel him hitting the butt plug when he would thrust and it felt great, so I was like heck yea!

Then, I didn’t feel the butt plug being hit anymore. I told my boyfriend it fell out and we stopped and searched the floor, under the bed, even out into the hallway and bathroom, thinking maybe he kicked it when it fell out. We didn’t find it.

We chalked it up to the room being dark and figured we would find it later.

So, he grabs the ball shaped butt plug. He attempts to put it in. The ball has a flat, circle shaped stopper that is supposed to prevent it front sliding all the way in.

I lube up the butt plug and tell my boyfriend to shove it in! Don’t be shy! So he does and got way too excited. He starts screaming. I had no idea what was going on. I was screaming at him to tell me why he was screaming. He tells me the butt plug went all the way inside me.

I start crying.

He’s running around saying things like why? Oh God why? And he’s apologizing.

I’m yelling at him and asking him why he did this (like he purposely did it, but I was freaking out). I am squatting on the bathroom floor trying to push this thing out of me. I have two fingers in my butt and

I’m desperately trying to get a grip on it. I’m crying still. The boyfriend is asking me repeatedly if I got it out, I’m yelling at him to shut up.

Total chaos.

I pushed like I was giving birth and I finally got a grip on the ball part and pull it out.

It was foul.

I take a steaming hot shower. I am SO relieved. Beyond relieved.

My boyfriend now knows that sexy time is done. So he starts cleaning up our bedroom. I asked him to find the other butt plug, the big one.

He comes into the bathroom and, very timidly, tells me he has torn the room apart, even taken the mattress off the bed frame and cannot find the butt plug.

I knew what he was suggesting. I squatted, did an internal check, nothing.

He told me to get dressed and took me to the ER.

So, we tell everyone at the ER what’s going on. One nurse says to me…

My husband begs me all the time to do that and I tell him absolutely not! This is why!

So they have me change into a gown and then the ER doc comes in.

She says… I heard the story, are you sure you searched everywhere?

We told her yes and then I told her my butt keeps clenching itself and I feel like I have to poop. She told me to try but nothing came out.

They did an x-ray and it didn’t show the butt plug. The doc also did an internal exam and couldn’t feel it. She said she believed it was inside of me because my butt kept clenching itself. She told me that some companies design the butt plug to show up on X-rays for this reason, but others don’t and plastics and rubber and silicone may not show.

She told my boyfriend that she hopes we had fun and are happy because I’m going to have to go into surgery. She said they were going to admit me and get me into the operating room stat.

Dude, I was like dry heaving. I was beyond freaking out.

I all of a sudden felt like I had to poop again. The doc told me to try but not strain.

I sat on the toilet and rocked back and forth and prayed like I’ve never prayed before.

I pooped.

The nurse had given me a plastic hat shaped tray to put in the toilet in case I pooped out the butt plug, but I didn’t put it in the toilet. So, after I pooped, I looked in the toilet and it just looked like a huge turd.

So I was bummed and figured it was just poop.

As I’m reaching down to pull my pants up, the toilet starts to flush on its own, before I can really inspect the poop. I had to make a split second decision. Find out for sure if the butt plug was in there or let the docs go in me and find out.

I reached my bare hand into that toilet faster than I’ve ever been capable of moving before. Sure enough, I felt the rubbery butt plug. It was completely covered in poop.

It was the most disgusting thing ever. So now I’m carrying this giant poop covered butt plug in one hand and trying to pull up my jeans with the other and my hospital gown is falling off. I drop the butt plug into the sink, wash my hands like 5 times, get my pants on.

I run out to the ER desk and announce that I’ve pooped it out. They give me gloves. I go back in and attempt to clean it off. I washed the skin off my hands.

I went back to my ER exam room and got dressed. My boyfriend was like yes! We’re leaving! I was like… I want Chinese food, now.

The doc came in and asked if I pooped and I said yep, the but plug is right there. She removes the paper towels and examines it. She was shocked by the size.

The nurse came in and I was like… I’m not trying to show off, but it’s over there. She was like… By all means, show it off, I want to see.

My poop covered butt plug was on display and the whole ER staff was rushing to see it.

I felt like a superhero.

The doc was like… You literally just saved yourself from going through surgery.

I was like… That’s how I roll.

We left the ER, got Chinese, and I gave my boyfriend head to make up for the interruption earlier.

Happy Valentines Day.

And for the morbidly curious, she even took a photo of her fucked up butt plug after all was said and done…but it’s definitely gross. If that doesn’t bother you and your sense of morbid curiosity is still overwhelming, click HERE to see it.

[Via Reddit]

Girl Tries Butt Stuff For The First Time And How She Ended Up In The ER Will Make You Scratch Your Head

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