This wasn’t just some dopey hole that two dudes shoveled out on a Sunday in the same time it took them to drink two six-packs. This zig-zagging tunnel spanned nearly nine football fields, and was equipped with a rail system, ventilation, lights and a large elevator. The elevator, which was located in the closet of a Tijuana house, was large enough to accommodate up to 10 people.
They had sooooo much booger sugar that they needed an elevator and a rail system. Someone probably had to say, “Hey boss, the guys and I are really tired of carrying all these drugs down the tunnel, we’re thinking of forming a union if you don’t making transporting all these thousands of pounds of yayo easier on our backs. Maybe get an elevator and some sort of railroad to haul all these bricks?”
On Wednesday, the U.S. Attorney’s Office said two tons of cocaine and seven tons of marijuana, worth nearly $22 million, were seized. I’m sure one mighty drug cartel was probably really peeved and said, “Aw fiddlesticks! But I guess that’s the cost of doing business.” Then calmly went about his day and totally didn’t hang someone from a flying helicopter or give 20 associates Colombian neckties.
“On the surface, few would ever suspect that traffickers were moving multiton quantities of cocaine and marijuana worth tens of millions of dollars in such an unassuming way, through this rabbit hole in the ground, in full view of the world around it,” U.S. Attorney Laura Duffy said in a release.
On Friday, the US attorney’s office said that six people were arrested in San Diego in connection with the tunnel, the 13th sophisticated secret passage found along California’s border with Mexico since 2006.
*Starts looking for tunnels*