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Here’s Every Single Ordinance A B-52 Stratofortress Can Hold, And Oh, Yea, That’s Some Fiery Death From Above

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BARKSDALE AIR FORCE BASE, La. (AFPN) -- Munitions on display show the full capabilities of the B-52 Stratofortress. (U.S. Air Force photo by Tech. Sgt. Robert J. Horstman)
BARKSDALE AIR FORCE BASE, La. (AFPN) — Munitions on display show the full capabilities of the B-52 Stratofortress. (U.S. Air Force photo by Tech. Sgt. Robert J. Horstman)

 

The B-52 Stratofortress may not be American’s sexiest plane, but it is a fucking workhorse. It’s like, if the B-2 bomber is Stephen Strasburg, throwing gas, the B-52 is Livan Hernandez, just quietly doing its job for decades. Plus, it’s been around just as long as Livo. Longer, even.

It’s trusty, reliable, and it can load the fuck up on bombs. Here, in a video from the Smithsonian, you can see every single thing it can carry on just one mission. Missiles. Mines. Laser-guided bombs. Eight nukes. Eight nukes.

Maybe my earlier comparison wasn’t exactly accurate. Because eight nukes is some gas.

 

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