HERE’S UNDENIABLE PROOF THAT HIPSTERS RUIN EVERYTHING
Hipsters are a group of people society loves to hate. But it is for good reason, I’ll admit. There is absolutely nothing about the hipster lifestyle that seems to make sense, it’s merely a subculture built on redundancies. These pale, plaid-swathed people spend wads of cash on clothes that look cheap, they buy disgusting, cheap beer that tastes like sewer water yet they splurge on expensive produce because it’s “organic” — or so it says.
On top of all this, businesses have amassed wealth and power by catering to these ridiculous people. Of course, I speak of Whole Foods and Urban Outfitters, which I’m sure is where the majority of the items below come from.
Though I’m sure you don’t need it, here is further photographic evidence that proves hipsters ruin absolutely everything.
Because if gluten intolerance wasn’t enough of a farce, now gluten can’t even touch the skin. Well, for hipsters, anyway.
Because by re-branding a cheap beer primarily drunk in trailer parks, dudes in skinny jeans will suddenly drool for it.
Tree Stumps As Expensive Decor
The price reflects that it was chopped by a lumber-sexual.
Because by tossing some sprigs of dated asparagus into water, you can sell the thing for six bucks.
Veganic Sprouted Brown Rice Cacao Crisps
Because “Cocoa Krispies” are so passe.
Shovels As Plates
Because plates are for conformists.
Beer Without Tabs
This beer cannot be opened with the traditional tab. Instead, it is opened using a device that opens beer with dangerous sharp edges. “Opener included!”
Typewriters As Laptops
No longer a precious part of history, hipsters have made typewriters merely ironic.
Because hipsters haven taken the kale trend (as they have all trends) too far.
See what I mean?
Evidently, guacamole is a trend among hipsters as well.
“Everything that touches these lips must be organic. Everything.”
Because you were wrong to believe filtered water is best.
Water + paper = no bueno. REDUNDANT!
They’ve even managed to ruin the receptacles we piss in.
There were so many horrible pieces to choose from, but this guy’s so hipster I couldn’t pass it up.
This must be in Portland.