Hey, Good News! Here’s A Company Where You Can Hire People To Kidnap & Torture You for A Fun Time!
Would you pay $1,500 to be abducted in broad daylight and tortured? Welcome to the bizarre world of ‘extreme kidnapping’
Adrenaline junkies are being warned that the upsurge in popularity of ‘Extreme Kidnapping’ could lead to dangerous confusion for the police and public.
Charging $500 for a four-hour ‘econo-kidnap’, the Detroit-based business has hit the news in recent weeks after the apparent broad daylight abduction of a New York couple turned out to be all a masochistic game.
Simulating a dramatic kidnapping experience complete with electric shocks and water-boarding, people pay anywhere up to $1,500 to be held overnight, with the firm even offering customized plans that even include the possibility of all-girl abductors.
Or maybe you just want help losing weight…..
From their EXTREME KIDNAPPING website:
“Just when you thought you heard it all from us, we continue to innovate and are now helping clients….lose weight. Yes, you can now get kidnapped and forced to lose weight!
Diets are so played out, they hinge on your own personal willpower, and fickle momentary desires to indulge or abstain, but now, with our new hard core weight loss program, we take the choice out of your hands! You’ve been kidnapped, so you eat when we feed you.
Forget late night snacking, hard to eat when your chained to a cot. Worried about exercise? No problem. We’ve got certified expert trainers on staff to whip your fluffy ass into shape. Kidnap-style. We remove all barriers to weight loss. Just let us take you away, and make you lose weight, literally!”