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Japan Is Totally F**ked Because Nobody Is F**king — Japan’s On Course To Go Extinct Because Nobody Has Sex

Japan Is Totally F**ked Because Nobody Is F**king — Japan’s On Course To Go Extinct Because Nobody Has Sex

 

Mitomi holds a cigarette after a Coming of Age Day celebration ceremony at an amusement park in Tokyo

Alarming new research on Japan’s ‘Sex Crisis’ which has been looming over the country for 25 years seems to indicate that Japan will cease to exist as a nation unless its citizens start humping like rabbits. According to recent data collected by the Japan Family Planning Association less than 50% of people between the ages of 18-to-49 had sex in the past month, a 10% increase in just two years.

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Men in Japan are working, on average, around 80 hours each week and this leaves little to no time for hiznitting the skizzins, and Metro UK reports that there are estimated to be less than 16 million children alive in Japan today.

When you factor in the aging population of Japan and the dwindling sex life of Japanese citizen, all of this data has led researchers to deduce that the country of Japan will cease to exist in roughly 1,750 years from now, and when the calendar hits August 16, 3766 there will be only ONE LIVING PERSON left in Japan.

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If Japan needs help repopulating the country we could help them replenish the stocks. In fact, if you’re reading this at the moment I’d suspect that you’re one of the readers willing to help the country of Japan rebuild, aren’t you?

 

2 replies on “Japan Is Totally F**ked Because Nobody Is F**king — Japan’s On Course To Go Extinct Because Nobody Has Sex”

Actually I was thinking we should adopt a similar policy over here. If this election shows anything, it is that we have become clearly unworthy of occupying the space we do.

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