Joker Arrested For ‘Flashing’ His Penis – But It Turns Out To Be A Sausage Roll

Joker Arrested For ‘Flashing’ His Penis – But It Turns Out To Be A Sausage Roll

A man was arrested for flashing his sausage, but it turns out he was actually waving a Gregg’s sausage roll at a passer-by.

Flasher Daniel Proctor made out as though he was flashing his real sausage at a woman one morning outside McDonald’s, but that was not the case, and he was actually holding a presumably cold sausage roll in place of his private parts.

The victim immediately reported the man to the police and Proctor was traced to the toilets of the McDonald’s, according to Chronicle Live.

He was arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure but it was found he was holding the Gregg’s pastry in his groin area to imitate his member.

The smile was reportedly wiped off his face when Police instead charged him with a public order offence on the grounds of making the pastry look like male genitalia, and as such conducted disorderly behaviour.

Proctor did not turn up to court in Newcastle, and the case was proved in his absence.

The prosecutor James Palmer said the woman had been walking to work on November 4 when she saw Proctor standing near some bins outside the aforementioned McDonald’s.


The victim’s statement read:

I was about 100 yards away from the male and I had a clear, unobstructed view. The street was very quiet at that time of day.

I looked across and noticed his penis was sticking out the top of his trousers. He was waving it about. On seeing me, he stared at me for five to 10 seconds.

The victim did think about taking Proctor’s picture, but instead crossed the road to get away from the ‘flasher’.

He continued to stare, however, and the victim understandably felt uncomfortable, so contacted the police.

Mr Palmer said:

The officer cautioned and arrested him on suspicion of exposure and the defendant replied saying ‘It was a Greggs sausage roll’.

It was clearly not his penis. It was a sausage roll but he made it look like it was his penis, which was disorderly.

The woman has since changed her route to work and said she has been left feeling ‘alarmed and afraid’.

Proctor’s solicitor did tell the court that the defendant suffered from mental health issues, though she couldn’t say why he didn’t turn up to his court appearance.

He has been given a six-month conditional discharge after being found guilty of behaving in a disorderly manner.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

More Boobs - Less Politics ​​

And Now... A Few Links From Our Sponsors