How To Know If Your Girlfriend/Date Is High-Maintenance Or Low-Maintenance
Think all women are crazy and complicated? Then it’s only because you’ve wasted your time and money bedding the wrong ones.
The object of this article is to quickly simplify women, so that you will never again stand naked in front of the bathroom mirror wondering why-the-fuck you always end up with the World’s Craziest Bitch:
How to Know if She is High-Maintenance or Low-Maintenance (aka: how to know if she’s CRAZY)
- If you go to a restaurant and she can’t decide what to order, and then all she does is complain about the food after it arrives, she is High-Maintenance.If she knows what she wants to order practically five minutes after she’s sat down, she is Low-Maintenance.
- If you never have to ask her for a blow job a year+ after you’ve been dating her, she is Low-Maintenance.If you’ve been dating her a month and you’re already asking her for blow jobs, she is High-Maintenance.
- If you go on a weekend fishing trip with your mates, and she asks you to text her once when you’ve arrived, she is Low-Maintenance.If she blows-up your mobile with texts and phone calls your entire fishing trip, she is High-Maintenance.
- If you’re shopping with her when you unexpectedly run into your ex, so you stop for a respectful chat and she stands there hovering, giving you the evil-eye, and then makes snarky sarcastic comments after your ex walks away, she is High-Maintenance.If she smiles at your ex and walks away to continue shopping, leaving you space for a private chat, she is Low-Maintenance.
- If you’re headed out with your mates on a Friday night and she demands that you stay away from the strip clubs, she is High-Maintenance.If she hands you a stack-of single bills so that your drunk ass won’t give the strippers all your money, she is Low-Maintenance.
- If she gets dressed for a party and then the two of you leave, she is Low- Maintenance.If she gets dressed for a party, then asks you if she looks fat or if she should change, she is High-Maintenance.
- If she eats what she wants, wears what she wants and does what she wants, she is Low-Maintenance.If she obsesses over everything, can’t make a concise decision, and always cares what other people think about her, she is High-Maintenance.
- If you have any or all of the following: a boat, a plane, a sports car, a dirt bike, a motorcycle, Ski Doos, Jet Skis, a Four-Wheeler, an ATV, a Ute (Truck) for muddying and she doesn’t give fuck-all, she is Low-Maintenance.If she bitches at you about your boat, plane, sports car, dirt bike, motorcycle, Ski Doos, Jet Skis, Four-Wheeler, ATV, Ute (Truck), and demands that you sell your shit and ‘grow-up,’ she is High-Maintenance.
- If you’ve been to a mate’s birthday party and she’s still awake at 3am waiting for you to return, she is High-Maintenance.If you roll-in drunk at 3am from a mate’s birthday party, and she’s sound asleep when you drop into bed, she is Low-Maintenance.
- If she needs constant reassurance that she’s pretty; that you love her; that she’s ‘better than’ your exs; if she always has to know where you’re going, what you’re doing or who you’re with; if she has to see who you’re texting, emailing and calling; if she attracts drama like a magnet attracts iron, she is High-Maintenance.If she knows she’s pretty; loves herself; is way different than your exs; if she doesn’t give fuck-all where you’re going, what you’re doing, who you’re with or whom you’re texting, emailing, phoning; if she’s surrounded by drama yet deflects it like Wonder Woman’s shield, she is Low-Maintenance.
- If she tells you to remove your pants because she wants to blow you; if she loves your beard; if she wears headphones when you play your heavy metal bands during a road trip; if she cooks, does laundry, wears sexy panties and runs her own business like a Wall Street CEO; if she lays out a gourmet spread, the best beer and cigars for you and your mates weekly Poker Night, she is Low-Maintenance.If she tells you what to wear; to shave your beard; that her music’s better; that she shouldn’t have to cook, do the laundry or wear sexy panties because she is Liberated and runs her own business like a Wall Street CEO; if she barely gets the table cleared off before your mates arrive for your weekly Poker Night, she is High-Maintenance.
Self-explanatory, isn’t it?!
If you don’t want crazy, QUIT BRINGING IT HOME WITH YOU.
Women Do Not Do ‘NSA’ or ‘FWB’
No Strings Attached and/or Friends With Benefits. The ultimate Male Fantasy: free sex, without emotional ties.
Here’s the Reality: any woman who fucks you has an agenda, and that agenda, is called A RELATIONSHIP.
Oh, sure, some women say that they’re up for an emotionless fuck. Well, mate, that lie’s better than any bullshit line you’ve ever sold.
Any woman who tells you that she’s up for a NSA/FWB with you is THE ULTIMATE CRAZY. R.U.N. It’s the biggest female con game on the Planet: to ‘sex you’ into a relationship with her. It’s the epitome of ‘Here comes crazy,’ and it will not end well.
You should know enough about women by now, to hear what I’m saying. However, if you truly believe that you can fuck any woman at your convenience, and then cut-away free from her whenever it suits you, you’d better look-up the word “DELUSIONAL” on Google, because above the definition, is a snapshot of your face.
I once dated a guy who was also seeing four other women; he was just off a bad divorce, had an investment in condoms, and was out screwing like a parolee. He told me about the other women, because when we started dating, I point-blank asked him: “Who are you fucking?”
After we’d dated for a few months, he decided he wanted to be exclusive with me, so he ended it with the other four NSA/FWB women he’d been fucking. A few weeks later, he arrived at my house in a rental car, completely hysterical. [There’s just no other word to accurately describe his demeanor.]
He told me that the 1st women he’d ended it with had cried and cried, screaming at him that she’d been patient and undemanding, and that she’d begged him to not dump her; the 2nd women (whom he’d dumped via text because of his altercation with the 1st woman) had taken a steel baseball bat to his 1965 Mustang—she’d busted out his front window, his head lights and dented the hood of his car so badly, he couldn’t drive it; the 3rd woman (whom he worked with) began stalking him at work, and he’d had to get a Restraining Order; the 4th woman had called his ex-wife, told her a bunch of lies about him, and his ex-wife had just filed for Full Custody of his child. He was totally bewildered as to why these NSA/FWB women had ‘suddenly gone crazy’ on him. In all, it cost him almost $26,00.00 to ‘end’ all his NSA/FWB’s.
Women are crazy and shamelessly vindictive.
WE DO NOT EVER FUCK A MAN NSA OR FWB.
WE ALWAYS HAVE AN AGENDA.
THAT AGENDA, IS CALLED ‘A RELATIONSHIP.’
If a woman agrees to fuck you NSA/FWB, then the crazy is all on you, because you’ve asked for it.
Now that I’ve simplified a few facts about women, you should have no problems finding a non-crazy woman; one who won’t waste your time or your money and who will give you the best time in bed.
If you’ll just accept the fact that all women are Relationship-Oriented, bar none, then it should be easier for you to be more selective about where you stick your most prized possession.♥