Lottery Winner Dies After Gold Plating His Testicles

Winning the lottery is the dream of many.

Imagine how you could provide for your family in a way that you never thought possible. You could quit your job and buy that car, yacht, or dream home you’ve always wanted. Or you could have that gold plated testicle operation done that you’ve dreamed of your whole life.

For 38-year-old Justin Green, there was no question about it. It was door #3.

Justin, from Atlanta, grew up in poverty, living completely hand to mouth. When he got beyond lucky last year and won the 98 million dollar jackpot for the Georgia State Lottery, it seemed like it couldn’t have gone to a better person as his upbringing in squalor made for the perfect rags to riches outcome.

First things were first. Justin quit his job at Walmart. He then began preparing for what he called his “better life.”

Justin would now be able to live out all his fantasies, and one fantasy was in relation to a movie he saw when he was younger. It was the 2002 movie, Austin Powers in Goldmember. The Mike Myers’ character tracks a fugitive who is notorious for coloring his victim’s testicles in gold. Friends said that Justin was obsessed with the film.


Justin went on a shopping spree. On the list were gold chains, foreign cars, gold grills for his teeth and the icing on the cake, the cherry on top, the finishing touch for the epic spree, would be the gold plated genitals.

Unfortunately this last item cost Justin his life.

Unable to find anyone willing to perform the procedure after asking around the gold plating/gilding community, he turned to Tijuana. But even there the Tijuana doctors refused.

It was going to have to be done on his own, Green figured. He first tried painting his genitals gold with lead-based paint. But it just wasn’t enough. He wanted the real deal.

His last purchase would be a used professional automotive gold plater. He proceeded to go for it. Justin successfully gold plated his own genitals. But after 12 hours after the gold plating procedure, serious medical conditions arose leading him to seek hospital care. He died soon after.


Dr. Bill Rife was the doctor on hand who treated Green. It was mercury and lead poisoning which led to his untimely death. The doctor made the following statement:

“The human body just is not made to handle being gold plated. I don’t care how much money you have, money cannot buy common sense and money cannot help you cheat death.”

With no family, nor any surviving relatives, it became immediately unclear what would happen to the money. But Green had recently written a will where he stated that in the event of his death, his fortune was to go to a local racoon charity




Lottery Winner Dies After Gold Plating His Testicles

5 replies on “Lottery Winner Dies After Gold Plating His Testicles”

said to myself. no one can be that stupid so i googled it and its a fake story

I didn’t Google it and just trusted the source,
(which I probably shouldn’t have), but it is still funny as hell. I thought some people may get a chuckle. I know I did.

Best laugh I got was picturing the guy at the plating shop going “You want us to gold plate your WHAT?”

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