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Man Caught Trying To Smuggle Python Out Of Pet Store In Pants

 

A Florida man is facing theft charges after he was caught trying to smuggle a python out of a pet store in his pants.

According to WFLA, Travis Treder of Pasco County, Florida, entered Animal House Pet Center in St. Petersburg on Monday and asked to see the reptiles. What happened next did not surprise store owner Steve Silk, the name of a snake salesman if ever I did hear one, as he is used to this sort of thing from people who want snakes but cannot afford to buy them, generally, as well as Treder, specifically.

“We waited on him for probably about 15 minutes and then we went into the office to see what he was gonna do, and sure enough, he targeted our higher end snakes again,” he sighed to WFLA.

But Silk and company were ready this time. No sooner had they seen Treder “allegedly” — which I have to say, but come on, look at the video — stuff a baby python into the front pocket of his pants than the store’s employees sprang into action, enlisting the help of a customer who just happened to be a security guard to restrain the would-be snake-napper with plastic zip ties until the cops arrived. Not today, Treder. Not to-fucking-day.

Silk says they’ve had problems with Treder stealing snakes and lizards twice in the past, to the point where they printed out his picture and put it by the register in an effort to apprehend him. He thinks Treder is selling the critters on Craigslist, but I prefer to think of him as a reptile-specific Robin Hood, stealing snakes from the rich and providing them to Floridians whom high price tags and oppressive government policies have deprived of this basic human right.

I submit that if a man wants a snake badly enough to put it that close to his family jewels, he should be allowed to keep it.

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