Man Dubbed A ‘World Record Masturbator’ Avoids Jail For Exposure

Nude beaches could be a bit of a problem for blokes who get aroused easily. If you’ve ever been to one, you’ll know that it’s all about letting your junk hang and be free from the confines of clothes – it’s never, ever about checking out other people’s privates.

So you can imagine this type of place would be the last area a serial masturbator would want to be found.

Unfortunately for one woman, she found herself in a pretty awkward situation in Darwin, Australia.

She was asleep on the nudist beach, enjoying the sun and sand, when she woke up to a ‘fast, wet, slippery kind of sound’, according to documents lodged to court. The beachgoer looked up and saw Gary Thomas Chisholm touching himself, but he claimed he was just putting on sunblock, reports the Daily Mail.

While he told police he ‘thought he was alone’, there were enough witnesses to snap a picture of him driving away from the scene. They described him masturbating ‘vigorously, while thrusting his hips’, according to the Courier Mail. The sleeping sunbather ended up picking up a stick and whacking him with it.

Authorities eventually arrested him for indecent exposure and he pleaded guilty in court.

Incredibly, at the time of the incident, Chisholm was on bail for exposing himself to three people back in November.

But that’s not the most outrageous part of this story.

When the 45-year-old was in court for this latest run in with the law, his lawyer reportedly told the judge: “He says he’s extremely good at masturbating. He can do it extremely quickly. He basically has almost the world record in masturbating.”

How the hell does that help his case? It’s not as if the court will dismiss the charge because he can flog one out in a minute or two.

Chisholm’s lawyer says his client has the urge to masturbate up to 10 times a day.

He was sentenced to a five weeks and two days behind bars but it was suspended.

Judge Tanya Fong Lim said: “Your behaviour on both of these occasions is appalling. You may say you are embarrassed about having to come to court but you can imagine the embarrassment that both those ladies must have had.”

His lawyer added: “He has got to stop masturbating. He is now seeking help.

“He has to now come to grips with perhaps taking some kind of blocker to [stop him] doing it.”

Please wait...

And Now... A Few Links From Our Sponsors