As if sex weren’t awkward enough, it sometimes involves speaking. This is not always a great idea, mainly because people are people, and also because when your blood cells are all busy someplace else, your brain is not functioning at peak performance. Over on Reddit, men dished on the worst things their sexual partners have ever said to them. For reference: no matter how much you want someone to finish and how many times you’ve counted the ceiling tiles, “Hurry up” is never a nice thing to hear.
1. JackfromMN‘s lady made a very specific demand.
As im slipping it in,
her- “wait, you washed it since you pooped last,right?” ,
me- “what? Yes”,
her- “but with antibacterial soap, right?”,
me -“um, what… yeah sure”,
her -“i dont believe you. Go wash in now and i need to smell it first.”
2. Popperlicious received some information that would have been more useful before he came.
“I stopped taking the pill”……after I came…..
and that was the end of that relationship.
After spending the day with my niece, during a Blowjob:
“Do you think your (Three-Year-Old) niece will like sucking Dick like me, when she’s older?”
4. Oof, PussyWhistle. That’s rough. Walk it off, buddy, walk it off.
5. Perhaps the only response to PureOrangeJuche‘s lady friend’s statement is to constantly be expecting it. NEVER let your guard down.
“i’m gonna put something up your butt when you least expect it”
6. DJKhaledFan13‘s ex likened his penis to a fish (sort of) and HOW DOES IT FEEL, GUY?
One time my ex referred to my penis as “Wilfred”, the name of her fish
7. HowToBeABlackGuy really didn’t need to know that.
“ive never had sex with a black guy before”
8. Thowdatshitaway‘s girlfriend called him by someone else’s name. OUCH.
Gf of six months screams, “Oh my god, Greg!”
My name isn’t Greg.
9. Bongo_Bongo_Land heard something no one wants to hear.
“My boyfriend’s is bigger”
end playback10. All I can say about SkunkMonkey‘s lady is YIKES.
“fuck me daddy! fuck me! I won’t tell mommy, promise!”
I can get into some role play but that just creeped me the fuck out because she sounded like she had experienced it before. Yeah, that relationship ended real quick.
11. In the case of Naked_avenger, once again, YIKES.
One girl liked to say “baby boy.” One bang and never again.
12. Okay, awwshityeah‘s partner was just dang rude.
Wow. You’re really going bald.