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Men And Women Revealed The Craziest Things They Ever Did In Hopes Of Having Sex And Wow, People Are Thirsty

Sex. There isn’t much most of wouldn’t do in order to have it. We’re a very horny species.

So these confessions revealed over on Reddit with regard to the most outlandish things people have done in an effort to have sex should really comes as no surprise.

And yet, because this is the internet, they still somehow manage to do so.

The thirst is very, very real, folks.

Drove 35 miles at 1 a.m. in my clapped out 63 Impala while on leave. Arrived to find that the swingers I intended to meet were not in their 30’s as I mistakenly assumed, but in their 60s. Still banged, had a great time. Was 21. ~ 11bulletcatcher

Started smoking. Got laid for 3 months. Still have the habit 20yrs later.

Fuck you Amanda. ~ zadreth

Took my shirt off on a street corner in the shitty part of town. I’m a girl.

It would have worked, but the person was so awkward I couldn’t tell they were trying to bang too. ~ Root2109

I got invited over for a booty call from a woman I met outside a store, we never even went on a date, and before we got busy I had to watch the last 20 minutes of Toy Story 3, in bed with her and her 6 year old son.

I was desperate and she was a yoga teacher. It was worth it. ~ [deleted]

SO in shower, we hadn’t even gone to 3rd base, and I laid on the floor by the door hoping that she would take the hint and take it upon herself to climb on top of me and make THAT our special moment. I ended up just sadly laying on the floor. ~ greencaptain

Drove to Phoenix and back in one night from southern California (12 hours drive time).

It wasn’t worth it. ~ FallenAngel_02

I was dating a girl very briefly when she had to go to St. Louis for work for several months. Since we’d only been dating a month we decided to just do out things that summer and maybe re-connect when she got back to Chicago. Well about month in she asks if I’d like to come visit and spend the weekend. I wanted garaunteed sex, so I said yes. Three days before I’m set to go down there, she calls and says that she has to come to Chicago for a job interview during the time I’m supposed to be there. Since I was living at my mom’s place (this was right out of college), we wouldn’t have anywhere to go in the city and very little time to do anything.

So, I took an 8 hour bus ride to St. Louis. Got into town at 6pm, we banged once and went to bed, woke up at 6am, drove seven hours to Chicago, she did her interview, we drove seven hours back to St. Louis, she woke up and went to work and I took a nine hour bus ride back to Chicago. Then she sent me a Facebook message saying we shouldn’t see one another anymore. ~ duh_metrius

Became a vegetarian for 9 long months. Not even a grope before a dirty bacon sandwich brought me back to my senses. ~ lavachequipisse

Drove 2.5 hours (each way) to an airport where a girl had 45 minutes between connecting flights.

Worked though, did it in the airport parking garage, no regrets. ~ shyrra

Crashed a funeral at a church by myself for someone I didn’t know. Signed the guest book, paid respects, etc. Fortunately no one asked me any questions. The girl I was trying to hook up with was hired to sing at the funeral. She thought it was hilarious that I showed up. During the ceremony I texted her a comment about how easy it would be to clean bukkake from the cathedral floor. It was entertaining watching her try to fight back laughter while sitting behind the priest conducting the funeral.

The hook up attempt was successful. ~ diab0lus

Paid actual money to sit in a theater and watch Twilight 2. It worked though. ~ TooBadFucker

You people are lame. Here’s what happened to ME the time I tried to get a man to come home with me:

I was newly single and had gone on a ski trip with several friends. On the trip I hooked up with one of the guys – no big deal, fun evening, yada yada. We parted ways after the trip convened.

Several weeks later I am invited out by friends to a fancy pants night club. I’m jazzed because I got invited, and also because it was a nice place and I could go pretend to be one of the beautiful people in my town. I dress in a nice pair of fitted wool slacks, a matching long wool coat, understated jewelry and trendy boots. Yep, looking good girl! I say to myself on the way to the club.

I arrive and it’s me and 4 men, one of whom is hook-up dude from the ski trip. No problem, we all laugh and flirt and have a good time drinking expensive martinis. The guys decide they want to go to a strip club. Not to be left out, of course now I want to go because a. it’s too early to go home and b. I got all dressed and shit, might as well go somewhere else. (And I like strip clubs anyway.) So we all head to the nearest club which happens to be the skankiest one in town.

We settle ourselves in and within an hour three of the four guys left the club, leaving ski-trip hook up dude and me. He plants himself at the stage and is happily waving dollars around. He is quite drunk. I leave, feeling a little rejected because, you know. Strippers command attention.

I go to my car but before I get in I think to myself, “self, you are a fine, good looking woman! And you want a little sumpin sumpin, so just go back in there and GET THAT MAN.” I draw myself up to my full 5’4″, stick my hands in my pockets and strut across the parking lot, determined to be the confident modern woman I see on television.

With my eyes focused on the entrance I do not see – not even a teensy, tiny bit – do not see the large white concrete tire stopper in the parking lot. I tripped over it. Well, I didn’t just trip, I launched over it as if my boots had suddenly discharged tiny rockets from their heels. My hands flew out to stop my fall but I was moving too fast. I skidded across the gravel parking lot on my chest, coming to a stop a good three feet from the concrete block. In my shock and pain, I still didn’t actually see what happened. I thought a car hit me.

Now, dear Redditors, this is the moment when most of you would have crawled back into your car and called it a night. But no – I was on a mission, damn it! I got up and took inventory. My slacks were torn at the knee. Both palms were bloody and had pebbles embedded in them. My shirt was torn. Snot was coming out of my nose. My navy blue coat was grey with dust. I walked to the door man. He took a step back and asked what happened. I told him I needed to go back in to get my ‘friend.’ He stepped aside and I marched in, determined now more than ever to get Ski hook up to come home with me.

Mr. Ski dude is still where I left him, happily stuffing dollars into a girl’s panties. I sat down next to him. He turned his head and in a very shocked voice said, “Oh My God, what happened?” I held out both bloody palms and shouted (because it was loud in there) “I FELL!” He picked up some soggy cocktail napkins and tried to blot up the blood. Then, his face changes and he says, “why did you come back in here?”

AND THAT’s WHEN I MADE MY MOVE.

I wiped the snot and dirt off my face. I smiled sexily back at him. I tilted my head and said, “I came for you.”

He recoils. Like, almost off the chair. I wait for his answer and finally he says, “uhhh, I want to stay.” That hangs in the air for a couple of awkward seconds. He turns back to the stage. I sat there with a few balled up napkins stuck to my palms.

I was defeated. I got up from my seat at the stage and realize I was just rejected by a man I had ALREADY HAD SEX WITH. Man, that stung. But my hands were hurting even more. I went to the bathroom which, if you’ve never been in a strip club, also doubles as the girls dressing room. I walked in and immediately one of the dancers grabbed my hand, took me to the sink and tried to wash out the grit. Others helped by blotting the blood off my knee and smoothing my hair. Bless those women. I don’t know if they witnessed my complete humiliation but none said a word. They cleaned me up and sent me on my way.

Some months later, I happened to see Ski Dude again. Quietly, so nobody could hear, I looked him in the eye and said, “look, dude. If a girl comes to you bleeding from four different places, her clothing torn and dirty, and says she wants you to take her home, what she really wants is to GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM, got it?” He nodded. I stalked off indignantly. If I couldn’t get laid, at least I could get the last word.

I still have a pebble embedded in my palm as a reminder of my worst attempt at getting laid in my entire life. ~ Cookingforaxl

Now it doesn’t get any more desperate than that, folks.

I got married. ~ MyRealAlt

Whoops, I was wrong.

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