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Mermaid Sculpture Too Voluptuous For Cape Cod Beach Town
Today, in adorable small town problems: A busty sand sculpture of a mermaid has the Cape Cod beach community of Yarmouth in an uproar.
As reported by CBS Boston, Raymond Roy, owner of Salty’s restaurant, thought he’d participate in Yarmouth Summer Celebration’s sand art contest by hiring a sand sculptor to decorate his business with a sculpture of a mermaid riding a lobster. And not just any mermaid riding a lobster; a mermaid with giant tits. Also: skinnier than last year’s, presumably because her boobs ate the rest of her. He did this, he told CBS Boston, because “Nobody knows what a mermaid looks like…nobody’s ever seen a mermaid and I wanted something totally different.” (Speak for yourself, Raymond.) Why shouldn’t a mermaid’s gazongas be twice the size of her head? Considering she lives in the water, she probably wouldn’t even get back pain from them.
But no sooner had the artist brought to life Roy’s vision of a mermaid slowly crushing a lobster to death — possibly for sexual purposes — with her giant, pendulous breasts than controversy hit.
According to The Cape Cod Times, it started when the Yarmouth Police Department put a picture of the sculpture on their Facebook page with the caption “Yarmouth sand sculpture of the day.” Some citizens commented that they were offended, while others made dirty jokes objectifying the sand sculpture. Police chief Frank Frederickson even got some “calls from Yarmouth Chamber of Commerce and town hall staff who relayed some concerns from the public.” In a vain attempt at making everyone happy, Frederickson took the photo down.
Only, surprise!, that pissed off everyone who was for thesybaritic siren and turned Roy into a free speech martyr. If a sand sculpture of a mythical creature wants to flaunt her maritime mammaries in public, god dammit, that’s her right. Where is Kim Kardashian when you need her???
Despite feeling oppressed by what he interprets “censorship” by “the town” and “the Yarmouth Police [who] pulled it off their website,” Roy says he will not be defeated. He plans to leave the sculpture up and is planning an even greater grotesquerie for summer of 2017. Stay strong, brother.