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HOW MUCH MONEY DID THESE 13 CELEBRITY SEX TAPES MAKE?

If you’re a dude and insist you haven’t seen a celebrity sex tape, you’re a liar. You just are. So with the assumption that almost every guy has seen a celebrity sex tape, how much do these tapes actually make?

As I would find, there is absolutely no way to determine a celebrity sex tape’s profits, as the companies who release these tapes — Red Light District Video and Vivid, for example — are private companies and therefore would never provide an actual figure (plus, they wouldn’t account for bootlegs or tapes sold under the table out of warehouses, either). This being the case, I spoke with the only authority who could release estimated profits on these scandalous products.

This authority I speak of is Kevin Blatt, “the world’s only celebrity sex tape broker,” according to his Twitterbio. Since Blatt has worked on several celebrity sex tapes firsthand (his first being the infamous “1 Night In Paris” video), he knows of the “splits” and web dollars that went into the bigger, more renowned celebrity sex tapes.

At one point in his career, Blatt claims to have received a new sex tape every two weeks. As such, he’s seen more from your favorite celebrities than you’d ever imagine. “I can’t really tell you the celebrities that I saw because I have signed off on confidentiality agreements,” he told Vice, but mentions that these things include witnessing “very straight male actors engaging in very gay sex acts with men.”

Based on my conversation with Blatt via email, these are the profits made from your favorite celebrity sex tapes.

1. Farrah Abraham (2013)
farrah abraham sex tape, How Much Money Did These Celebrity Sex Tapes Make?
The “Teen Mom” reality star did a piss-poor job manufacturing a story as to how her professionally filmed sex tape was “stolen” from her. In actuality, Farrah Abraham would send lighting teams to various filming locations, according to Blatt. But regardless, Farrah made a killing from the tape, with last estimates seeing profits of over $500,000.

2. Pamela Anderson & Tommy Lee (1998)
pamela anderson tommy lee sex tape, How Much Money Did These Celebrity Sex Tapes Make?
The indisputable king of all sex tapes that saw a very hung Tommy Lee and a very busty Pamela Andersonengaging in various sex acts in various locales on their honeymoon has no definite profit.

Blatt insists there’s no way to get a full accounting of the tape as it never carried proper releases. “I know from a web perspective with IEG and ClubLove.com that it made MILLIONS,” he says.

3. Pamela Anderson & Bret Michaels (2005)
pamela anderson bret michaels sex tape, How Much Money Did These Celebrity Sex Tapes Make?
As for Pam’s other sex tape with “Poison” singer Bret Michaels, this one didn’t do nearly as well. Blatt estimates the grainy, homemade video made no more than “a few hundred grand,” which is nothing to balk at, but is devastatingly low compared to her and Tommy Lee’s.

4. Dustin Diamond (2006)
dustin diamond sex tape, How Much Money Did These Celebrity Sex Tapes Make?
The sex tape nobody asked for starring a grown-up Screech made roughly $150,000 according to Blatt, which is probably the most money the guy’s seen in the past two decades.

5. Fred Durst (2005)
fred durst sex tape, How Much Money Did These Celebrity Sex Tapes Make?
The sex tape featuring the Limp Bizkit singer was reportedly stolen from his computer. While he admits he was confronted by “at least” one company seeking his cooperation in selling the tape, he countered, “Absolutely not, I don’t wanna make any money off this. This is ridiculous.” “So when you see [celebrity sex tapes] out there with big company names on them, you can know people gave them permission to release it,” according to MTV. As a result, Durst made absolutely no cash from his tape.

6. Colin Farrell (2006)
colin farrell sex tape, How Much Money Did These Celebrity Sex Tapes Make?
Colin Farrell’s sex tape with Playmate Nicole Narain also made no money. “[The tape] was never sold online but rather blocked by litigation,” Blatt says.

7. Paris Hilton (2004)
paris hilton sex tape, 1 night in paris, How Much Money Did These Celebrity Sex Tapes Make?
This Paris Hilton title was Blatt’s claim to fame. The sex tape not only grossed over $50 million domestic, but earned hundreds of millions abroad due to fraud and copyright infringement. “It was the biggest Zelig tape of all time,” he says, and it won multiple AVN awards, including: “Best Selling Title Of The Year,” “Best Renting Title of the Year” and “Best Overall Marketing Campaign – Individual Project.”

8. Hulk Hogan (2012)
hulk hogan sex tape, How Much Money Did These Celebrity Sex Tapes Make?
The other sex tape nobody asked for and probably didn’t watch in fear of vomiting, was recently awarded $140 million from Gawker.com in damages as determined by the court.

This was more money than anybody — Hogan included — expected. As for Hogan himself, he made no money commercially from the tape, according to Blatt. “[He] might have gotten a million in ad dollars on Gawker.com,” he says.

9. Kim Kardashian (2007)
kim kardashian sex tape, How Much Money Did These Celebrity Sex Tapes Make?
The tape responsible for Kim Kardashian’s fame has earned close to $25 million and is still going, according to Blatt. The tape has been viewed over 93 million times on Pornhub alone, and has been ranked “the most viewed video of all time” by the site.

As for its authenticity? Blatt told Vice, “If the general public really believes that [the video is authentic], then the general public are dumber than I think they are.”

10. Joan “Chyna” Laurer (2004)
chyna sex tape, How Much Money Did These Celebrity Sex Tapes Make?
Legendary wrestler Chyna filmed a sex tape with fellow wrestler X-Pac in a video that would be commercially released under the clever title (sarcasm): “1 Night in China.” The video won an AVN Award for “Best-Selling Title” and saw profits of $500,000.

11. Kid Rock (2006)
kid rock sex tape, How Much Money Did These Celebrity Sex Tapes Make?
Kid Rock’s sex tape with Creed frontman Scott Stapp (who claims the film was “stolen” from him) and several strippers in Rock’s motor home (because where else would it be?) earned the guys absolutely nothing, as it was blocked and never released for commercial distribution.

12. Gene Simmons (2008)
gene simmons sex tape, How Much Money Did These Celebrity Sex Tapes Make?
The sex tape that sees Simmons making love to Foreigner’s “I Wanna Know What Love Is” also earned no money for the same reasons Rock’s hadn’t: He wanted absolutely nothing to do with the tape. Funny, neither did we.

13. Tila Tequila (2014)
tila tequila sex tape, How Much Money Did These Celebrity Sex Tapes Make?
Tila Tequila, whose claim to fame is unofficially related to MySpace, released a very hardcore sex tape of her own, descriptively titled: “Tila Tequila: Backdoored and Squirting.” Vivid inked the deal for her sex tape, which saw profits of around $200,000, Blatt says.

 

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