Nincompoop Calls 911 – Has Drug Fueled Rant Wife Stole His Cocaine – Puts Self On Fast Track To Jail

In Alliance, Ohio, a 39-year-old dialed emergency services because his wife allegedly stole his coke.

“Me and my lady’s having a misunderstanding n’ shit about something I bought,” Robert Collins, see mugshot, told police. “I bought some cocaine earlier, and she wanted to take my cocaine.”

The conversation drifts away from the line and into presumably the living room where Collins spouts off quite a few “fucks” and “shits” as the 911 operator waits patiently. It was only around the 2:55 mark (embedded below) that the caller returned to the line and realized who he had called in the first place.

He laughed, then wrote off the situation as if his life had temporarily found itself in a grittier “Curb Your Enthusiasm” episode. “It don’t matter,” he told the 911 operator. “I guess, man.”

Unfortunately, authorities did not feel the same way. A squad car arrived to the residents and arrested Collins for drug possession. The police report,obtained by The Smoking Gun, claims that Collins “had a pipe used to smoke marijuana in his possession,” was “arrested and charged with misuse of 911 and drug paraphernalia.”

Collins was taken to county jail, a place where several jag-offs usually end their party.


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