Norway is a pretty awesome country. There’s also a bunch of weird shit that goes on. Here are 14 Non-Norwegians Reacting To Norwegian Things.
Kransekake: “Looks like fancy Eggo waffles.”
What do you think this is?
Crystal (LA): Waffle stack of glory, OBVIOUSLY. TBH though, I get heartburn just looking at it.
Hilary (UK): Is that…. a waffle tower? Oh my. Be still my beating heart. No wonder you put so many flags in it, you should be proud and patriotic about this beautiful, calorie filled treat.
Hayes (DC): Wait are this a tower of rice cakes? Is Norway super into health food and I didn’t know about it?
Candice (LA): A patriotic waffle stack. I approve!
Adam (NY): I don’t remember but I think they had to do something with this in an episode of The Amazing Race once.
Michelle (LA): That is an adorable tower of rice cakes that looks better than it actually tastes. Great for an Instagram pic tho.
Sarah (Canada): Looks like fancy Eggo waffles. I feel curious and hungry.
Scott (UK): Those flags muse be very sharp and uncomfortable to swallow.
Kransekake is basically almond cake rings with icing. Norwegians eat it for special occasions.
Hunderfossen troll: “Wow, Muppets are really creepy in Norway.”
Hayes (DC): Swamp Thing and the Yeti had a child and it is the worst.
Jenna (Sydney): Is this one of the old gods from Game of Thrones?
Crystal (LA): A reject from Where The Wild things Are. Not enough wild, too much nose.
Paul (UK): That’s a fairytale thing isn’t it — Old Wilty Dicknose. Comes to you at night if you forget to wash behind your ears.
Hilary (UK): Wow, Muppets are really creepy in Norway.
Ema (NY): Vaguely how I felt the morning after Pride.
Adam (NY): This is a nightmare. It makes me feel like I am in a nightmare.
Sarah K. (NY): A tree man thing. He should marry grandmother Willow.
Scott (UK): That tree is coming after us and everyone you love.
Norwegians love trolls. This one is located at a theme park in Lillehammer.
Russ: “It’s a sex convention for parachute jumpers.”
What’s going on here?
Hayes (DC): “Hi, I’m Chris Hansen. Have a seat, please.”
Bibi (Mexico): It’s a sex convention for parachute jumpers.
Candice (LA): Rabid Sex and the City Fan girls/women? Oh my… O_o
Michelle (NY): That’s gotta be a bad reality TV show that I would probably watch.
Paul (UK): It’s like ABBA and Sex and the City’s tour buses got mixed up.
Scott (UK): Well everyone is THRILLED about INTERCOURSE.
Jenna (Sydney): Some kind of Sex and the City cheer squad/dance crew? They bust some sick moves while asking themselves existential questions and drinking Cosmos, I guess.
Hilary (UK): Why, it’s a crazy outdoor sex car park party of course! I’d say that they’re either students, skiers, or skiing students.
Ema (NY): In Norway, orgies are a sport.
Russ is when high school seniors wear ridiculous pants, pimp out a bus, and do crazy drunk stuff for weeks.
Smalahove: “NO NO NO NO NO. NOPE. NO.”
How do you feel about this?
Sarah K. (NY): NO NO NO NO NO. NOPE. NO.
Hayes (DC):The Lord of the Flies is apparently set in Norway. Who knew?
Maritsa (NY): Is this… a horse head…? Did I just get Godfathered?
Michelle (NY): This is something I would see in a nightmare. Like I’m dreaming I’m at a restaurant, I order spaghetti, and the waiter brings me a goat head on a plate, and stands over me waiting for me to eat it.
Crystal (LA): This is like Hannibal Lecter’s worst nightmare. Not just because it’s not human, but also because of the poor-ass presentation. Two cannibal thumbs down.
Scott (UK): I don’t know what to say about this… was this an animal or some weirdly shaped bread? I’m so confused right now.
Candice (LA): I can still see the sadness in that poor beast’s eyes. :’(
Ema (NY): If one could conjure Satan’s head fried on a platter, it would look something like this.
Bryant (NY): I’ve seen weirder stuff.
Smalahove is boiled sheep’s head. We’re going to go cry now.
Handball: “Pussy rugby.”
What do you think about this?
Hayes (DC): Think soccer is too hard? Don’t worry! There’s always handball!
Bibi (Mexico): Pussy rugby.
Bryant (NY): Upgraded version of dodgeball.
Maritsa (NY): This is a game of soccer where people are breaking a whole lot of rules.
Scott (UK): Handball, which from this photo means ANYTHING GOES SO A WORLD OF PAIN.
Sarah A. (Canada): Seems like a epic soccer and football mash-up sport.
Alex (SF): I’d def play.
Hilary (UK): “I can’t believe you stole my girlfriend Lars, I’m going to hit you in the face with this football!” “No Sven, leave it, he’s not worth it.”
Norwegians take handball pretty seriously.
Vigeland: “I don’t think these people fully understand babies.”
What’s going on here?
Jenna (Sydney): What the fuck?
Michelle (NY): No fuckin’ clue. But I relate more with the statue on the left. Who needs kids, amirite?
Hayes (DC): This set of statues commemorates Norway’s Great Baby Revolt. Here’s a rundown. 1: Norway’s adults horrible mistreat the babies of the country. 2: The babies revolt. 3: The babies take over the country.
Maritsa (NY): I don’t think these people fully understand babies.
Elena (NY): This is exactly how I imagine raising children would be like.
Hilary (UK): Ah, it’s the age-old story. Rampaging guy punches babies, babies get their revenge by using his girlfriend as a pony.
Ema (NY): Ancient Viking 50 Shades of Grey.
Sarah K. (NY): Monuments remind you why kids are the worst.
Alex (SF): Art… duh.
Scott (UK): Call the police. What is wrong with your country?
Vigeland Sculpture Park is a statue installation located in Frogner Park in Oslo. The statues are the work of Gustav Vigeland who also designed the Nobel Peace Price.
Sylte: “It’s like a lovely meat sandwich where the bread is meat and the filling is meat.”
How does this make you feel?
Elena (NY): Not happy, I’ll tell you that much.
Maritsa (NY): Mmmm hungry. Bacon.
Jenna (Sydney): It’s making my mouth twist in disgust IRL. Seriously.
Crystal (LA): Sad for all the murdered pigs whose lives amounted to this pork monstrosity.
Candice (LA): This looks like a turduckin, but meatier. Didn’t think that was possible.
Michelle (NY): That is a roast beef sandwich to end all roast beef sandwiches. If you finish that your picture gets taken and hung up on the wall of the restaurant shortly before you keep over and die.
Scott (UK): HAMMMMMMMMMMMMMM (Angie’s voice from 30 Rock).
Hilary (UK): It’s like a lovely meat sandwich where the bread is meat and the filling is meat. It’s probably healthy, sort of. It’s certainly low-carb.
Bryant (NY): Meat cake!
Ema (NY): An excellent thing to hide in your enemy’s sock drawer.
It’s basically what it looks like: Meat.
Bunad: “It’s a multi-generational beauty pageant.”
What’s going on here?
Hayes (DC): Pretty sure this is a deleted scene from Frozen.
Hilary (UK): Elsa! Anna! How’ve you been, guys? Do you want to build a snowman?
Candice (LA): Like Scottish clans, only Norwegian… and less creepy because they’re presumably wearing underwear.
Adam (NY): ~fashion~
Crystal (LA): Paris and Nicole Hilton’s Norwegian dopplegangers of course.
Michelle (NY): Don’t know but I love it and I want to be a part of it. Sign me up.
Paul (UK): Dress perfection across all generations.
Jenna (Sydney): It’s a multi-generational beauty pageant.
Alex (SF): A festive celebration of tradition through generations and they all forgot to tell the great grandma.
Sarah A. (Canada): The grandma is super pissed because she didn’t get the red and black dress memo.
Bunad is traditional Norwegian garb usually worn on 17 Mai (Norway’s constitution day).
IceMusic Festival: “A DJ who couldn’t afford turntables so he just used ice.”
Hayes (DC): No wait, I lied ~This~ is a deleted scene from Frozen.
Maritsa (NY): This man is doing a live performance of “Let It Go” in the way it was meant to be performed.
Candice (LA): An ICE CONCERT! I would see this. Does the concert end when everything melts? Does the tone change as things are melting? SO MANY QUESTIONS.
Jenna (Sydney): Is he… PLAYING ice?! That sounds like a quick way to get frostbite.
Sarah A. (Canada): A DJ who couldn’t afford turntables so he just used ice.
Alex (SF): An artist to be featured on Kanye’s next album.
Paul (UK): Probably Moby. He has to be relevant somewhere.
Hilary (UK): Is that Paul McCartney playing a keyboard made of ice? Next to some ice windchimes? Or am I just really really really drunk?
Sarah K. (NY): Ice instruments?! If the white walkers had concerts, this would be it.
Yeah, it’s basically what it looks like. A festival where people play ice.
Hjell: “A fish cemetery.”
What’s going on here?
Hayes (DC): Clearly this is an offering to Godzilla to keep the country safe for another year.
Adam (NY): They are drying fish. I also think this was in an episode of The Amazing Race. I knew watching that show would pay off someday.
Crystal (LA): Hey, Norway, try roof shingles next time. *eyeroll*
Scott (UK): To be honest, who needs a freezer when you’ve got minus 30 degrees directly outside your house?
Sarah A. (Canada): A fish cemetery.
Bibi (Mexico): Someone is drying fish so they can eat it while watching an aurora borealis.
Hilary (UK): Ah, the traditional fish washing lines of Norway. When you’ve given your pet fish a good scrub, you hang it out to dry for a while, then bring it in and put it back in the tank. Classic.
Ema (NY): I’VE BEEN HERE. When you bike over those dried, gaping, fish heads it makes a really unnerving crunching noise.
They’re drying fish out!
Ylvis: “A poor man’s Jon Snow and Robb Stark.”
Who are these people?
Maritsa (NY): Two very neutral bros.
Hayes (DC): Norway’s version of the Jonas Brothers?
Jenna (Sydney): Apparently every country has a requirement for two bland white guys to host reality singing competitions.
Michelle (NY): Based on their hair and that scarf they’ve gotta be Norway’s hottest pop stars.
Hilary (UK): I’m not completely sure, but I think the one on the right is a bad waxwork of the one on the left.
Adam (NY): They aren’t people, they are plastic robot men.
Elena (NY): Robots from the future here to destroy the human race.
Alex (SF): A poor man’s Jon Snow and Robb Stark.
Bryant (NY): Swipe right.
Sarah A. (Canada):Game of Thrones actors?
Crystal (LA): WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes. Brothers, right? Haha.
You can thank Vegard and Bård Ylvisåker for getting “What Does the Fox Say” stuck in your head.
Royal family: “The cast of Norwegian Les Miserables.”
Who are these people?
Jenna (Sydney): Amy Poehler has a secret Norwegian family who still dresses like they’re in the 1600s?!?!
Candice (LA): The Von Trapp family.
Crystal (LA): King and Queen Ichibod and their royal norwagian descendants Stegan, Inga, Inger, Lilliput, and a furry dog statue.
Paul (UK): Probably royals. Mere mortals can’t afford that many buttons.
Bibi (Mexico): What about the dog who is just tired of the pictures.
Alex (SF): Probably a royal family and a dog that has no chill.
Scott (UK): JUST AT THAT PROUD DOG WHO CARES ABOUT THE REST OF THESE PEOPLE.
Bryant (NY): Awkward. I’m that dog.
Ema (NY): The cast of Norwegian Les Miserables.
That’s the Crown Prince Haakon, Crown Princess Mette-Marit, Marius Borg Høiby (Mette-Marit’s son from a previous relationship), Princess Ingrid and Prince Sverre. Oh, and their dog Milly Kakao, of course.
Jan Egeland: “A Norwegian Tim Gunn.”
And who’s this?
Hayes (DC): The King of Norway? Do you people do a king?
Maritsa (NY): Some nerd.
Alex (SF): A Norwegian Tim Gunn.
Paul (UK): No idea, but I want to poke that middle wrinkle and see what it does to the rest of his face.
Hilary (UK): Didn’t he play Voldemort in Harry Potter?
Bryant (NY): He looks important.
Ema (NY): Someone diplomatic. You can tell from the sensible glasses.
Jan Egeland is a big Norwegian politician. Ylvis even made a song for him.
Breakfast: “Pretty sure I once threw up something very similar.”
Finally, what do you think about this?
Hayes (DC): This is roughly 66% appealing, 33% terrifying.
Maritsa (NY): Looks good, but that cheese is just begging to be melted on that bread.
Alex (SF): Americans aren’t the only ones with suspect cheese.
Sarah K. (NY): I am confused. All of this could be good separately! Why together?? Also, melt that cheese, please.
Michelle (NY): Pretty sure I once threw up something very similar.
Scott (UK): It’s a little bit “let’s have a look in the fridge and bring out whatever is left,” no offense.
Jenna (Sydney): I would eat 75% of it.
Hilary (UK): YES PLEASE GET IN MY FACE. I will eat all of this lovely stuff. I don’t even care that you seem to be serving prawns with jam, it looks too nice to complain about.
Ema (NY): Shrimp with breakfast is risky, but also probably rewarding.
Sarah A. (Canada): Shrimp for breakfast? I’m moving to Norway.