Normal People Who’ve F**ked Celebrities Give Us The Dirt

Normal People Who’ve F**ked Celebrities Give Us The Dirt


There are various Reddit threads dedicated to the subject of sex with celebrities. Turns out lots of former/current groupies are more than happy to fuck and tell in an anonymous online forum. Of course, some of these stories may be fabricated. But many of these first, second, third and fourth-hand accounts, pulled from various Reddit threads, are too believable to not be real (I mean c’mon, of COURSE John Mayer said that). And some (one) of these people even brought receipts.

So enjoy these stories of sex transcending the boundary separating the famous from the normals, because it’s the closest most of us will ever get to being naked with our idols. And after reading these stories, you might not want to:

1. TheIcehouse‘s friend’s mom dated Jackie Chan and has the receipts:

My friend’s mom was a flight attendant for Southwest Airlines back when this was an awesome thing to be.

She has several stories of famous people hitting on her, and actually dated Jackie Chan for a bit. Here is a picture of them together. She said he was very sweet.

Photographic evidence (he does look sweet):

2. Maxpower1234‘s ex-It’s Complicated blew a Blowfish:

A girl I used to have an on again, off again fling with had sex with Darius Rucker (hootie from hootie and the blowfish). She said he was a fantastic lay, a perfect gentleman, and even sang to her in the morning as he made her breakfast. On the way out he thanked her for being a good host and said she had a lovely house.

3. You guyyyyyys, Smark_Henry‘s friend slept with Stiffler’s Mom.

Not me, I’m lucky to ever even get with non-celebrities, but a pretty good friend of mine had sex with Jennifer Coolidge (Stifler’s mom) this year. He’s only 27 and she’s 52 so the ‘prowling cougar’ character she’s famous for may be kinda accurate. He gets embarrassed if you bring it up, but I’m like, dude, you banged the quintessential MILF, there’s an entire genre of porn named after the term that person popularized, own up to it with pride!

4. BobDolesPotato‘s roommate’s friend’s mom did it with DMX! Up in here! Up in here!

friend of a roommate’s mother fucked DMX. we got his number from her cell phone but his answering machine message was just him barking for 30 seconds.


5. This chick at DudeManBroSloth‘s school hooked up with the Based God (not to be confused with God):

this chick at my school hooked up with based god when he preformed at our 4/20 spring jam festival thing and when she woke up in his hotel room he was gone, there was like 23 dollars and a little bag of really shitty weed by the bed. hilarious.

6. tdub1111‘s co-worker banged Bon Jovi but you probably already knew that:

My mom’s coworker banged Bon Jovi. She told everyone about it including me when I was 10.

7. Miathermopolis says Ron White has a “very pink” dong (is that wrong?):

I know a girl who had sex with Ron White (I know, right? shudder).

She said, “It was very pink” when referring to his dong, but said he smoked her out with some super dank weed and had a fat stash to boot.

I ended up meeting him while I was working at the bar downtown that I worked at, gave him my number because, why the hell not, it’s not like I’m ever going to see him again.

He texted me a little while later saying he was waiting for his flight at the airport and asked me to send him naked pics.

I didn’t, but I had a nice laugh about the whole thing.

8. plissken627 got a Weezer solo, if you know what I mean:

I had sex with Brian Bell from weezer when they were touring in Manitoba. Great guy. He played the say it aint so solo for me

9. SmellyMickey met a woman who had sex with Steven Tyler. We’ll buy it.

A few years ago a woman I worked with always bragged about how she slept with Steven Tyler when she was 18 (she’s probably in her late 40s early 50s now). According to her, they still talk on the phone about once a year, not sure if that’s true though.

10. groupiethrowaway‘s groupie story is definitely not a throwaway:

Blew the drummer of a reasonably big 90’s punk rock group in the back of their tour bus. I was young and dumb and had terrible aim, so he ended up cumming all over his shirt. On my way out, I was introduced to the rest of the band….. I ended up shaking all their hands. It was awkward.

He and I keep in touch occasionally, but we’ll go years without talking. He set me up with backstage passes once when he was in town and he actually toured me around when I had a 10 hour lay over in his city.

7/10. Not bad.

11. We believe this Derek Jeter story 100%. Via diba_:

My friend’s cousin dated Derek Jeter for a while and had keys to his apartment. According to the story she entered one day to find him butt ass naked on his couch watching highlights of himself and bumping his chest with his fist saying “YEAH JEETS, YEAH JEETS”.

12. Tanto628‘s mom sounds like fun. Unless she’s your mom.

My mom dated and performed oral sex upon Chad Smith of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I found out about this in highschool when I had a bunch of friends over one night. We were trying to make my mom uncomfortable with our innuendo and humor and she drops that bomb shell on us. She described it in detail, to a room full of fifteen year olds decked out like Hot Topic billboards. You never forget a moment like that, hearing your mom describe the taste of a famous drummers load.

I can’t listen to the Red Hot Chili Peppers anymore.

edit: For clarification, they were both in highschool at the time of the incident.

13. Harley_Quin‘s stripper friend Destiny slept with Kid Rock. Sounds about right.

At the club I work at several years ago (maybe five) kid rock came in one night after playing downtown. Well he hit it off with one dancer named Destiny. They went back to his tour bus, where they got fucked up and did they deed. She supposedly hung out with him for a week. And apparently he likes rough anal. So there’s that.

14. vurtforge has a John Mayer story for the ages:

In college my friends and I made side money working setup for conventions. This was in Dallas around 04 or 05 and we had finished the day at an anime convention called A-Kon and were relaxing in the hotel bar afterwards and in walks John Mayer, who apparently had a concert nearby the next night. After a few drinks the only female in our crew gets up the nerve to go talk to him. From our perspective they converse and drink for an hour or so and then leave together; we all cheer and go back to our booze. Less than 30 minutes later she comes back to the table barely able to keep a huge grin off her face. We all slap her on the back and ask what happened. Her response: “Well we got up to his room and we make out for a bit and then he says ‘So are you going to let me fist you or what? Because if you aren’t there are plenty of girls here that will.'” This is the guy that wrote ‘Your Body is a Wonderland.’

15. ThrowAwayAllDamnDay‘s Nickelback story will piss you off:

I know a girl who used to hook up with Chad Kroeger from Nickelback all the time. Said he is hung like a horse which kinda pisses me off.

16. Slash is a good lover, according to evilive:

A friend of mine lost her virginity to Slash after a GnR show back in the early 90s. Apparently he was a real gentleman and a good fuck.

17. Which baseball player gives out post-coital goodie bags? ViaSleepTalkerz:

Obligatory “not me,” but I have a female friend who met and hooked up with a very well-known baseball player a few years ago. In the morning, he was gone when she woke up, but his assistant or someone gave her this gift bag full of expensive shit (like an iPod, designer sunglasses, etc.) and some high-end gift cards on her way out of his place, along with a note that said “thanks for a great night” or something along those lines. She said he was a perfect gentleman. Apparently, from what I’ve heard, this is a pretty regular thing. All his one-night stands get a goody bag.

This person followed up to say “the dude who drilled my friend was notDerek Jeter.” Good to know.

18. JLesh13‘s friend’s sister blew Pauly Shore on a Greyhound bus.

My friend’s sister blew Pauly Shore on a Greyhound bus. He was fucking horrified when she told him, I believe his response was something akin to YOU SUCKED THE WEASEL’S DICK

19. Toby_O_Notoby‘s friend slams an Oasis member’s member:

Friend of mine slept with Liam Gallagher from Oasis back in the ’90s. I know this because I went home with her roommate who had the following message on her answering machine: “Hey, don’t tell anyone but I’m in Liam Gallagher’s hotel bathroom and I’m about to fuck him!”

TL;DR: He had a small dick and blamed it on the coke.

20. They don’t call her lustywench99 for nothing!

I made out with John Popper from Blues Traveler. I didn’t do anything more though.

It was many years after they’d gotten big. Did a small time gig and I was in college. I liked their shows, and had a really low cut top. He invited me back into the venue for drinks. I was invited to the bus but declined, thinking it would be a good thing to instead slip him my number. I’m sure he went on to the next drunk college girl, which is fine.

I like to tell people his lips tasted like a Grammy. I don’t know 2hat one tastes like, but I’d like to think he kissed his Grammy with those lips. Closest I’ve been to a Grammy.

Hard to figure out who’re the bigger creeps: celebs who sleep with fans, or us for throwing ourselves at them.

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