Nurse Fails Drug Test, Blames It On The Fact She Had ‘Very Sweaty’ Sex With A Coke User

Yeah, that’s not how things work, lady.

Tara Seymour is a nurse in Melbourne, and as a nurse it is probably best that you don’t do drugs so of course they all get drug tested. Well, Seymour failed her drug test as traces of cocaine were found in her body. But it was Seymour’s explanation that landed her in the news. Her explanation? She had “very sweaty” sex with a man who just happened to be a coke user.

Seymour appeared before the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal in March after failing a drug test last November. Seymour explained to the VCAT that hours before the drug test she just happened to have sex with a “very sweaty” man without contraception, and that she didn’t bathe or use the bathroom between the sex and providing the urine sample. I see…


Photo: Facebook/Tara Seymour

Oh, but not to worry, Seymour did admit taking drugs a Thai vacation and coke at a party, but not before the test. Um, got it.

Julia Chang, a chemical pathologist, calls Seymour’s explanation for failing a drug test “highly improbable.” Hell, I could have told you that.

via NY Post

Seymour’s suspected drug abuse was first drawn to the attention of the Australian Health Practitioner Regulation Authority back in 2014 but no action was taken. A second anonymous source raised the alarm again in March last year and two months later a drug test found traces of methamphetamine, amphetamine and non-prescribed sedative zolpidem in Seymour’s hair.

The Board suspended her for a month and on return, placed her under supervision and imposed frequent drug tests.

She was eventually placed on less stringent and costly tests — but after the November test proved positive for cocaine — she was cautioned and the stricter testing program reinstated.


Photo: Facebook/Tara Seymour

The VCAT of course found Seymour to be full of it. Here’s what deputy president Heather Lambrick had to say.

“More relevantly, various features of Ms. Seymour’s case made her explanation of contamination less credible. Prior to giving evidence before us, Ms. Seymour had never told the board that she had sexual intercourse on the morning of 16 November, 2016. She only made reference to the evening of 15 November, 2016. Ms. Seymour, in her evidence before us, was at pains to deny that she had in any way wiped or cleaned herself or urinated for some hours after sexual intercourse. We considered this unlikely.

There are very good reasons for no tolerance. Nurses more than many other professions have ready access to drugs. The potential for abuse must be carefully monitored. The impact of a nurse being drug affected on patient care is obvious. We accordingly formed a belief that the way in which Ms. Seymour practices nursing may be unsatisfactory.”

Seymour has been suspended for a month and will be placed under supervision and required to undertake frequent drug testing when she returns. Makes sense. Just stay away from the sweaty sex.