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O.J. Simpson Has A Crush On Kris Jenner, Is Obsessed With Caitlyn Jenner And Could Be Out Of Jail In 2017

If you watched The People vs. O.J. Simpson American Crime Story series on FX, you’re probably still pulling what’s left of your hair out of your skull and wondering how you got so many holes in the wall. You also know Simpson was convicted of kidnapping and armed robbery in 2008. But, “The Juice” could be loose from jail as soon as October 2017 when he’s eligible for parole.

I guess it’s fate – or maybe destiny – that he’s currently imprisoned at Lovelock Correctional Center, because according to New York Times‘ best-selling author Ian Halperin and RadarOnline.com, O.J. has a long-time crush on his former best friend Robert Kardashian’s ex-wife, Kris Jenner, the matriarch of the Kardashian Klan. If you’re Kris Jenner, you move to Mars, right? Like, I heard that she recently opened a business school in Dubai but I don’t think that’s far enough away from O.J.

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In The People vs. O.J. it was pretty clear that Kris thought O.J. killed Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman from the moment she caught wind and she – along with a mountain of evidence, intuition, and common sense – eventually swayed her ex-husband, Robert. Now, the guy who took away your best friend has the hots for you and would like to date you. Peace out, Earth. Get Richard Branson on the line and find out when the next flight to the moon will be. Wouldn’t that be a riot? The Kardashian colonize the moon.

Why does Halperin know all this? Because he wrote a book called, Kardashian Dynasty: The Controversial Rise of America’s Royal Family, (that title alone is enough to make you leave the planet) and the author claims that O.J. plans to marry Kris and if that doesn’t work out, he’s going after Caitlyn Jenner.

“O.J. is obsessed with Caitlyn. He is struck by how she has captured the hearts of the world and said with a straight face, ‘When I get out of here I would consider dating her, too’.”

So, if the Kardashians haven’t already pissed through their collective pants, Halperin leaves us with this little haunting parting shot:

“O.J. definitely has a plan when he gets out of prison and he intends to be around the Kardashians. He is going to pitch to them about getting a spot on the show. He is broke, he needs money and he feels his only chance to get back on TV — which is his dream — is to hook up with his old ‘family.’”

KIDS! Pack your bags! We’re going to space! I mean, O.J. definitely has CTE, right? I sawConcussion, I know what’s up. Next, he’ll be huffing paint in his pick-up truck then end up getting dissected by Will Smith.

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