Oh, Sweet, Scientists Think The Super Volcano Under Yellowstone Could Blow Any Day (And Kill Millions)



Good morning, and welcome to our nation’s impending doom. It’s not fiscal collapse, class warfare, or even our fascist president coming to take our guns.

Nope, all petty annoyances compared to the real threat. The super volcano under Yellowstone National Park, which scientists fear could erupt at any moment.

For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, a super volcano is just like a regular volcano, only … actually, I’m not really sure of the technical definition. Let’s consult the internet.

A supervolcano is any volcano capable of producing a volcanic eruption with an ejecta mass greater than 1015 kg.

Boom. Learned. And if one goes off? Fudge. Lava fudge.

Experts at the European Science Foundation said volcanoes – especially super-volcanoes like the one at Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming, which has a caldera measuring 34 by 45 miles (55 by 72 km) – pose more threat to Earth and the survival of humans than asteroids, earthquakes, nuclear war and global warming.

Oh. That … uh… So you are saying there is a giant damn one under the middle of America? That is ripe for a essploshun?

Instances of volcanic eruptions are their highest for 300 years and scientists fear a major one that could kill millions and devastate the planet is a real possibility.

If any of them or other massive volcanic peaks suffered a major eruption the team said millions of people would die and earth’s atmosphere would be poisoned with ash and other toxins “beyond the imagination of anything man’s activity and global warming could do over 1,000 years.

There are already fears that Yellowstone could blow any time within the next 70 years on a scale that would wiped out the western USA and affect the course of global history.

Great. Good. Great.

This ain’t just people blowing volcanic smoke up your ass, either.

Researchers from the University of Utah claim research has shown that if the volcanic national park across Wyoming, Idaho and Montana in the US, went off it would have worse effects than a nuclear winter and dwarf all natural disasters of recent history.

Hsin-Hua Huang and colleagues at the university have since described it as “one of the planet’s biggest time bombs.”

Probably don’t need to fret to much about work I guess. Or anything for that matter. Stock up on blankets though, for the resultant ice age will be chilly.




Oh, Sweet, Scientists Think The Super Volcano Under Yellowstone Could Blow Any Day (And Kill Millions)

5 replies on “Oh, Sweet, Scientists Think The Super Volcano Under Yellowstone Could Blow Any Day (And Kill Millions)”

In the UK we’ll be far enough away to watch it on telly before it turns bad over here.

PBTHH… lived nearly on top of it most of my life. Been told that for just as long. Ya it’s gonna blow any day, in the next few thousand years. But if I’m around when it does, at least it’ll be over b4 I even know what the hell happened! lol

You do know that if the U.S. is going down…we’re taking all you sons of bitches down with us.

I believe there’d be a 20 year global recession if it happened, but in the end I’d be better off. I welcome the supervolcano.

Southern Hemisphere dude. Impacts, but not as bad. You’ll be refugees!

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