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People Shared The Most Unexpected Things Their Partners Have Ever Done In Bed And WOW, I Need A Rubber Ducky

Sometimes in the heat of passion weird events transpire. If you’ve just picked up some chick at a bar and you’re suddenly getting to know each other in the biblical sense then there’s really no telling of what might happen because you don’t each other at all. Do you really know if that chick you met on Tinder last night isn’t a Furry who’s into having sex in costume? What about that bartender you’ve been laying ground work on for weeks, do you really know anything about her other than she’s generous with the free Fireball shots? No, you don’t.

Below are a bunch of confessions from people sharing the most unexpected/out of the blue things to ever happen in bed. They range from ‘well, that was odd’ to ‘holy shit, what just happened?!?!’ and due to the sexual nature of these stories you should know that some of them are borderline NSFW, but it’s all just words (via AskReddit):


Purplegreen23:
My husband spread my ass cheeks…and got face real close to my butt hole and just screamed. Like screamed as loud as he could. It was so violating for a second and then i died laughing.


brewski4broski:
Ex gf. She was riding me, and when I was about to come (she knew it) she started choking me, riding me faster, and then slapped me in the face. After it was done, she asked me if I liked it. I did not.


The username checks out on this one…

fuckswithducks:
One of my favorite sex moves was actually discovered by my girlfriend’s improvisation. We were having regular missionary position sex when she decided to wedge my rubber ducky between our hips so it would give off a muffled squeak with every thrust. We’ve been doing it ever since, though we don’t do it as much these days because it completely crushes and deforms the poor duckies after doing it a few dozen times.


theghostofbillcosby:
I met a girl on tinder, and we went out a few times, she was honestly amazing and I fell for her pretty hard.
The last time we saw each other, it was late, like 3 or 4AM, and we were having sex in her room. She tells me she has a fighting fetish, and asks if I’m comfortable with it. I agree and we start getting a little rough, slapping and what not.
Out of fucking no where she winds up and punches me directly in the mouth. My tooth goes through my lip and I’m pouring blood all over us.
I freak out and run into the bathroom naked and covered in blood, and run into her room mate in the hall.
They start fighting and I grab my shit and slip out. Once I get to my car she calls me saying shit like “I thought you could handle it” and “don’t be a pussy”
Haven’t talked to her since


KINSORYAL
Was once having sex with my SO doggy style and in front of us was a mirror, I waved at her through the mirror and she laughed so hard that she pissed all over my d**k and the bed


gracepark:
I had asked my partner if I could wake him up with a bj the next morning. He laughed and said “sure sounds sexy”. Despite some rather vigorous action, he didn’t wake up. Start to finish, mostly flaccid, but finished none the less. He was snoring the whole time.


viberight:
She came really hard as I did too, her vagina clenched really hard (that felt like heaven) which then pushed my penis out and she sharted


71704031808:
My first time with her (I had known her for all of two days), she tried to finger my butt hole, bit my d**k rather hard, and said to me (as we were having sex) “Pretend like you love me” and “I just want to pretend like someone cares about me.”
Absolutely none of those things were turn-ons.


kitty-kouhai:
He was on top of me and we were experimenting with blindfolding. He ties a pillow case over his eyes and is looking around. “I can only see shapes!” He says and suddenly he rips the loudest fart I’ve ever heard. While he was sitting on my stomach. This was in the beginning of our relationship so we hadn’t really gotten into the farting around each other phase. I laughed so hard that we couldn’t continue, the mood was gone.


aidyfarman:
My wife usually waits until we’re near the end and then starts asking “Are you feeing it now, Mr. Krabs?”


boiler_drum:
One night stand. She just stops in the middle of the act, goes to the adjecent room naked and starts yelling “Mrs X, helloo… Are you alive? Are you breathing?”. Returns promptly and continues as if nothing happened.
Turns out, she was hired to take care of an elderly woman so she could live with her rent-free.


JustJoeB:
Her mom called mid-sex. She was expecting the call because of some family issue so when the phone rang while she was riding me, she looked at the caller ID, got off me and just said “I have to take this, wait” (she explained after the fact who it was and why she was expecting it, on the moment it was really unexpected for me).
The call lasted around 30 minutes and we were both sitting naked on the bed, her talking about something serious to her mom and me just awkwardly there with my now flaccid penis hidden in a cold and wet condom.
After she was done, it was clear for both of us that the mood was gone but she told me “you should have finished without me”. Yeah, I would have felt really weird jerking off right next to her while she was on the phone with her mom…


pantyscrambler:
She slapped my ass and said “who’s pussy is this?” It was our first time and I wasn’t sure if it was hers or mine, so I ignored her. She did it again but this time she pinched my nipples and screamed “Answer me!!!” Having a 50/50 chance I said it was my pussy. Afterwards she says that’s right, it’s your pussy. Don’t forget it. 7 years later, it’s STILL my pussy, lol.

Team Giphy happy excited pleased stoked

 

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