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Piss Broke And Prosper: 8 Ways To Micro-Live Your Way Comfortably Through Tough Times

 

Hard times fall on us all in one way or another from time to time. No cause for alarm, but if you’re feeling piss broke and out of ideas, you can still prosper if you micro-live your way comfortably through the tough times of your penniless fog. And we’ll show you how.

Some of the happiest people in this world have very little and make little money, which is proof alone that a lot of the best things in life are free. Many folks have foregone the American dream of owning a home and have resorted to micro-living and minimalism. Others buy land and set up airstreams. And your mother probably still cuts coupons out of the Sunday paper.

Everybody has their way, but if you haven’t found yours, maybe these 8 ways to micro-live your way comfortably through tough times are just what you need. It’s also never too late to move back in with your folks (yes, it is).

 

Cash Only

It’s easy swiping the card, maybe not so much inserting the chip, but both are a hell of a lot less painful than dolling out cold hard cash. You feel your expenses more when it’s real. Try living the way you live with just cash and see if you cringe a bit and save a lot.

 

 

Bring Back the Proverbial Piggybank

The rainy day squirrel fund is a good way to save for important things or trips without racking up a big credit card bill. Layaway is also a smart move compared to swiping, yet again. Or just get your mother to send you your old piggybank, you big pansy.

 

Drive Yourself, Lazy Boy

Yeah, that’s not admission to start drunk driving again, but maybe we’ve gotten a little lazy with their taxi apps. I saw my neighbor take one to get his mail. Out of control. It’s OK to bike sometimes, too, or even, heck, use your two fucking god-given feet and walk.

 

Take What Is Offered by Strangers

We feel sheepish accepting a glass of fresh lemonade on a hot day from our friends’ mothers, even though we’d love a fucking glass of fresh lemonade. But it’s polite to decline such offers, except when it’s free soap in a hotel, sugar packets at the coffee shop or ketchup at In N Out. Hey, you paid the admission fee for coffee, no reason you can’t stuff those pockets with an extra packet or six. Every little bit helps, right? Of course you’ll look like an idiot if anyone catches on.

 

Let’s Cook

Quit ordering so much delivery on your food apps and being so goddamn lazy. Uber Eats charges for delivery what you could buy a week’s worth of sandwich accoutrements for.

 

Shit Where You Work

Basically, we’re saying live on the houseboat you clean for a living. Don’t actually shit where you work, you’ll contract something (or cause someone else to, most likely). Actually, you’ll save on toilet paper. Go for it!

 

Food Truck Date Nights

Why sit in a stuffy, overpriced restaurant when you could do the Entourage style walk and talk while you stuff your face? Food trucks are hip so that makes you look a little more cool than you probably are, and if the date sucks, just keep walking in the direction of your car.

 

Cut The Cable

…And the Cosby, while you’re at it. We’ve said it a million times: Nobody needs cable anymore. But you also don’t need every streaming service. Just get the best one, dummy. Fun fact: If you’re holding out for The Cosby Show, you could be waiting awhile.

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