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‘Pokémoan’ Dildos – You Knew They Were Coming (Pun Intended)

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Are you intrigued by bestiality but not quite ready to take the leap? Pokémoan dildos are the next best thing! For just 68 Australian dollars you can enjoy a sensual night with some of the cutest Pokémon of all time – Bulbasaur, Squirtle, Charmander and, of course, motherfucking Pikachu (yup, that’s a pun).

The “100% skin safe silicone” toys are produced by Geeky Sex Toys and are available for purchase on Australia’s Etsy site. Each dildo is customized according to their corresponding Pokémon, meaning they differ not only in aesthetic, but length and width measurements as well.

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Here’s a description of each Pokémoan dildo found on Etsy:

‘Bulby’ – A grass type Pokémoan. Bulby has a large seed tip making it a very pleasurable friend to have. It’s seed is 5cm wide and 4cm tall and its body is 16cm tall and 3.5cm wide.

‘Charmy’ – A slightly thinner, fire type Pokémoan with a flaming tail. Standing 18cm tall and 4cm wide at its widest point Charmy gives intense orgasms everywhere it goes.

‘Squirty’ – A water Pokémoan. Squirty has a smooth round head with a large grooved turtle shell on its back. Its bubbly head measures 4cm wide whilst his body measures 6cm wide and 14cm tall.

‘Piky’ – This small electric type anal Pokémoan is a perfect size for the average Pokémoan trainer. Piky is an extremely cute yet essential addition to your team. Its insertable size is 2.5cm wide by 4cm tall and his tail is 8cm long.

Pikachu! You dirty, dirty boy.

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For those who can only be satisfied once they’re a Pokémoan master, there’s a limited edition collector’s set available for a reasonable AU$271.90. Gotta catch ‘em all, right? And you best hurry – there’s only 50 left.

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