These Are The ‘Sexy’ Moves Your Girlfriend Hates

Unfortunately for their female partners, many young men these days learn what to do in the bedroom by watching pornography. Let’s be clear about this right off the bat: Porn is not real sex. What looks like a great idea on video may not translate well into a real-life sexual encounter with your girlfriend.

There are some common porn moves you should never use in real life, and we’ve decided it’s time we let you know what they were — just in case you get any bright ideas later on tonight.

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A.T.M.

A.T.M., or “Ass To Mouth,” is a practice wherein a male porn star has anal sex with his partner and then, immediately after, puts his penis in her mouth. It should not be hard to understand why this shouldn’t happen in real life. Rimming is one thing, but even with thorough anal douching, there’s still likely to be bacteria on your penis that she doesn’t want in her mouth — which could lead to serious illness or even death. So… don’t do it.

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Pornography is designed to tap into your sexual fantasies, but not all fantasies should be reenacted in real life. If your girl is exceptionally sexually adventurous, she may be up for some or all of the above porn-star moves, but at the end of the day, if she isn’t, then that’s the end of the story. Don’t pressure her to try things out just because you’ve seen them in porn — if she’s worried something will hurt, or gross her out, or just be unpleasant, you have to respect that. You wouldn’t want her to pressure you to enact things you weren’t into, would you? Good sex can and should involve experimentation, but making sure people’s boundaries are respected should be first on your to-do list when doing the deed.

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No Prep Anal

In pornography, anal sex is not an unusual occurrence. In fact, it’s hard to find a video these days that doesn’t have at least one anal scene. Anal stimulation can be quite pleasurable, but the way porn stars do it is a porn move you should never use in real life. You can’t just spit on your c*ck and go straight in. Porn actors are able to do this because porn actresses have stretched-out anal sphincters. It’s also pretty likely that liberal amounts of lube are applied off-screen between shots. To begin anal sex with a real girl,  you’ll need plenty of lubrication, time and care — that means a slow build-up, ideally starting with things smaller than a penis. If you attempt to stuff your dick in her anus without consent, it’ll be more than just a painful non-starter — it would also qualify as sexual assault.

4

Deep Throat

Porn actors like to get their entire penises as far down the throats of their costars as they possibly can. The trend gained popularity with the 1972 classic Deep Throat. In that infamous piece of porn history, the main female character discovered that her clitoris was at the back of her throat, making her a medical anomaly and the most enthusiastic fellatio performer in the world. Unfortunately, nonfictional women’s clitorises are located on the pubic mound, not in the throat, so deep-throating is not high on the list of things they love to do. If a deep-throat blow job is what you’re after, you must talk this over with your girl first. Shoving your d*ck unexpectedly down her throat will result be extremely painful and unpleasant for her — just imagine someone doing the same to you. Porn stars often gag their partners on purpose, but it’s safe to say that doing that to your partner will leave her seriously pissed off and hurt.

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The Piledriver

The Piledriver is a sexual position named after a wrestling move, which should be your first clue that it a position best left to professionals. The Piledriver is performed by the woman dropping herself headfirst off the edge of the bed/couch, then supporting herself on the ground on her neck and shoulders, with her feet up in the air. The man then stands over her and, pointing his penis down, enters her. This position cannot in any way, shape or form, be remotely comfortable for the woman and it’s probably not the best for you either. Not many men have penises that naturally bend that way, and one wrong thrust could result in some serious pain in a very sensitive area.

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The Facial

In porn movies, the most important scene is the one that contains the “money shot.” The moviemakers know their viewers want to see the moment, and they usually want to see it all over the woman’s back, butt, chest or face. First of all, you should never, ever ejaculate on your partner without giving her prior warning — especially not on her face, since it could get in her eyes. Not pleasant. Not to mention it takes forever to get it out of her hair, so be considerate and make sure this is a porn move you don’t use in real life.

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The Dick Slap

Male porn stars seem to have a compulsive need to slap their members against things. One possible explanation for the porn actor grabbing his shaft and banging it against a woman’s butt, breasts or face is that it helps him stay hard; essentially, acting as his own “fluffer” during the scene. Perhaps it could also be a method of degrading his partner by slapping her in the face with his powerful man member. No matter the reasoning behind it, this is a porn move you should never use in real life — at least not without due warning and the right partner. If you’re having trouble staying hard, give yourself a few strokes with your hand or, better yet, ask her to help you out. Don’t use it to slap her.

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