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Making-a-Murderer

[Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from comedian Theo Von, check out his Netflix special “No Offense”which will debut in February, his weekly podcast “Allegedly” and follow him on Twitter @TheoVon.]

Making a Murderer is the hottest thing on Netflix right now and the hottest thing buzzed about online… but who is the hottest person in Making a Murderer you ask? Great question. The debate that has almost ruined thousands of friendships can now be put to rest, with this, the definitive list of the Top 10 Most Attractive People in Making a Murderer.

Sure judging people by their looks while your eyes are tearing up from crooked justice isn’t easy, but it had to be done. Get ready to be the king of your next tv dinner party. You’re welcome.

10. The Smoking Girl
Smoker

Lean. Ginger. Winter cute. You pretty much just see her smoking in different scenes. She also drinks Mountain Dew.

9. Richard Mahler
Juror

The Steven Avery juror, who was dismissed from the jury (allegedly because his wife demanded he come home), doesn’t appear until episode nine of Making a Murderer. He is tall and has all his hair and has a landlocked beach bum Jack Kerouac thing going. Would make a good soil or nature model. That’s enough to get him the number 9 spot.

8. Steven Avery
averyyyy
Though he often resembles an otter with curious, and probably innocent, blue eyes, Steven Avery doesn’t seem like a hottie at all, UNTIL we catch this courtroom glimpse of him at 6:20 in the finale episode. This stylish fratboy do is so Robert Redford. Whoever is doing his hair in prison, STAY WITH THEM STEVEN.

7. Barb Janda (Brendan Dassey’s Mother)

Janda
Barb is seen here in episode four in what was probably the most stylish blouse in the whole documentary. This rural blond is a real looker, but it’s her heartfelt phone chats with her incarcerated son, Brendan, that show she is the complete package.

Barb can also do her hair straight.

6. Jodi Stachowski
Jodi 1
She has this whole “female Brett Michaels” thing about her that has all the men’s roots hard. It was heartbreaking to see that her love with Steven didn’t hold up, but UPDATE she is currently listed as single on her Facebook page.

Jodi today…
Jodi S

5. Dean Strang
pic4
A modern day Atticus Finch, this sweet gent proves that SMART IS SEXY. By the end of this film even straight men can’t help but want to bone this lighthouse of good sense, even though he seems like he probably doesn’t talk during sex, or if he does its totes in courtroom style “Who’s your Daddy? Can you please state for the court who your Daddy is?”

4. Stephanie Van Groll
Stephanie
Though she doesn’t rear her head until the final episode as the victim of Calumet County D.A. Ken Kratz’s dirty texts, Stephanie Van Groll has the girl next door vibe that every man covets.

3. Ryan Hillegas
Ryan Hillegas
Teresa Halbach’s ex is a paler Lance Armstrong, with a beady sexy look in his eyes. He kinda has that Punxsutawney Phil thing happening. And let’s be honest, the theory that he ‘may have done it’ makes him even hotter.

Ryan today…
Ryan 2

Oh no! That deer’s life may be in danger. So hot.
2. Aaron Keller
Heller
Wayyy too good looking for this documentary. And for the state of Wisconsin in general.

The “Silver Fox” Aaron Keller takes the cake! Keller, worked at NBC26 in Green Bay from 2004 to 2007. After stops at other TV stations, he went on to get his law degree and he’s now an English/Communications professor at NHTI, Concord’s Community College in New Hampshire. I bet a lot of Wisconsin inmates would have much rather have this slice of sex show up in prison than Avery or Dassey.

1. Angenette Levy
Levy 2
With striking looks and striking questions, Angenette Levy made a lot of men pause their binge watching to ‘deliberate’ themselves. The no-BS journalist was a general assignment reporter at Green Bay’s WFRV-TV from 2004 to 2010. She’s been at WKRC-TV in Cincinnati since leaving Wisconsin. She is the HOTTEST PERSON in Making a Murderer.

But if any of you bros are looking to score a date with Angenette you better make your move soon:

Angenette Today
Levy

But if you’re interested in scoring a date with Angenette, better make your move…
Angenette-Levy

Source

Ranking The 10 Most Attractive People In ‘Making A Murderer’ Because, By God, Someone Had To Do It

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