The other day we shared some scary stories from prisoners and their experiences behind bars. And while those stories were pretty awful these tales people told on Reddit about the worst sex that they have ever had might be as equally as frightening.
Get ready to cringe…
Was having sex, she was riding cowgirl with lots of bouncing. Perhaps I zigged when I should have zagged. Long story short my boner got right angled. I had an ugly purple-ish golf ball sized knot off the side of my dick for about 3 days. Then when the swelling went down, the bruising started to spread out…right down too my balls. My balls didnt hurt, but they were an ugly color. Only time in my life I googled “broken penis.”
TL;DR : Dont get your dick bent. ~ AutonomyForbidden
I met a guy on eHarmony. After our second date, we went to his apartment to, basically, get drunk and have sex. He goes down on me and after a few minutes, I end up in excruciating pain. I look down and see blood everywhere. He bit off a piece of my fucking vagina. ~ Fuckthatkitkat
Farted in a 69 with an obese girl, left and fell down the stairs and ended up in hospital. ~Puretrickery
With my ex bf. I’m a pretty small person (5’0 and 95lbs) and he is big, plus had gained weight (6’3 and 250lbs). He was on top of me and refusing to use his arms to support his upper body, causing him to rest his entire chest weight on me. I kept telling him to prop himself up, but he kept saying his arms were tired. I was basically suffocating. I started wheezing very loudly and needed my emergency inhaler. To make things worse, he got mad at me for “ruining the moment”
TLDR: Fat bf gives me asthma attack. ~ lacy_tealeaves
He came instantly, left the room and didn’t talk to me (out of embarrassment) for two weeks after. ~ eelsify
My girlfriend was going down on me after drinking orange juice. She took it a little too deep and puked, forcing a unique bile/OJ mixture into my urethra. 0/10, would not recommend. ~kendrickshalamar
Sex with my then-girlfriend behind a Tinny (small metal boat), on the beach whilst camping with our families 100 meters away. Sand + sex = pain. ~ South_east_beast
Oral on a woman, unexpected diarrhea, explosive orgasm, you do the math. (Please, for the love of all that’s holy, don’t show your work.) ~ areyou_
I’d dated this guy for a few weeks. Then came sex time. We were naked and making out, then I moved to go down on him. His crotch smelled very strong of cologne, and never dealing with it before, I started sucking him. It was cologne, and a lot of it. My mouth was full of it, my eyes & nose started to burn, and I started throwing up. I couldn’t get that taste out of my mouth and off my face for days. It was Drakkar Noir.
Guys, don’t ever fucking do that. ~ seventyteen
I had a girl tell me “I am the Michael Phelps if blowjobs.” She was not. ~ PM_ME_UR_BOOOOTY
Was banging a girl in the back seat, it’s good times, cars rocking, windows steamed. She’s cumming and then I start cumming so I grab her by the hips and clamp down and drive in, guess my thumbs were on her bladder cause she straight up pisses on me. And lo, at that moment a cop knocks on the window. She freaks and tries to jump off and I take a knee in my freshly drained balls. So now I got a cop laughing at me, piss in my back seat, and shattered balls.
Cop was all “just go, you’ve been punished enough.” ~ baconhooker
My long-time GF dumped me about 10 years ago. I was extremely miserable and lonely. Got drunk, picked up an ugly hooker with smelly armpits and for no other reason than self-destruction went down on her. Puked in bathroom sink afterwards. 10/10 don’t recommend. ~ bosnuk
Met this girl at a low key house party, after a few drinks she leads me upstairs for some privacy. Went into a bedroom, super dark except for a night light on in the bathroom. Got her undressed, picked her up and laid her down on the bed. Someone moans…wasn’t her or me. We grab our clothes and book back downstairs. We were in the Host’s great grandfathers room. My first and last threesome. ~ Grizzly_treats
Found some white creature that was alive inside girl’s vagina after I’d been going down on her. 🙁~ Maccas75
Well… I think all of that might explain some of the bizarre answers we saw the other day when people were asked “What do you think about sex?”
Check out the rest of the sad stories of sex over including some we literally couldn’t share here over atReddit.
Redditors Reveal – 14 Stories About The Worst Sex People Ever Had Will Make Your Love Life Seem Amazing