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REDDITORS REVEAL – The Most F*cked Up Roommate And Neighbor Stories You Will Ever Read

REDDITORS REVEAL – The Most F*cked Up Roommate And Neighbor Stories You Will Ever Read

If you’ve ever had a bad roommate or an awful neighbor then you know how awful they can make your life. That being said, there’s a pretty good chance that these people who answered the “Ask Reddit” question asking for their worst roommate/neighbor stories had it worse than you or I EVER have.

However, if you think you can top these, by all means please do let us know in the comments because we’re always up for more stories of people being horrific douchebags and weirdos.

During college I lived with a girl who was a serious outdoorsy type. She shot squirrels in the woods with her bow and arrow, brought them home and made them into stew. Her friend would send her boxes of dead beetles from Thailand for her to dissect. She owned a cloak, unironically.

One morning I attempted to exit my room and found the entire downstairs covered in a tarp. On the tarp, she had a roadkilled coyote opened up wide while she gutted it and removed the hide. The tarp leaked and there was blood on the carpet for the rest of the year. ~emergences

 

My now-wife, back when we first started dating, lived with a girl that she didn’t know very well prior to moving in with her. At first she seemed just a little quirky, but then it devolved into craziness. My wife and I ended up U-hauling pretty quick just to get her out of that situation.

She read Harry Potter erotica in the living room while we were watching TV, which I wouldn’t mind if she didn’t keep interrupting our show to let us know what was going on in the fanfic she was reading. She watched Twilight CONSTANTLY too, it was constantly playing unless we commandeered the TV. She had the larger bedroom with a TV in it, but insisted on sitting in the living room with us.

She went to the strip club every Friday and would come home crying about how alone she was, and how broke she was. Most of her friends were otherkin with names like ‘Shadow’ who would keep trying to sleep with her, or us. She had an insane Siamese cat that attacked everyone and she kept it’s litter box in her bedroom, kept her bedroom door closed and never cleaned it.

She had a ton of fairy statues that she was convinced came to life every night and did stuff like pull her cat’s tail or knock a glass over. My wife had a book that was ‘pressings’ of fairies and it made her cry. She was 23 at the time. She was constantly burning weird herbs to try and keep the spirits away, so the apartment smelled like a mixture of cat piss and smoke.

Also she kept trying to walk in on us having sex. ~ Batsignal_on_mars

I was in a 2 bed house in East London. My housemate used to always tell me that she heard footsteps in our attic above her bed and sometimes whistling. I brushed it off as her just being silly until one day I heard them as I came out of the shower. A few days later, I come home from work to find a riot van outside our house. Turns out our neighbours actually bore a hole in the wall of their attic to go into ours and grow weed and hang out there. They were super creepy so was kinda glad we never went up there. ~ dimafelix

 

Neighbours a few years back would do nothing but sit on their front lawn, smoke weed and steal my Amazon packages. I got everything back after they’d open them, realise they were books and none of them could read. ~ chosenamewhendrunk

 

I’m a girl and lived with 3 boys for about a year. One was in a serious relationship, one was my boyfriend, and one was my boyfriends cousin. We were all 19-22. I’m just going to say living with boys if you’re the only girl in the house is a terrible decision. One night we were all drinking and at about 4 a.m. we decided to go to bed.

Well, the cousin decided to tell me my boyfriend had cheated with some girl who was at our house for the party, the friend got in a fight with his girlfriend over a different girl being there, and my boyfriend was screaming at his cousin for telling me he cheated. At some point, I decided to just say fuck it and make a burrito. At like 5 in the morning, the friends girlfriend calls me and asks me to see if she left something in the bathroom. Well this house was made by a dumb ass and the only way to the bathroom was through her boyfriends room, so drunk me walks in to her boyfriends room and he is completely spread eagle on the bed facing the door and the girl that girlfriend was mad about was naked and putting body paint on his asshole. We all froze. I was still holding the phone and was just like, “hey friend…you’re girlfriend wants to talk to you,” and he just looked at me with the most confused look.

I have no idea how we got out of that with our friendships intact, but we did. Also, same night my boyfriend and his friend found boxing gloves and decided to hit each other as hard as they could. One ended up with 2 teeth missing and the other broke a finger. Started as a joke, ended up a real fight.

Also, the cousin was in the front room which didn’t have a door so he hung a curtain. He worked nights so I let his dog out when I got home from my day. Well, today I guess he called in because I walked in to him laying on his bed naked and had a girl dressed up in a cheetah costume and a scary clown mask shaving his genitalia.

Just to wrap, my boyfriend had cheated on me and I ended up pushing him out of one of the windows in the kitchen.

Two weeks later the house burned down and I lost everything from a terrible time in my life. It’s been 2 years since all that and I am much farther in my life than I ever thought I would be. So, yeah. ~ Onegeneric101

 

 

I guess I’m the fucked up roommate here, but I put a tracking device in my roommate’s backpack so that I can check his location and know when its safe to masturbate. ~richardgoochington

I used to work as a night shift ER clerk in a military hospital. My wife and I being newlyweds, the best place we could afford in town was a trailer in a small trailer park near base, and a lot of the other people there were also military.

For the most part, the area was quiet. It was in the south, and about the worst we had to worry about was raccoons or alligators getting in the trash. One night I’m working, playing games on the computer trying to pass the time, when a couple comes in and I immediately recognize them as one of my neighbors. She’s the AD member, not sure what he does for work.

Complaint was she “cut her arm”, and she was holding a bunch of paper towels to her arm. All of a sudden, she pulls the towels away and she’s missing a baseball sized chunk of skin from her forearm, and he says “you’re not going to say anything about this, right?” I honestly wasn’t even suspicious of anything until he opened his mouth. He got arrested not long after, not sure what for but I think it’s easy to guess. I just happened to see him being taken away when I left for work one night. ~ Veloreyn

 

Not me personally but one of my friends had a roommate who he kicked out because he was collecting his piss in literally hundreds of containers. ~ max-peck

 

Our neighbor shot several neighborhood animals, including our dog and cat.

I was a freshman or sophomore in high school, living with my parents in a nice neighborhood (big, fenced lots, wooded areas all around) in Washington State. We didn’t have issues with surrounding neighbors, no issues with crime that we knew of, etc.

Our neighbor had her boyfriend living with her and her 2 children at the end of the road, where the road was a dead end and turned into dirt and woods (3 houses from ours). We never had issues with them, and rarely saw the adults in the household.

A neighbor that lived two houses down from them found a dead husky in their front yard, but there were not obvious wounds, and I don’t think it belonged to anyone on our street.

One day my brother was out in the yard playing with our mastiff-boxer/pit mix (super sweet dog, HUGE dog), who was only about a year old, and the dog decided to run down the street towards the woods. My brother was calling the dog but the dog disappeared for several minutes. When the dog reappeared, he was running back to my brother in the street (from the wooded, dead end area) but collapsed about half way to my brother. There were no visible wounds, even on a short hair dog, but it was obvious he didn’t have enough oxygen. My parents rushed him to a nearby vet where x-rays showed he had a .22 caliber bullet lodged between the two main arteries of his heart, and his lung was collapsed. He survived – although, he never really mentally matured beyond 1 year old.

A few months later – my cat disappears. He often went into the woods to hunt at the end of the road. Neighbors behind us later told us they heard a cat crying in the woods one evening.?

Anyway….we had our suspicions. This guy came up to me one day when I was out with friends on the street and said, “You know, in California, if an animal wanders onto your property, you can shoot it.” I looked at him and said, “Yeah, you psycho, this isn’t California.”

The Sheriff’s Department tried to investigate, but did not turn up with anything until several years later (we were long gone out of the neighborhood) when someone SAW him shoot someone’s dog. This was after at least one more dog was found dead on the street.

He was shooting dogs with a .22 caliber with a silencer attached. I don’t believe he legally owned either.

Good part of the story, however, is that he went to jail and his girlfriend put her house up as bail….then he skipped town. So the story goes. ~ tersick

 

My wife had this crazy girl as a college roommate. Her name was Queena and the living situation lasted one half of one semester. Queena wet the bed a LOT and every time she did she woke up my wife to tell her about it, she also drank a half bottle of floor cleaner while sleepwalking. ~ StarFoxN64

My house mate didn’t own a bed for a few weeks (uni student), so he slept on top of a pile of carefully folded towels and clothes. I came home early one day and found him angrily fucking his girlfriend on my couch. They didnt lay down a towel before hand, and they were doing anal… there were lots of stains… and smells. ~ Jake_The_Muss_Heke

 

My upstairs neighbor (from when we moved in, she’s dead now) was a crazy bitch. Here’s a short list of her best moments :

— Her husband didn’t own a key to their apartment. She would enter first with their 2 kids and he would wait outside for 10-15 minutes, at which point she would yell for him to come in. What she did during those 15 minutes, I’ll never know.

— She would lie down on the balcony that lead to our backyard, behind her tomato plants, so she could listen to our conversations because she was convinced we were plotting against her.

— She called the police on a 10 year old girl because she wouldn’t play with her daughter.

— Her husband sat in his staircase and video recorded everyone who came into our house (again, because she was convinced we were plotting against her)

— She got a restraining order against my dad because he “assaulted her husband” (he did not) and she claimed she was terrified and traumatized by my dad. Then they moved… 2 streets away. Not even far enough by the restraining order’s standards (~100 meters)

— She video recorded my dad coming back home from work in his truck (expect it was actually my mom driving and my dad wasn’t in the truck) and called the police saying my dad was harassing her.

I think that’s the big highlights but I’m sure I have more I could think of. ~ IronyKitty

 

I live in a city and my neighbor slashed my tire for parking in a spot that he apparently wanted to park in one time. I couldn’t move my car for a few days afterwards because I was waiting for a family member to mount my new tire so I don’t think he really thought that one through. ~kaelxv

Oh boy. I had a roommate for 9 months in college who I didn’t know very well before moving in with. He was the boyfriend of my girlfriends best friend, and I figured he was chill since we both were students and blazed a bit.

I would wake up to the smell of cigarettes every day. He refused to go outside and smoke during the winter. He smoked two packs a day.

Eventually, he starts nodding out every night on the couch… sometimes with a lit cigarette in his hand. He burned some holes in his couch doing this.

One month, he “borrowed” my rent money from my bedroom then “lost it” while skating. I threatened to call the cops and his mom had to write me a check.

I came back from winter break and he had bought a cat. He left the morning after I came back and asked me to feed the cat while he was gone. He didn’t come back for two months because he got locked up. He didn’t leave any cat food.

I came home from spring break and there was blood spatter on our living room ceiling.

I went into his room once to grab my dishes that he was keeping in there, and noticed there were spoons in his garbage can. There was some shit caked onto the spoons. There were syringes next to the spoons. I noped the fuck out of there. Moved out within the week and took the cat.

Fuck that guy. Still owes me $250. ~ howmuchforthissquirr

 

Me: I’m moving out.

Roommates: Good, because we have been using the rent money you’ve given us for months to buy drugs and we are being evicted. ~ splorf

 

 

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One reply on “REDDITORS REVEAL – The Most F*cked Up Roommate And Neighbor Stories You Will Ever Read”

I had the ‘always naked’ roommate. In front of my parents, friends, and door salesmen naked. It was irritating.

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