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Everyone carries a secret with them. Perhaps you’re walking through the world with the knowledge that your brother once pissed in the orange juice at your cousin’s house because they forgot to feed his Tamagotchi while your family was at Disney World. Or mayhaps it’s something a bit more severe, like the guy below whose boss blacked out and told him that he’d once murdered a man and buried the body, and belabored on about how difficult it is to bury a body. Secrets!

In today’s latest edition of ‘the world is burning’ people have shared their juiciest secrets over on AskReddit in a thread asking people to do just that. The responses range from people knowing about serious infidelity to secret family recipes, and of course there’s the one about murder that I mentioned above. Anyways, I don’t want to spoil too much. So get to scrolling!


LazzzyButtons:

I caught my mom having sex with our neighbor when I was 14 years old. My dad admitted to me (when he was drunk) that while he was in Vietnam he had sex with a prostitute, while he was recently married to my mom.
I haven’t told either of my parents that I know this information. Nor will I ever.
I think both my parents know this about each other, but they don’t admit their indiscretions. They’ve be married for over 45 years. Still. And I love both my parents.


zidanee:

My last birthday party consisted of a bonfire and beers in my backyard. My boss stuck around real late after everyone left and we talked most of the night.
He was so drunk i don’t think he remembers telling me that his sister was raped and he found the guy and killed him. He even laughed about how hard it was to bury a body
I’ve never respected/feared a man so much in my life


Peter__Sparker:

Two people that deployed with me, a man and a woman, began hooking up on the regular while in Iraq. The woman got pregnant and sent home after she started to show. They are both married to other people. Her husband thinks the baby is his.


glencocobutter:

Our close friend has a 19 year old daughter that he doesn’t know about. We found out through the daughter herself. She wants to tell him but just doesn’t know how.


TOXRA:

A good friend of mine is good friends with several top-tier NFL players. I’ve heard about season ending injuries a couple of times hours or days ahead of ESPN. I don’t give a shit about fantasy football, so it’s never been terribly useful.


Seriously, who in the fuck takes a McDonald’s meal as a bribe?!?!?!?!?!

ellosmello:

That one of the newer managers is fucking the head manager at the McDonald’s I work at just so she can maintain her position. She has a boyfriend and he has a wife and 2 kids…. It makes it even worse that I walked in on them in the bathroom at work, doing the dirty and was givin a free meal and swore never to tell….. Edit: I fucking panicked boys and accepted the free meal…. I cant back out now. Edit 2: the cunts even gave me a dirty look when I wanted a large 10 nugget meal with a chocolate frappe when I could have instantly ruined both of their lives…..


thewitt33:

I thought my dad was one person until I was 12. Found out my mom banged a married guy, got pregnant with me, then married another guy who thought I was his. At age 12 they told me. To this day, my real father knows, but his entire family does not. I have a sister and brother from him that doesn’t know. He is rich and well to do and in politics. Not sure if his wife knows but it would cause big issues probably if it were known. His kids (my half sister and brother) are grown up adults now but it would shock their family to know I am kind of one of them!


MrsRoseyCrotch:

My friend got a tummy tuck but because of how her skin had sagged from her pregnancies, they had to pull her skin up to do the tuck rather than down.
End result? She’s got pubes up to her belly button.


VenomousLizardDemons:

A relative of mine got out of a DUI by pretending to be another relative who has diplomatic immunity.
*No, I’m not related to a Saudi Prince. They worked for the UN, I can’t really get more specific than that without identifying them. This also happened before the internet was widespread so it wouldn’t have been easy to check on the spot, which is how they got away with it.


throwaway-_obviously:

Throwaway, obviously. A friend of mine was playing a prank and killed two people. He and two of his friends were driving at night on the highway. He was in the passenger seat and his friend was driving, third guy was sleeping in the backseat. He was bored and thought it would be funny to grab the wheel and jerk it to the side. They crashed, of course. The driver died at the scene and and the other friend, who was sleeping in the back seat, died at the hospital. Passenger guy was the only one wearing a seatbelt, and wasn’t really injured to speak of. To my knowledge I’m the only other one who knows it wasn’t an accident. I’ve been wanting to get this off my chest for years.


madkiwitwo:

8 of us girls spent a fun weekend in London. One cheated and had a fling with a guy and 9 months later she had a baby. The baby is 10 years old now and looks like the London guy, I don’t think her husband nor the Londoner knows the truth. I think about it every time she posts a pic of the kid on Facebook.


skeptichectic:

I know a major celebrity that ‘degloved’ his own penis with a pair of scissors and got placed under mental health care.


openupmyheartagain:

My cousin cheated on his first wife at an orgy. He then started an affair with a coworker who was also married and they ended up divorcing their spouses and marrying each other after awhile. His whole family cut out his first wife, despite the fact that she was a sweet awesome woman and the mom of his two kids. My family sucks.

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REDDITORS REVEAL – Their Juiciest Secrets And I’d Like To Know Which One Of You Killed A Guy

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