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REDDITORS REVEAL – Stories Of The Weirdest Things They’ve Ever Done With Their Dongs…That Poor Cat…

 

 

This one’s pretty straightforward. A random denizen of the Internet posed the question ‘What is the weirdest thing you’ve done with your penis?’ and over 4,400 people responded, sharing their most WTF stories. I don’t want to spoil anything here but I will say that these aren’t necessarily the extremely disgusting stories that your mind is imagining, most of them are actually quite humorous even if there’s a handful of head scratchers in there…To be fair though, these stories involved penises and some of them are mildly NSFW, and I think that you should at least know what you’re getting into when reading these. So let’s get to the stories, shall we?


FoxyGrampa:
One time after I boned my girlfriend, I walked out to get a glass of water. As I passed my couch my cat swats at me and grazes my sack.
So I bopped him on top his head with my half-chub to assert dominance
Probably that.


pop_tart:
My girlfriend at the time said she was hungry late at night and I asked if she wanted a hot dog. Went to the fridge, put my dick in a bun, put mustard on it, and walked bare assed back to my room and said, “here ya go.” She thought it was hilarious. I’m just glad my roommates didn’t happen to come downstairs and see me putting mustard on my dick illuminated by the gentle glow of the open fridge.
She didn’t eat it.


Gotmilk3029:
Not me, but my gf loves to hold it like a microphone and tap it while saying:
“Is this thing on?”
And proceeding into a whole bad joke stand up routine.


reddituser_2016:


Surprised no-one has said this yet, at least not that I can see.
Use it as a gearshift and make car noises and pretend that you’re racing.


conehead88:
Put it in a kettle. Then got really depressed and questioned my life choices. Then later i was in the store i origionally bought the kettle and saw there was a sign saying it had a fault and they were being recalled in, so i took it back, got the money and bought assassins creed 2 haha


Disco-tee:
My girlfriend rubbed it on her shaved head during a blowjob and had me finish on her scalp.


vandancouver:
My buddy in the sixth grade told me his story. Everyone remembers how fun it is to put glue on your hand, and peel it off? He multiplied the fun by putting it on his dick. And then, to multiply that fun by 10x, he used superglue. Long story short, he had to have his mom poke holes in the peehole just so he could take a leak. He said it shot in multiple streams.


mattrmac:
Had a girl tell me to force her head down while giving me head… she said tears are fine…. she wanted to practice her gag reflex. Weird part is I got harder because it was sadistic and kinda turned me on….


minnick27:
It farted. I had a scope procedure done and afterwords you go in the bathroom to pee and as i was finishing up it just farted. I’m guessing it had something to do with the lube that was also coming out.


CousinTheKiller:


A few years ago my best friend had those giant holes in the lobes of his ears. He said it “made him look cool”. Another friend thought I couldn’t fit my penis through it ear hole and we bet 50 bucks.
Put that image in your head.


RSN_Romuva:
Tried to see how many full size bath towels I could hold on it
EDIT: Guys it was 4 and my dick almost snapped so I would not recommend,


IndianaGnomes:
After we were done and it was in a relaxed state, had an ex that thought it was hilarious to shake it as if it were head banging and say “righteous!” in a voice that I guess was supposed to be that of my penis.


organic_crystal_meth:
I had to pull a tick of the head of mine once. That was pretty weird


stur0063:


When I was about 10 I put acetone on my junk. Seems weird. Made sense though – as I wanted to remove the smiley face painted on with nail polish. 11 out of 10 would NOT recommend.


hikermick:
Got it caught in a zipper while drunk. Now I always wear underwear.


And last but not least, the craziest one of them all:

Pyehole:
I created another human being. Two of them actually. Fucking amazing what that thing can do.


 

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