A bunch of ladies shared the most common mistakes that men are making in bed and if what I’m reading is correct then most men are making very bad (and easily correctible) mistakes that are completely ruining sexy time. Chances are that when you scroll through the responses below you’ll find that you’ve made one or more of these mistakes throughout your life. It’s cool though, because if you like having good sex you can make the requisite changes now and move on with your life.

These responses all came from a wildly popular AskReddit thread titled ‘What are the most common mistakes guys make in bed?’ which brought in over 5,000 responses. Below I’ve pulled the top mistakes and shared them with you, but if you want to read the full thread then you can follow the links below.

Take notes.

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger?


When we say, “Oh god yes, just like that!” We mean it. We don’t mean double-down, twice as fast, harder, etc. We mean JUST.LIKE.THAT.

Mind The Mammaries


Please do not ignore my boobs. The nipples are two little magic buttons that will work wonders for you if you actually pay attention to them.
You can’t go down on me for two minutes and expect an orgasm to magically appear. Those things take work, and they don’t always come for me, so if you’re gonna go down there with your tongue, you better be ready to take your sweet time. (And if you don’t wanna give me more than a minute of your attention down there, then you better not expect me to blow you for more than a minute.)
I’m cool with trying out butt stuff, but you have to respect my limits and let me decide what’s too much for me. Communication is absolutely paramount when you’re starting out with anal play – communication and a lot of lube. Also, it usually makes me feel like something’s going to come OUT (not sure if that’s normal but that’s normal for me) so when I make you stop because I’m afraid I’m going to shit on your dick, you better actually stop and give me time to adjust.

Clip Your Fingernails


Jamming fingers in and out of my pussy… And the kinds of guys that do it always seem to think 5 seconds of kissing is enough to get me wet.
Seriously, no one likes the feeling of a tiny thin dick with fingernails on the end ramming in and out of a dry pussy.


What you see in porn is usually not what women want. Jamming your dick in her after two kisses and a couple of boob “honks” is just not going to do it. No motorboating (do any women actually like this? Seriously?). I’ve had men motorboat my boobs and my pussy, like what the hell? No!

Slow And Steady Wins The Butt


Pulling out anal beads like you’re starting a fucking lawn mower.

related story:


Heard this story at work. Guy was getting with this girl. Hears she’s kinda kinky so he’s down. She says she likes butt stuff, but not her butt, his butt. He shrugs it off whatever, sex is sex. So she’s putting anal beads in his butt, there’s a bunch in there. Then she asks “Have you ever heard of a lawn mower?” He says “no.” So she rips them out as fast as she can and he just uncontrollably shits all over the bed. He immediately runs to the bathroom to clean up. He comes back in to apologize to her and she is fucking doing shit angels on his bed. Turns out she’s done this to four other guys before him.

Maybe They Should Draw A Map


The first mistake most guys ever make is assuming the vagina is in the same place as the penis.


Confirmed – When I first went down on a girl I was like “Whoa, this is really down there.”

Sound Advice


I’m a queer lady, so most everyone I’ve had sex with were women. That said, I’ve never understood why men in particular have such a hard time with cunnilingus. Nearly every woman I’ve slept with has never had an orgasm from someone else (man or woman) before we were involved. But it’s really NOT that hard. Let me tell you my secretssss.
Here are the three secrets to successfully eating someone out:
Beforehand, make it really clear that you want detailed instructions of what she wants. If you’re not on her clit right, she should know that she can say, “a little to the left, and then down a bit more.” She should feel comfortable asking for it harder or softer, slower or faster, this part of your tongue versus that, etc. Then when she does say stuff like that during sex, DO IT IMMEDIATELY. The other thing that you should make really clear to her is that your goal is not to make her come. If you say that, she will feel immense pressure and she won’t be able to relax enough to have an orgasm, and then she’ll be more likely to fake one. Make it clear that she doesn’t have to come, you just want her to feel as good as possible. She can call it off whenever, no questions asked. If she doesn’t come, that’s fine, make sure you tell her how much you enjoyed it, ask her if she enjoyed it too, tell her that that’s what really matters to you. If there’s a next time, maybe it’ll happen then. Ask for constructive critique and advice for next time.
BE A TRY-HARD! Oh, your jaw and tongue are tired and you can’t breathe and everything is slippery and her hips are all over the place so you can’t quite get the right spot? SUCK IT UP! If you can barely breathe and her hips are bucking, you’re probably close to the end anyways. Keep going! Never ever give up unless you are so tired that you literally cannot continue or unless she asks you to stop. Really good cunnilingus takes time, sometimes 20 to 30 minutes or more if you’re going slow, so buckle in. Most of the women I’ve made come told me that no one else had made them come, and, upon prompting, admitted that it’s probably because no one else really tried very hard.
Do not stop because you don’t feel like it’s going that well and your fragile insecurities flare up and turn you into a whiny little bitch. This is HANDS-DOWN the worst thing you can do during oral. She’s probably just starting to feel it and then suddenly you stop, sit on the edge of the bed, and whine about how frustrating it is, and now she’s gotta comfort your bruised ego?? Ugh, talk about a mood killer.
communication 4ever
be a try-hard
don’t be a spineless shit

The Clit Monster


Finding the clit, but then treating it like you’re trying to give me a friction burn.


We’ve somehow been programmed to think that once we locate the clit, it should become our primary goal to ravage the little fucker with fury and vigor. Somewhere down the line, a lot of us heard a story about a guy who just couldn’t get it right, and we thought to ourselves, “Shit, that’s not gonna be me. I find that thing, I’m gonna work the hell out of it…”
I can offer no further explanation.

Speak Up


Not making enough noise

2nd Place Is The First To Lose


Assuming that when you’re done, she’s done

Pickle Jars


Fingering you like they’re trying to get a pick out of the inside of a guitar


You’ve had guys hold you above their head, shake you vigorously, then say “fuck it” and not touch you for the rest of the day?



Tips to guys, from a guy.
Sloooooow down. In everything. It’s not a race. If you want the woman to think of you as awesome in bed, she has to enjoy it.
Fingertips, not fists. Touch lightly to start. It’s not just about jamming fingers in. There are many, many other erogenous places to touch, and she’ll thank you.
It’s not just about the tits, ass, and vag. There are a lot of other places to pay attention to. Neck, inside of the wrist, ears, thighs… which brings me to my next point…
Learn foreplay. Become a master in it. That is the key, padawan.

Do Your Homework


If you wanna know how to perform oral on a girl, watch some lesbian porn. Those girls know how to go down on each other. Note that they aren’t trying to fuck the girl with their tongue. There is licking and most importantly sucking! Think about how good it feels to have your dick sucked, well it feels that good for a girl to get her clit sucked too. No teeth, same rules.

Good Hygiene


I feel like no one has really touched base on this yet, and this is pretty serious so take notes. Don’t EVER switch from anal to vaginal or do the back and forth shit you see in porn. For real, if fecal matter gets into the vagina it can cause nasty infections and a shit ton of problems for your lady. Stay hygienic and if you wanna switch back to the V, clean your D.


When they try to rub you, but they press down really hard, to the point where they’ve moved the sensation past the clit and it feels like they’re trying to dent the bone underneath or something. Unless she repeats “harder” until you get to that point, please don’t get to that point. It hurts… Just start lightly, if she wants it harder, she’ll tell you.

Gumby, Pokey


Trying to bend me out too far. Yes, I am flexible, but holding my legs around my head hurts.

If you want to read the thread in full you can do that by CLICKING HERE.

Redditors Reveal – The Most Common Mistakes Guys Make In Bed So Read This If You Want To Be Good At Sex



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