Sex. If there’s one thing that is common among all humans it is that while we’re doing it some very weird stuff goes through our minds.
Mostly that’s because, at least with men I believe, our brains pretty much go into lockdown.
Here were some of the best and most bizarre responses…
That she’s secretly Mystique transformed into my girlfriend and I’m balls deep in one of the greatest threats to both mankind and my innocence at twelve years old. ~ ThatCrazyManDude
“Why is she letting me do this to her?” ~ EnragedAprostate
When I’m doing it right not a damned thing. One of the most pleasurable aspects of sex is that I can bury my self in sensation and feeling without having to think. Nothing like a good animalistic fuck to knock out endless ruminating. It’s like a sweaty, sticky meditation when I’m in the groove. ~Just1morefix
Is this for real? This is great. People would pay this guy. I would pay this guy. I feel like I owe this guy $100 dollars. He could be a rich gigolo. Nah, that’d be gross, I want to be the only girl this guy fucks. I’ll make him a carrot cake. A BLT!! I love him. Is this real life? I didn’t know anything on earth could feel so wonderful. HOL-EE FUCKK. Usually something like that. ~ _aladynevertells_
I think about…
What her facial expressions mean
Go slower. That means faster! Oh no I’m too deep…she wants to change positions.
Alright we changed. Fuck I did leg day yesterday my legs are so sore! This position burns like hell….ENDURE! Endure the leg burn!
Oh wow I had to come but that intense leg pain got rid of it.
I wonder if she’s enjoying this as much as she could be…
What could I do better…oh yeah she loves this one thing! Fuck yeah it worked she’s going crazy.
Oh Kay I want to come…time to get her off.
Hmm. She tasted better when I did this before we fucked. Does that mean I taste bad? No. I think it’s just a combination and more of her juices are coming out.
Alright come on come on.
Fuck NO DON’T COME YET SHE NEEDS TO FIRST.
Think about something else…Fuck Fuck (I’m a bartender so I usually think about drink recipes) Fuck yeah she came! Woo woo now my turn. Fuck she keeps quivering I can’t quite get it….
Alright I’m going to do doggy and then go as deep as I can. I love that position, makes me come very hard every time.
Don’t lose it Don’t lose it Don’t lose it DontloseitDontloseitDontloseitDontloseit. YES YES YES HERE WE GO! Should I try to come in her mouth…she said she would not mind…..FUCK I LOST IT.
repeat the above step and finish
It’s along those lines but usually different. This was my last night. ~ NAME
My Girlfriend has a whole wall of Marvel and DC comics and another wall to posters of famous Classic Rock groups. So i spend my time reading the cover X-Men and The Avengers while dick deep in pussy. ~ BobArumKnowsBest
Don’t do it… don’t do it… don’t do it… OOPS. ~ Eoiny
Bernie Sanders and Donald J. Trump performing an unabridged performance of The Pirates of Penzance. ~ butbabyyoureadorable
Usually along the lines of…
Damn this feels good… I wonder if he notices my smooshy bits jiggling… Why do my boobs move so much during sex… Ooh he had really nice shoulders… And hair, imma play with his hair… What does that face mean… Is it a good face… Okay I think it’s a good face… Damn I wish he would make noise during sex… So close… Okay I’m done, that was great.. Now when will he be done.. It’s taking ages maybe I’m going something wrong… Okay no, he’s done… Awesome. ~Sexdatingthrowaway
“I’ve still got so much to do in Fallout 4.” ~ izakk133
Ray ‘Motherfucking’ Allen.
He’s my savior for when I want to last longer. I mean think about it. I do. I think about how he shoot his threes fast and pretty smooth. Or I think about that shot he hit for the Heat in the Finals.
Then if it didn’t work, I try to remember his jersey number when he played for the heat, drives me crazy to not remeber.
… I feel I shared too much. ~ Chickenboubou
“NO! I do NOT need to fart!” ~ JATS11
Chandler’s mom. ~ fakint
Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!
Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!
Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day! ~ drgolovacroxby
If I’m trying to last a little longer I usually think about my wife. ~ kayjay25
Check out the rest of the answers and the clever comments that followed over at Reddit.
REDDITORS REVEAL – What They Think About During Sex And It Ranges From Hilarious To Useful To WTF?