Reporter Arrested For Pooping On Lawn Of Man Who Put Family Dog In A Smoker

Reporter Arrested For Pooping On Lawn Of Man Who Put Family Dog In A Smoker

jonathan lowe

This story is a bit of a key word mad lib. It starts with a former Arizona State University football player killing his family dog because he didn’t like his daughter’s T-shirt, and it ends with a reporter getting arrested for pooping on the man’s lawn.

It also involves a meat smoker, marijuana, and a sacrifice to appease a ticked off God.

Jonathan Lowe of Phoenix, Arizona’s KPHO was reporting on what was already a very strange bit of local news before his presence added an additional, err, twist to the narrative. Patrick Zane Thompson, a father of four and former college ball player, admitted to putting his family’s dog in a smoker on direct order of God, or the Devil (one of the two). According to Lowe’s report for KPHO*, it began with a T-shirt:

Thompson became upset with a shirt that his 17-year-old daughter had. Investigators said he believed the shirt had to do with the devil. That paperwork says Thompson made his daughter take the shirt and go with him to a large BBQ traveler that’s parked in a side yard. The smoker was lit and police report that Thompson put the shirt in the trailer, burning it.

Thompson didn’t stop there, however (warning: grim description):

When Thompson went back into the house… he got more erratic and told his family, in front of his four minor children, that he needed to make a sacrifice of a male.

According to the victims, Thompson stated it had to be either himself, his firstborn 6-year-old son or the family dog — a small, white poodle weighing about 15 pounds… Goodyear police say Thompson admitted to then breaking the dog’s neck and strangling it until it “could not breathe.” He allegedly told officers the sacrifice was not done and that he had to put the dog in a “lake of fire.” Court documents say he then told them that he put the dog in the heating element of the smoker, which was turned on. When officers inspected the smoker, it had an open flame which needed to be put out by firefighters. They found the dog dead inside of the smoker.

Lowe’s report added that, when police arrived, they found Thompson lying on the sidewalk in the front of the house, “praying to God.” According to Lowe’s report, Thompson told police he had been smoking marijuana earlier in the day and “had a vision that something bad was going to happen to his family and that the ‘Lord was going to kill him for what he had done.’” Lowe’s report ends with the details that Thompson was arrested and is being held on $100,000 bail.

But the story, did not, in fact, end there.

To learn what was absent from Lowe’s report, one must turn to alternate news sources. Reports that a journalist on the scene of Thompson home had been arrested and cited for business one normally doesn’t tend to in public were floated by FTV as a blind gossip item. That very same day, FTV confirmed via photograph that a reporter had been arrested for “public defecation.”


That reporter? None other than Jonathan Lowe of Phoenix, Arizona’s KPHO.

Via the Phoenix New Times:

“Lowe chose to use the front yard of a residence to relieve himself,” Goodyear Police Department spokeswoman Lisa Kutis tells New Times. “An onlooker from across the street called it in to officers. They approached him, he said he’d had to relieve himself, and they arrested him.”

According to the New Times, Lowe was handcuffed and cited under “under Goodyear code violation 11-1-30, ‘public urination or defecation,’ a Class 1 misdemeanor punishable by a fine of up to $2,500 or six months in jail.” While an arrest report hasn’t been released, a spokesperson for the police department confirmed it was a number two. Lowe did a doodie.

KPHO told the New Times that Lowe is still currently working at the station. An unidentified employee said Lowe had a reputation of being a “good reporter,” and while he did leave highly pertinent details out of his report — namely, that he dropped a deuce on Thompson’s lawn — the fact that Lowe still managed to file the story after being arrested and booked reveals an utmost dedication to the news.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

More Boobs - Less Politics ​​

And Now... A Few Links From Our Sponsors