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Sex Therapists Dish On What They Wish People Knew –

 

“Erectile dysfunction is more common for young men than society thinks. Sildenafil (viagra) and other ED drugs are not only prescribed to old men.”

 

 


“How feeling sexy comes from being sexy, so scheduled sex today can lead to delightfully spontaneous sex tomorrow. Too many people settle into the cold comfort of a minimally maintained relationship, and let the friendship and sexy side of a relationship wither.”

 

 


“Sex is just as mental as it is physical. Being in a good mood, with no stress in the back of your mind, having a good healthy meal that day and focusing on arousing thoughts and imagery (consistently) hours before sex (or even longer). This will make your sex life better, male/female, relationship/hookups.”

 

 


“Having expectations doesn’t make you selfish or needy, it makes you a person. Sex is a big part of a relationship, and acknowledging its importance doesn’t make you shallow. Furthermore, you are setting your partner up for failure and yourself up for disappointment if you are not making your expectations known.”

 

 


“If you only knew how many times I’ve heard a spouse tell another spouse ‘You like that TOO?’ It sounds completely moronic, and you’ve heard it a million times, but communication in the bedroom is paramount.”

 

 


“If you’re taking a depression or anxiety medication its common to not have as high of a sex drive as before. Understand it has nothing to do with the relationship.”

 

“Everyone needs to learn about “sexual concordance”. What a body does, and how you feel/think about it are often two different things. Understanding how sexual concordance happens is probably the single greatest gift you can give yourself and your partner(s) current and future.

For men, generally, they tend to be more sexually concordant than women. Women, generally, are not quite as sexually concordant as men. For many people, a sexy situation doesn’t always = arousal. Sometimes, for both sexes, something that shouldn’t–for whatever reason–be arousing is, and vice versa.”

 

 


“It’s amazing how some problems seem to disappear (or at least, lessen in severity) once a couple resumes intimacy after a dry spell.”

 

 

“For couples with mismatched sex drives (which is the majority of couples)- ask yourself whether or not, when you really get things going, you enjoy having sex. If the answer is yes, remind yourself of that when your partner makes advances. In a lot of cases you will find that you don’t want to start having sex, not that you don’t want to be having sex.”

 

 


“So many guys are worried about premature ejaculation. Reality? PiV sex lasts typically 3-5 minutes. Lasting “longer” needing to go “longer” is a myth.”

 

 

 


“That going deep too fast sometimes does not feel good. It feels like your being punched in the cervix”

 

 

 


“BDSM doesn’t equate to abuse, or domestic violence, or imply a trauma history. Conversely? Abuse & domestic violence are not BDSM.”

 

 

 


“Sex is like an oil change. It will not fix a broken relationship, but it is part of good maintenance.”

 

 

 


“You get to define what is “normal” when it comes to sexuality. As long as it’s consensual, go for it! Source: AASECT Certified Sex Therapist that sees a lot of kinky folk.”

 

 

 


“It’s ok to practice. Give each other a break if you mess it up. Starting a sexual encounter doesn’t obligate you to finish it. You can’t wait to have sex until your wedding night and then expect him/her to be a dynamo. You can’t bully someone into getting an erection/orgasm.”

 

 

 

 

“Low desire is often complex, but in the majority of cases, the low-desire partner is running on empty. For most women, and an increasing number of men, desire for sex isn’t as spontaneous as it might have been when they were younger, had fewer responsibilities, or were newly into a relationship.”

 

 


“No one cares about penis size but men, because they’re all virtually the same. It’s a very small range of sizes. There’s only a few outliers with giant dicks or very tiny dicks, and that’s an incredibly small percentage of men. The majority of men have a completely normal, average dick. So who cares? Just learn how to fucking use it and you’ll be fine.”

 

 


“You know that kink you have you think is weird? It’s not. You have no idea how much I deal with people who think the majority of the world has vanilla sex. The truth is, most of my clients have extremely bizarre kinks, and that’s okay. Express this. It’s vital to you and your partner’s happiness.”

 

 

 

 

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