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This Sexual Exposure Calculator Determines How Many People You’ve Been Indirectly Exposed To

This Sexual Exposure Calculator Determines How Many People You’ve Been Indirectly Exposed To

EdsSl0C[1]Everyone, it looks like we’ve got more in common than a debilitating drinking problem and chronic masturbation. We may very well have touched genitals!! Like our genitals are probably friends of friends. They’d say what up if they were caught in an elevator together, but your’s probably wouldn’t invite mine to its birthday party. Maybe even one day our genitals can graduate to Facebook friends, but I don’t know. Wishful thinking.

catastrophic

This revelation was presented to me today in the form of a sexual exposure and STI risk calculator, courtesy of Dr. Felix.

This tool is for anyone wishing to discover exactly how many people they have been sexually exposed to applying the theory of six degrees of separation coupled with a finite geometric series.

However, you may have come across similar calculators in the past, so we have added on an interactive feature for you to also find out your potential risk of getting some of the most common sexually transmitted infections based on your local city. Simply enter the number of your sexual partners and their average partners, and let us do the complex arithmetic for you.

Fill in the below fields and don’t lie about your number–have a little damn integrity. But before you start, let’s take a quick GIF break:

catastrophic

Good luck.

I think I need to see a doctor.

[h/t Dr. Felix]

This Sexual Exposure Calculator Determines How Many People You’ve Been Indirectly Exposed To

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One reply on “This Sexual Exposure Calculator Determines How Many People You’ve Been Indirectly Exposed To”

I’ve had so much sketchy sex that I’ve probably been exposed to everyone you know, including the Catastrophic management team and their parents.

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