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These Are Your Sexual Fantasies Based On Your Political Beliefs Apparently

 

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You can tell a lot about a person by the way they vote, perhaps more than they’d like you to know if this research is anything to go by.

Head of Political and Social Research for YouGov, Joe Twyman, looked closely at the relationship between political allegiance and sex.

Spoiler: the results are fantastic.

Twyman compiled his findings into two volumes of a book entitled Sex, Lies and the Ballot Box and without further ado here is what your affiliation could say about you…

Bringing Britain back to a puritanical society, Tory and Theresa May supporters just fantasise about their favourite sport stars allegedly. Conservative by name, unimaginative as fuck by nature apparently.

Meanwhile UKIP voters buoyed by Brexit have dared to be a little more risqué with dreams of dildos – the tragic irony being how leaving the EU will affect the cost of Dutch imports…

And if you want an unselfish lover, find yourself a Labour voter or Corbynista. Sure you may have to pretend to be someone else, or venture into the wilderness to satisfy their liberal lust, but they like to give oral as well as receive – so, swings and roundabouts.

Lib Dems stay true to their name, and according to Twyman they are pretty adventurous and seemingly more open to accepting sexuality is a broad spectrum. Their idea of a party whip has taken an unexpected turn though.

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As reported by the i100, Twyman eloquently summed up his findings:

I found the fact that Conservatives were, relatively speaking at least, conservative with their sexual fantasies really interesting. As were Ukippers.

On the left Labour and the Lib Dems had a far longer list.

No wonder older generations used to keep their voting habits private.

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