‘Spank Therapy’ Promises to Slap Your Male Psyche Into Shape

We all come to points in our lives when we know we need a little tough love. To be whipped into shape, if you will. Some people do this by training for a marathon. Others force themselves to buckle down at work until they get that coveted promotion. And still others go to spank therapy.

Say what?! Spank therapy. It’s a real thing, though the people who practice it are generally not medical professionals.

One such practitioner is Dr. Don, who was featured on Mel magazine. His office (err…apartment) was in East Los Angeles at the time of the article’s publication. The self-described “Spankologist” authored several books on “spanking for wellness,” including Behind Closed Doors: In the Secrecy of Darkness and Red Tail Bible.

According to the good doctor (who, again, is not an actual doctor), spanking is beneficial to the psyche in myriad ways. Being paddled on the butt induces a rush of endorphins and can also provide relief from stress and guilt, improve sexual tension, and offer catharsis through crying.

As Dr. Don told Mel magazine, he fell into the profession accidentally. “A businessman was referred to me, and I spanked him — the whole nine yards. When we were done, he put $100 down on my desk and said, ‘I’m a married man. It’s got to be a business transaction or I can’t do it.’ I thought, People will actually pay me to do this? It had never dawned on me that that would happen. So I put an ad in the paper,” he said.

His ad read: “My name is Don. I’m a heterosexual real dad looking for young men who grew up without a dad. You missed the bonding between father and son, but I can provide you with something else: Discipline with a good ol’ fashioned spanking. To be clear, this isn’t for a sexual connection, but the real experience of being spanked. $20 an hour.”

By 2017, he was banking $175 for a 1-hour session, with clients traveling from all around the world to get their bare asses pummeled. “They call it their ‘mini-vacation’ — a chance to clear their mind and give up control to someone else, which allows them to regain their focus and return to court with a clear mind,” Dr. Don told Mel magazine.

At the start of a session, Dr. Don asks why the client believes they deserves to be spanked – and what they could have done differently. Then the client assumes a position – over-the-lap is the most popular. Dr. Don selects one of his tools – which include a homemade plywood paddle, a wooden bath brush, a plastic kitchen utility spoon, a studded leather mallet, a wooden cane, and a leather strap with two tongues at the end – and goes to town.

In between spanks, Dr. Don rubs the client’s buttocks to help avoid bruising. He also offers encouragement between blows, like, “I know you can do better, and you know it too, don’t you?” and “You’re much better than your recent behavior.” or “We’re not going to let the way you’ve acted get in the way of who you are and who you can become!” When the treatment is over, Dr. Don hugs the client, just like your dad never did after a whoopin’.

Does spank therapy work? Who knows. But it can’t hurt…or wait a minute, yes it can… If you’re game for pain, give it a try. If just the thought of a strange man spanking your ass to heal your daddy issues makes you shudder, consider trying traditional talk therapy instead. Either way, one thing remains the same: change is uncomfortable.

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