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Staten Island Lawyer Wants To Settle Fraud Case With Trial By Combat

Attorney Richard Luthmann of Staten Island has filed a motion to settle a fraud case being brought against him in an appropriately Staten Island manner — via trial by combat.

According to Mediaite, Luthmann is being sued for telling a former client to “move his money around so as to make it unreachable by creditors.” While that’s horribly illegal legal advice, it’s unclear what else the client expected from a Staten Island lawyer. Isn’t that the type of advice one goes to a Staten Island lawyer for? Look at this guy — faulting him for giving shitty legal advice is totally a Scorpion/Frog situation.

Anyway, further confirming that the client’s the one who fucked up for going to him in the first place, Luthmann thinks an apt way to settle this whole thing is a fight to the death.

As detailed in Luthmann’s motion:

The allegations made by plaintiffs, aided and abetted by their counsel, border upon the criminal. As such, the undersigned (Luthmann) respectfully requests that the court permit the undersigned to dispatch plaintiffs and their counsel to the Divine Providence of the Maker for Him to exact His divine judgment once the undersigned has released the souls of the plaintiffs and their counsel from their corporeal bodies, personally and or by way of a champion.

Luthmann later contends in his notion that trial by combat was never outlawed in the U.S. or the state of New York.

Given that Luthmann is an admitted Game of Thrones fan, and also in light of his terrifying powdered blue suit and bowtie, the client should probably just cut their losses, drop the lawsuit, get the hell out of Staten Island.

 

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Staten Island Lawyer Wants To Settle Fraud Case With Trial By Combat

One reply on “Staten Island Lawyer Wants To Settle Fraud Case With Trial By Combat”

Just ask the attorney to sit in front of that backstop and light a cigarette.

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