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There’s something almost magical about Taco Bell cuisine. In the bright light of daytime sobriety, their tacos, burritos and other assorted Mexican-esque items on their menu are decent enough. Not amazing, but not terrible either. Standard issue fast food.

However, once you get about seven or eight pints of beer in your stomach, everything changes. Their food seems almost to transubstantiate into something otherworldly and life-altering. I’ve known people (drunk people, mind you) who have sat at the Taco Bell booth, crying like children about how good their Cheesy Double Beef Burrito was.

The Taco Bell executives no doubt understand this phenomenon. I mean, there’s a reason why most Taco Bell locations stay open until 2 am. It’s not for insomniacs who crave refried beans. It’s for the intoxicated masses pouring out of the bars.

So, if this is the case, then why not just turn your drunk-friendly fast food restaurant into a bar? It makes the most sense ever! People eat, they get thirsty, they drink, they get drunk, they eat more, they get thirstier, they drink more, they get drunker, they eat even more, etc.

It’s the perfect plan!

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