13 PG Movies That Shouldn't Be Rated PG

13 PG Movies That Shouldn't Be Rated PG -

Before we dig into any movies that would qualify for the question in the title of this post, I do want to make one thing clear:Tastes are very subjective, and plenty of these movies can be watched by kids. Hell, I watched half of these before I was ten years old, and I turned out… Decently. But these are the films that ride the razor’s edge of being PG, and many simply didn’t have the option of being PG-13 because the rating didn’t exist. Well, most of them, anyway.

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Jaws (1973)

A horrifying masterpiece from the pre-PG-13 era, Jaws is arguably one of the most hardcore PG films of all time. When’s the last time you saw a dismembered leg float to the bottom of the ocean in a PG movie? With even grosser kills throughout, Jawsreally pushed the limits of 1970s violence in PG films.

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Return to Oz (1985)

Unlike JawsReturn to Oz doesn’t have any blood.What it has instead is Dorothy being threatened with electroshock therapy. In the first ten minutes. From there, Dorothy’s return to the land of Oz is less “Lollipop Guild” and more “queen who has a glass case full of women’s heads that she takes and swaps out like this week’s fashion.” Add in the some of the most nightmarish stop-motion of all time (fuck you, Nome King), and you have a true PG nightmare in motion.

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The Witches (1990)

The Witches doesn’t seem that fucked up for a kids movie. There are plenty of children’s stories about witches going after children that are easily PG, but The Witches stands out because of literally one scene. It’s creepy throughout, but when the witches reveal their true forms, it’s a goddamn nightmare.And unlike a movie like Jaws, PG-13 was totally and completely available by the time The Witches was released.

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Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

Look, you knew what GIF was going to be paired with this movie. But when you consider that there’s a decaying corpse hanging on a spike wall, a fresh corpse on a spike wall, a man getting chopped up by a plane propeller, a bit where Indiana Jones is punched in his own bullet wound, and that whole finale… Yeah.It’s no wonder that the sequel, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, was one of the movies responsible for the creation of PG-13 (and now that we’ve mentioned that, we don’t need to do an entry on Temple of Doom, you damn well know why that movie’s fucked up).

6

Labyrinth (1986)

Honestly, beyond some creepy puppets, Labyrinth mostly earns its PG.Except for damn near everything involving David Bowie. You could almost forgive Bowie’s massive bulging codpiece as a joke for the parents until the plot moves in a direction that sure makes it seem like the Goblin King is actually in love with a 15-year-old girl. This one sits right on the razor’s edge between ratings, because while nothing explicit happens between the two at all, the implications are beyond unsettling.

7

Tourist Trap (1979)

This infamous cult film would have absolutely earned a PG-13 if the rating had existed. And honestly, it would have been remembered as one of the strangest PG-13 horror films out there.Except it was released before the rating, and while this horror film doesn’t have much blood, it has a shit-load of nightmare fuel in the form of laughing/screaming mannequins being telekinetically controlled by a figure wearing a plastic mask who murders tourists. So, instead, it’s remembered for scaring the absolute shit out of unsuspecting children who had no idea what they were in for.

8

Poltergeist (1982)

How the fuck this movie didn’t get an R is way beyond me. Shit, I think this movie is barely a modern PG-13. And before anyone thinks I’m overreacting, there is literally a scene in this movie where a man hallucinates rippling his own face off piece by piece like a fucking David Cronenberg movie.And right before that, a piece of meat crawls across a counter and explodes with maggots. This movie is literally the product of Steven Spielberg teaming up with the director of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Tobe Hooper, and no one should have expected anything but this end result.

9

Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983)

Missing out on the PG-13 rating by just a year, this Disney funded horror film was always intended for families (Disney in the 1980s is one of those things that’s practically its own genre, it’s where Return to Oz came from).But a movie based on a Ray Bradbury story about a literal dark carnival was always going to be fertile ground for nightmare fuel, and while very little of it isn’t technically too fucked up for kids the way Poltergeist is, it’s still rough.

10

Gremlins (1984)

So, there are two movies that are essentially credited as forcing the film industry to create the PG-13 rating. We’ve already mentioned one, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.Gremlins is the other film (side note: Steven Spielberg has a way of pushing ratings, goddamn, he produced Gremlins). Gremlins is particularly difficult to pin down, because despite it being pretty violent, most of the violence is very cartoony and super fun.Except when it isn’t, like shoving Gremlins into a blender or exploding one in the microwave. But the film’s crowning achievement of darkness has no violence at all. It’s a heartbreaking monologue where a teenage girl describes how her father died trying to “play Santa” for his kids.

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Coraline (2008)

The director of Nightmare Before Christmas, Henry Selick, adapting a Neil Gaiman novel was always going to end up fucking up some children forever. While technically appropriate for kids, it still blows me away that a PG kid’s movie from just over ten years ago has a major plot point about removing a child’s eyes so that they can sew buttons over the holes where her eyes used to be.You know, for kids!

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And hey, while we’re here, we might as well throw in a bonus of sorts, just real quick:A couple of PG-13 movies that pushed the boundaries of the rating, and most of these are recent.

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X-Men: First Class (2011)

X-Men: First Class is absolutely a PG-13, but it takes one scene to remind you that the director, Matthew Vaughn, also directed Layer CakeKickass, and eventually both Kingsman movies.The death of Sebastian Shaw is absolutely brutal, with Magneto literally splitting his brain in half with a coin that we actually watch exit the back of Shaw’s skull, covered in blood.

14

Alita: Battle Angel (2019)

Holy fuck y’all. I went and saw this a bunch of the editors here, and the reaction was… Mixed, to be nice about it.But the one thing we all agreed on was that the action was fucking unbelievably violent and badass, and basically the number one reason to watch the movie. Since the film’s combatants are “cyborgs,” they get away with faces being cut off, arms and legs being decimated, and punching someone through their head and ripping one of their eyes out.Thank god for blue cyborg blood, because apparently, that’s all you need for a PG-13.


HOUSTON HOME INVASION CAUGHT ON 'NANNY CAM'

 

HOUSTON HOME INVASION CAUGHT ON 'NANNY CAM'

A home invasion in Houston, Texas happened while the family was still there. Burglars made off with a safe and the family was left shaken up.


Bank Employee Arrested After Violent Robbery Of Business Owner

Bank Employee Arrested After Violent Robbery Of Business Owner

Two men violently rob a woman and her husband, running her over with their car. A bank employee has been arrested as an accomplice to the violent robbery duo. The crooks were after $75,000 that the business owner just withdrew from the bank. They were tipped off by bank employee Shelby Wyse who gave a “go signal” to her boyfriend Travonn Johnson. Wyse’s boyfriend, was arrested along with alleged accomplice Davis Mitchell. Prosecutors say it was Johnson who backed the vehicle into the woman.
The action starts at the 2:45 mark…


BLONDE DRUNK DEMON EX-GIRLFRIEND GOES OVER THE EDGE ON A VIOLENT BREAKDOWN WHEN HER BOYFRIEND BREAKS UP WITH HER

BLONDE DRUNK DEMON EX-GIRLFRIEND GOES OVER THE EDGE ON A VIOLENT BREAKDOWN WHEN HER BOYFRIEND BREAKS UP WITH HER

She allegedly said on Twitter it was because they broke up and she got too drunk. I wonder how many people would help stomp him to death if he just picked her up and spiked her on her head? Brought to you by Bud Light, the perfect beer for WHATEVER happens.


Judge Says "Filing Down Knives" Will Reduce Violent Crime

Judge Says "Filing Down Knives" Will Reduce Violent Crime

judge has proposed a nationwide programme to file down the points of kitchen knives as a solution to the country’s soaring knife crime epidemic.

Last week in his valedictory address, retiring Luton Crown Court Judge Nic Madge spoke of his concern that carrying a knife had become routine in some circles and called on the Government to ban the sale of large pointed kitchen knives.

Latest figures show stabbing deaths among teenagers and young adults have reached the highest level for eight years, and knife crime overall rose 22 per cent in 2017.

In the past two months, he said, there have been 77 knife-related incidents in Bedfordshire, including three killings.

Judge Madge told the assembled  judges, barristers and court staff: “These offences often seem motiveless - one boy was stabbed because he had an argument a couple of years before at his junior school.”

He said laws designed to reduce the availability of weapons to young would-be offenders had had “almost no effect”, since the vast majority had merely taken knives from a cutlery drawer.

He said: “A few of the blades carried by youths are so called ‘Rambo knives’ or samurai swords. They though are a very small minority.

"The reason why these measures have little effect is that the vast majority of knives carried by youths are ordinary kitchen knives. Every kitchen contains lethal knives which are potential murder weapons.

"Accordingly, it is very easy for any youth who wants to obtain a knife to take it from the kitchen drawer in his home or in the home of one of his friends.”

As a result - said the judge - the most common knife a youth will take out is eight to ten inches, long and pointed, from his mother's cutlery tray.

He asked: “But why we do need eight-inch or ten-inch kitchen knives with points?

“Butchers and fishmongers do, but how often, if at all, does a domestic chef use the point of an eight-inch or ten-inch knife? Rarely, if at all."

"Acknowledging that any blade could cause injury, the judge pointed out “slash wounds are rarely fatal.”

So, he said: “I would urge all those with any role in relation to knives - manufacturers, shops, the police, local authorities, the government - to consider preventing the sale of long pointed knives, except in rare, defined, circumstances, and replacing such knives with rounded ends.

"It might even be that the police could organise a programme whereby the owners of kitchen knives, which have been properly and lawfully bought for culinary purposes, could be taken somewhere to be modified, with the points being ground down into rounded ends," he said.

Office for National statistics figures published in February revealed 215 fatal stabbings had been recorded by police in the 12 months to March 2017.

This was on par with the previous year’s 212 stabbing deaths but a marked increase on the 186 in the year to March 2015.

The latest figures show ten 16 or 17 year olds lost their lives in the year to March 2017, as well as 51 people aged between 18 and 24. The combined total is the highest since 2008/9.

In the first 100 days of 2018, 53 people were killed in the capital alone, many of them victims of knife crime.

New tougher sentencing guidelines for knife crime were introduced in March, with gang membership or carrying a concealed weapon both identified as aggravating factors which can increase a jail term handed down for a knife offence.

The Sentencing council said the reforms were intended to “reflect Parliament’s concern about the social problem of offenders carrying knives.”


Enthusiastic Archbishop Carries Out “The Most Violent Baptism Ever"

Enthusiastic Archbishop Carries Out “The Most Violent Baptism Ever"

An Orthodox Archbishop has been criticized for performing the “most violent baptism ever” in a video which has emerged on social media.


Violent Thug Faces Jail Time After Head Butting Innocent Woman

Violent Thug Faces Jail Time After Head Butting Innocent Woman

Two men in England have been jailed for chasing down and viciously beating another man back in January. The victim had stepped in when one of the attackers had head-butted a woman inside a pizza place.


5 "Retro" Games That Were Magnificently Violent

5 "Retro" Games That Were Magnificently Violent

The 8-bit and 16-bit games of days gone by were a special breed. Grainy and pixelated, they created adorable little worlds to get lost in! But as games have become increasingly (and might I add, awesomely) violent, so too has a special kind of “retro game”, old-fashioned games that feature GHOULISH action. Here are five of the goriest, most violent retro games around.

 

Retro City Rampage

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2012’s Retro City Rampage is what would have happened if Grand Theft Auto had come out for the NES. You can wander around the city ignoring quests, arming yourself with blunt objects and artfully bringing them down on the skulls of unsuspecting pedestrians! From there, the violence escalates to a crescendo as you hop into a tank and shoot mortar blasts at every building in town. This is your Blue Period. This is your Femme assise.

 

Broforce

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2015’s Broforce is an homage to every single action film of the '80s, '90s and 2000s, and fittingly contains gallons upon gallons of what Alex DeLarge might call that “red, red kroovy” (blood, I'm guessing). In Broforce, you take on the mantle of various movie-themed “bros”, like Indiana Brones, Rambro, and the Brominator. And along the way, you slice, chop, shoot, explode and decimate every last criminal in your line of vision until you fight the literal Christian devil. What is it to Bro? It is but to take up arms for your brethren and decapitate foes. Or neuralyze them, if you’re into the whole Men in Black thing.

 

Hotline Miami

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Inspired by 2011’s DriveHotline Miami positions you as an anonymous driver/ killer for hire, wearing various animal masks and a varsity jacket like the bleakest version of Teen Wolf you’ve ever seen. The death here comes quick, with most assassinations being possible with the single press of a button. Pick up a lead pipe? You can bash in your enemies' skulls with ease. Katana? One swoosh relieves them of their heads. Yes friends, I DO know when that hotline bling, that it can only mean one thing. And that thing? That thing is mayhem.

 

Super Meat Boy

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In 2010, Super Meat Boy was on everybody’s lips (not literally, don’t be gross). But the game was the hottest topic in town — an adorable platformer starring a carnimorph. But do not be fooled by its charms! Super Meat Boy is hideous and awesomely grotesque. This is not a meat creature, this is a MAN SANS SKIN. Every one of his nerve endings on fire. It is a meditation on what it is to feel. Eventually Meat Boy is reunited with his love, the bandages that salve his agony, even if just for a second! At the end of the day, Super Meat Boy is a love story. A horrible, horrible love story.

 

Super Mario Bros.

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The ultimate assassin. You may know him by many names, just like the fallen angel himself, but he is most commonly known by five simple letters. It’s-a him. Mario. He stomps on turtles. He rips flowers from the earth before consuming them to gain elemental powers, with which he incinerates even the most innocuous of rivals. Sure, in his mind, Mario is the conquering hero, saving the princess from a fate worse than death. But history’s worst villains thought they were doing the Lord’s work. And Mario, with his boots caked in reptilian guts, like tyrannical dictators and purveyors of death before him, has earned a spot in that pantheon.


California Police Fatally Shoot Man During Violent Confrontation [GRAPHIC]

California Police Fatally Shoot Man During Violent Confrontation [GRAPHIC]

Tulare Police officers shot and killed a suspect Monday afternoon, after multiple physical confrontations.

The violence has the community on edge.

"I know our 911 system was so overloaded they were having to hang up on people because they had so many calls about our officers in a fight with this guy," said Tulare Police Sgt. John Hamlin.

Around 4:30 Monday afternoon officers were responding to the assault of a bus driver near the corner of E Cross Ave and N Cherry St. When they spotted a man matching a suspect description, they attempted to talk to him. That's when officers say the man tried to fight them.

According to Police, the physical altercation prompted officers to use their Tasers, which they say were ineffective. "The suspect became combative. At that point in time, the officers put out that there had been shots fired," said Sgt. Hamlin.

Cell phone video of the encounter shows one officer running after the suspect before using his Taser, the chase continues with the suspect punching the officer, the officer then takes out his baton and swings. The chase then moves across the street where the second officer pepper sprays the suspect. Shortly after, shots are fired.


NYC Subway Rider Beats A Man And Breaks His Teeth For Looking At Him

NYC Subway Rider Beats A Man And Breaks His Teeth For Looking At Him

One straphanger is accused of attacking another on a Times Square subway platform.


LEGENDARY MOTHER/DAUGHTER DUO PUMP HOT LEAD INTO A VIOLENT ROBBER BRANDISHING A 12-GAUGE SHOTGUN [GRAPHIC]

LEGENDARY MOTHER/DAUGHTER DUO PUMP HOT LEAD INTO A VIOLENT ROBBER BRANDISHING A 12-GAUGE SHOTGUN [GRAPHIC]

This is the incredible CCTV footage of a mother and daughter fighting off a robber armed with a shotgun at their liquor store. The pair fought off the hooded robber who demanded cash from them at their Forest Acres Liquor store in Oklahoma. The suspect was shot multiple times and local media reported he was in a critical condition in hospital.


15 Shockingly Violent TV Moments You Won't Believe Made It To Air

15 Shockingly Violent TV Moments You Won't Believe Made It To Air

Thanks to television shows like The Walking Dead and Game of Thrones, the oft-recycled conversation about violence on TV is louder than ever, with one side arguing that the empty trauma of gory TV scenes is warping the minds of the world’s youth, while the other side revels in a bloodlust that knows no bounds. While fictional TV violence is probably low on the list of things that are desensitizing people, there are some shockingly violent TV moments that make you glad to be sitting on your couch, and not in the same room with the guy who just used a chainsaw to kill a cheerleader.

The kind of TV shows with the most violence are the series that have death baked right into the premise. If your favorite show is about a tough-as-nails DA who is also juggling a job as a pastry chef, you’re probably not going to see a lot of dead bodies, but if you never miss an episode of Machete Detective, then you’re probably used to the high body count that comes along with your viewing habits. Gruesome television shows take many forms, and in some cases, the violence feels more cartoonish even when it’s technically more blood-soaked than something where the brutality of a scene hits you on an emotional level.

Keep reading to find out which scenes made the cut for the most violent television moments that just barely made it to air.


31 BAD ASSES THAT ARE BIGGER AND BADDER THAN YOU WILL EVER BE

31 BAD ASSES THAT ARE BIGGER AND BADDER THAN YOU WILL EVER BE

 

 

 


Home Carer Is Caught On Camera Violently Dragging And Beating His 77-Year-Old Client

Home Carer Is Caught On Camera Violently Dragging And Beating His 77-Year-Old Client

 

 A CCTV video has captured the horrific moment when an elderly man was physically abused by his home carer in south-east China.

The 77-year-old man, who is paralysed, was slapped on the head, pushed onto the floor and thrown into the bed violently by his carer, surnamed Sun. After discovering multiple injuries on his father’s body, the pensioner’s son brought a lawsuit against the carer, but Mr Sun denied he had attacked his client on the court.

The apparent abuse was captured by a surveillance camera fitted inside the pensioner’s bedroom. The videos dated from April 16 to April 21. In one footage, the elderly man can be seen being dragged off the bed and swung into the wall at 4 ‘clock in the morning. The carer then violently hit the pensioner on the head and pushed him out of his bedroom.

According to report, the pensioner had an ischemic stroke and became paralysed. He is incapable of walking without an aid. The pensioner’s son hired him a 24-hour carer to stay at home and look after him. The carer is paid 3,500 yuan (£399) a month. However, the pensioner’s son noticed bruise marks and wounds on his father’s body shortly after Mr Sun came to work.

 


Officer Fends Off Violent Attack During Traffic Stop

Officer Fends Off Violent Attack During Traffic Stop

 

 Taylor, MI - A traffic stop in Michigan Sunday turned violent as a man fought to resist arrest and an officer fought to maintain restraint. Dashcam video shows just as the officer in Taylor was about to handcuff the man, the driver attacked the officer. The officer said the man, later identified as Jonathan Boyd, also reached for his weapon during the scuffle. At one point the officer's radio became disconnected. But once he was able to reconnect and call for backup, several officers came to help take Boyd into custody. Boyd was arrested on three felony warrants from Wisconsin. Police say the officer pulled out his weapon after Boyd ran, but he did not fire the gun.

 


Woman Has A Violent Encounter With Phoenix Police After Allegedly Stealing

Woman Has A Violent Encounter With Phoenix Police After Allegedly Stealing

A bystander outside of a Wal-Mart in Phoenix, AZ yesterday witnessed Phoenix police attempting to take a female suspect into custody. Going off what is shown in the video, the woman is accused of stealing from the store. While the struggle takes place in the car, the woman screams as a Phoenix police officer tries to arrest her. While in the process, she’s heard saying “he’s choking me!” At one point, the officer is heard threatening to SHOOT her!


15 Video Games That Made Christmas Incredibly Violent

15 Video Games That Made Christmas Incredibly Violent

Taking the Christmas season and making it violent has been a recurring theme of many different movies over the years. You have the classics like Die Hard and The Nightmare Before Christmas, as well as camp horror movies like Jack Frost and Santa’s Slay. It is easy to take the jolly aesthetic of the holiday season and juxtapose it with some ultra-violence in order to get a reaction from the audience.

It didn’t take long for the video game world to start creating their own Christmas themed violence. The vast majority of video games involve killing in some form or another. Some developers have decided to change the usual settings in order to (hopefully) boost sales around the holiday season. They did this by changing ruined cities into the North Pole and replacing soldiers and demons with snowmen.

We are here today to look at the games that added murder and mayhem to Christmas. We will also look at the games that were already violent, but added a holiday season theme to the proceedings. From Santa carpet bombing soldiers to Agent 47’s Home Alone. 

Here are 15 Video Games That Made Christmas Incredibly Violent!

15. CALL OF DUTY: MODERN WARFARE – SANTA’S BOMBING RUN

For better or for worse, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare ushered in a new age of online gaming. While games like Counter-Strike had previously used a realistic modern setting in a first person shooter, they had mainly appeared on PC only. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare popularised the contemporary world as the main location for shooting games in the console market. Gone were the colourful alien worlds and imaginative settings of the old days. They were replaced with dreary deserts and ruined grey cities. If there is one positive thing about the popularity of the anti-consumer cash grab that is Overwatch, it is that it seems to have brought some levity and life back to the aesthetic of the first person shooter genre.

One of the most popular maps for Call of Duty: Modern Warfare was called “Crash”. This level was based around a helicopter that has crashed in a desert town. The PC version of the game received an update that added a Christmas themed variant of Crash – Winter Crash. This version of the map covered the desert floor with snow and adorned the buildings with lights. A large Christmas tree now stands next to the fallen helicopter.

The biggest change to Winter Crash involves the air strike. Once it has been called, the sound of the planes is replaced with bells and you can hear Santa shouting “Ho Ho Ho” as the bombs are dropped. In Winter Crash, it is Santa who is carpet bombing the enemy with presents.

Winter Crash was added into Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Remastered, allowing console gamers to play it for the first time. In this version, the players will explode into a pile of presents upon death.

14. PARASITE EVE – BODY HORROR IN NEW YORK

Parasite Eve for the original PlayStation started out as an adaptation of a Japanese horror novel/movie. It soon abandoned the plot of its source material and basically became a mixture between Resident Evil and Akira. Parasite Eve became one of the most beloved games during the late ’90s RPG boom. It told the story of Aya Brea, a New York City police officer who witnesses the murder of an entire audience worth of people at the hands of a Psychic. This begins Aya’s investigation into the mysterious woman known as Eve, who can change living creatures into monsters by controlling their DNA.

The opening cinematic of Parasite Eve establishes that it takes place on Christmas Eve in New York City. Aya spends the festive season battling giant rats, that have been transformed into monsters through some horrific process. Once the threat of Eve has been established, the entire island of Manhattan has to be evacuated over the Christmas period, in order to ensure the safety of the population.

13. DUKE NUKEM 3D – COME GET SOME PRESENTS

The early first-person shooting games like Doom brought a whole new world of realism to video games. Players could now see through the eyes of their character and feel like they are the ones pulling the trigger. The developers of Doom, id Software, were all about creating a community of fans. One of the ways they went about this was with the creation of extensive modding tools, that allowed the fans to create their own Doom levels.

Doom’s biggest competitor was Duke Nukem 3D. A similar game that focused on saving mankind from an alien threat. Duke Nukem 3D did this with the aid of pop culture references and scantily clad strippers. Like Doom, Duke Nukem 3D had its own modding tools. It was because of this that some companies actually sold their own 3rd party Duke Nukem 3D expansions.

One of the most infamous of these unofficial expansions was Duke: Nuclear Winter. This expansion took Duke to a wonderful winter land, full of carolers, snowmen and a brainwashed Santa… that he can shoot. Nuclear Winter also added Santa hats to the strippers, in case you weren’t sure if it was Christmasy enough.

12. BATMAN: ARKHAM CITY – THE ADVENT CALENDAR MAN

One of the cool things about modern games is that they can detect the current date that is assigned to your computer. Most games will ignore this fact, as they cannot find a way to utilise it in an interesting fashion. Some games have used the internal clock as a mechanic, however. The most famous of these was Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater. One of the bosses in that game was called The End. He was an old man with a sniper rifle who you must battle in a huge jungle. If you start the battle with The End and save your game, then you can kill him by adding a few weeks to the internal clock. When you load the save, he will have died of 0ld age.

In Batman: Arkham City, it is possible to run into the villain known as the Calendar Man. His whole gimmick is committing crimes on famous holidays. If you visit him on these days (or change the clock on your computer), then he will tell you about the specific crimes he has performed on those dates in the past. If you visit him on Christmas Day, then he will tell you about the time he murdered a Judge while dressed like Santa.

11. CRUSADER: NO REGRET – SLAY BELLS

Speaking of playing games on a specific date…

Crusader: No Regret was a PC action game that used the same engine as Ultima VIII. You play as the Silencer, a super soldier that worked for a powerful mega corporation. The Silencer ends up joining the local resistance movement and turns on his former employers. Crusader: No Regret takes place on the moon, where the Silencer is trying to destroy a mining operation that doubles as a prison.

If you start the game on December 25th, then Crusader: No Regret will load a unique level. In this new stage, you have to face eight versions of the end boss at once. You are given all of the items and weapons in the game to accomplish this task, all while a techno version of Good King Wenceslas plays.

10. KILLING FLOOR – KILLING CHRISTMAS

Killing Floor is one of a few games that started out as a mod of another title but ended up becoming its own thing. In the same way that Counter-Strike was a mod for Half Life that turned it into a team-based shooter in a contemporary setting, Killing Floor turned Unreal Tournament 2004 into a zombie shooter. Instead of fighting each other, the players now had to team up to fight off waves of the undead.

Around every December since 2010, Killing Floor has held an event known as “Twisted Christmas“. Players could now battle on a winter themed level that was adorned with decorations and presents. This level was guarded by a zombie Santa with a flayed body. He dispatched his army of Christmas themed zombies to devour the players. By completing this event, the players could unlock the “Baddest Santa” as a playable character.

9. CANNON FODDER – WAR AGAINST SOCCER

Cannon Fodder was a popular game from the 16-bit era that managed to combine the action and strategy genres. You controlled a squad of soldiers as they completed missions across the globe. You had to plan out your missions like a strategy game, whilst using quick reflexes in order to shoot your foes.

The company that made Cannon Fodder was called Sensible Software. While Cannon Fodder was their biggest game in America, they were best known in Europe for a football game, called Sensible Soccer. 

For the Christmas edition of Amiga Format magazine, Sensible Software combined their two biggest games as a special one-off. Amiga Format came with a floppy disc that usually contained demos of new games. For this special Christmas edition of the magazine, you got to play as the soldiers from Cannon Fodder in a jolly, Christmas themed level… as they gunned down the players from Sensible Soccer. This Smash Bros. style crossover was called Cannon Soccer. 

8. ELF BOWLING – SANTA HATES UNIONS

Santa is not a fan of unions. Why should he be? His elves only work for a few months out of the year and get to crash at his pad for the rest of the time. How many kids even want old fashioned toys nowadays anyway? Most young people today want the latest iPhone and those are made in China, not the North Pole.

There exists a series of video games known as Elf Bowling. These games examine the idea of what Santa would do if his Elves decide to go on strike. If the name hasn’t given it away already, Santa uses his dark Santa magic to force the elves onto a bowling lane, so he can kill them with a bowling ball. As the player, your skill at bowling will decide how many elves live or die. You get to hear the screams of agony and watch the blood ooze from the crumpled corpses of Christmas elves.

The only thing more disturbing than the fact that trash like Elf Bowling was even made in the first place, is the fact that it got a movie adaptation. That’s a story for another day, however.

7. SAINTS ROW IV – SAVING SAINT NICHOLAS

Saints Row IV took the series in a bizarre new direction. Within a few minutes of starting the game, the main character is made the President of the United States of America, the world is destroyed by aliens and the few surviving humans are trapped within a virtual reality like the one from The Matrix. This change of setting allowed the game to become Grand Theft Auto except with super powers, so it was welcomed by most of the fanbase.

One of the DLC mission packs released for Saints Row IV was called “How the Saints Saved Christmas“. This expansion added three new Christmas-themed missions to the game.

After discovering that Santa has been kidnapped by aliens, the Saints must enter a Christmas version of the virtual reality world in order to save him. The Saints must battle against an army of Gingerbread men and Christmas elves that are out to kill them, all while a narrator talks of their adventure in rhymes.

6. BORDERLANDS 2 – CYAN ITEMS FOR CHRISTMAS

The original Borderlands was a mixture of bizarre concepts that somehow worked. It used a Tank Girl style aesthetic for its futuristic wilderness setting. It took the rare item collecting of Diablo and mixed it with the exciting combat of Serious Sam. Even though it was rough around the edges, Borderlands offered a unique gaming experience.

With the success of the original Borderlands, a sequel was inevitable. Borderlands 2 was released in 2012 and it was… essentially the first game again. They added almost nothing new to the overall experience. The few new interesting additions to the gameplay were relegated to the paid DLC.

One of the DLC expansions for the game was called “How Marcus Saved Mercenary Day”. This added new missions that involved you battling Christmas variants of the regular monsters, as well as battling Tinder Snowflake, a terrifying snowman monster. The expansion allowed you to earn some new Christmas-themed gear for your character.

5. STAR TREK ONLINE – THE WRATH OF SANTA

One of the first scenes in Star Trek: The Next Generation introduced a being known as Q. Several members of the Enterprise crew are imprisoned by Q and are held on trial for the crimes of humanity. Q was a being of godlike power and liked to flaunt his abilities at every opportunity. He was like Loki from Norse mythology, a cruel God of mischief, who took joy from the suffering of others. His appearances onboard the Enterprise meant trouble for everyone involved.

From a writer’s perspective, Q can be used as a plot device for almost any possible scenario. Do you want to write an episode where Captain Picard has to stop the Kennedy assassination? Q can make that happen. Do you want to write an episode where everyone onboard gets turned into sentient dogs? Q can make that happen. Do you want to write an episode where Counsellor Troi does something useful? Well… that’s probably outside of Q’s powers.

It seems that Q has run out of interesting ideas during the time period of Star Trek Online, as he now uses his power to make random Federation soldiers battle Christmas-themed monsters.

During the “Q’s Winter Wonderland” event that runs every December, the players are sent to a Christmas-themed town, where they can complete new missions. These involve battling a snow variant of the Borg and defending a town of Gingerbread men from some evil snowmen.

4. CHAMPIONS ONLINE – CHRISTMAS ON INFINITE EARTHS

It might be tempting for a video game developer to try their hand at making an MMO game. World of Warcraft has been printing money for Blizzard for over a decade now; Final Fantasy XI is the most profitable game in its series, due to the fact that so many fans have been paying to play it for so long.

The few success stories tend to overshadow all of the pitfalls and inevitable failures that come with making an MMO game. Having a famous licence attached to the project doesn’t seem to help either, as MMOs based off Conan the Barbarian, The Matrix and even Star Wars have all floundered in the past.

This brings us to Champions Online, a superhero MMO based off the tabletop RPG called Champions. They hold an annual Christmas-themed event, called “Attack of the Misfit Toys“. This event adds new missions to the game where the player must battle a supervillain known as the Toy Master, and his army of giant toy robots.

3. GEARS OF WAR 3 – THE CHRISTMAS HORDE

The Gears of War franchise is one of the few video game series that is exclusive to Microsoft. This current generation of consoles seems to be turning into a battle of attrition, with the main weapon being these so-called “exclusive titles”. Sony has numerous franchises that they own, along with third party companies that would be willing to give them great exclusives (like From Software and Square Enix). This is where Microsoft has fallen flat, as they only really have Halo and Gears of War (and maybe Minecraft, if they want to open a huge can of worms and make that Xbox One exclusive).

Gears of War has a thriving online community that has been cultivated carefully by the people at Xbox. While it has yet to achieve the popularity of Halo as a competitive game, it still has a big fanbase.

During the Christmas period of 2014, Gears of War 3 held a series of special events that players could engage in over the holiday season. This event was known as “Gearmas” and it featured new Christmas items that you could use to customize your character. The Gearmas matches also included special battles where you could not use regular weapons and had to rely on melee attacks – chainsaws – to win.

2. DUNGEON CRAWL STONE SOUP – DANTE’S NORTH POLE

It is not unusual for a brand new video game to cost around fifty or sixty dollars. For the budget-conscious among us, it might be worth checking out a game like Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup, a totally free game that offers more gameplay than most full price titles.

Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup is an open source RPG that has been receiving regular updates since 2006. The game is a modern take on the roguelike genre and follows an adventurer on their journey through increasingly deadly dungeons. Dungeon Crawl is Dark Souls levels of deadly and you shouldn’t expect to complete it quickly.

When playing Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup through a browser, the content of the game can change depending on the date. If you try and play the game over the holiday season, then the level of Hell known as Cocytus will have its name changed to North Pole. The powerful giant who guards this realm, Antaeus, will be dressed in a Santa outfit.

1. HITMAN – FINISHING WHAT KEVIN MCCALLISTER STARTED

The seventh mission of Hitman: Blood Money is called “You Better Watch Out“. You must kill a pornography tycoon who is trying to blackmail a local senator. This requires Agent 47 to kill the man during a Christmas event. One of the possible methods for completing this mission involves stealing the outfit of a mall Santa, and infiltrating a party.

This would not be the last time that the Hitman series decided to do a Christmas themed level. It was recently announced that the latest Hitman game is getting an update that adds a new mission. The so-called “Holiday Hoarders” mission follows Agent 47 as he must kill two American criminals that are hiding in Paris after they botched a series of break-ins. These two criminals are based on the Wet Bandits from the Home Alone movies. Agent 47 doesn’t need a jar of marbles or a creepy old man with a shovel to deal with burglars; chances are, he’s just going to end up shooting them after getting frustrated with trying to do the mission the stealthy way.

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9 Gifs People Made Hella Violent for No Apparent Reason

9 Gifs People Made Hella Violent for No Apparent Reason

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Violent Street Fight & Knockout Compilation

Violent Street Fight & Knockout Compilation

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Ready to indulge in some schadenfreude?  Let's watch some people lose some brain cells.


8 Of The Most Violent Episodes To Ever Air On TV

8 Of The Most Violent Episodes To Ever Air On TV

Why are human beings fascinated by depictions of violence? Perhaps it allows us to experience the darkest, most extreme moments of humanity from a safe distance. Or perhaps we just like the blood and guts. Whatever the reason, if you’re in the mood for something dark, please peruse these episodes of television with stunningly sick portrayals of graphic violence. But be warned — there are both depictions of disturbing materials and some light spoilers ahead. I’ll let you decide which is worse.

 

"Home", The X-Files

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In a television series like The X-Files, so full of boogeymen and horror, how do you stand out when it comes to sheer disturbing gruesomeness? By starting with the rotted corpse of a baby (a baby!) and ramp up in intensity from there. Originally airing in 1996, "Home" is simultaneously revered and reviled by X-Files fans and creators alike. It features incest, a matriarch without any limbs, and a group of inbred, deformed brothers (the ironically named Peacocks) who resort to violence when their way of life is threatened. This episode was so shocking, it was never aired again on Fox until 1999, promoted as a "banned episode" for a Halloween special.

 

"Coquilles", Hannibal

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Gone too soon but not forgotten, Hannibal made a gourmet meal out of horrible violence, with intricately crafted grotesqueries that provoked wonder and even beauty in spite of (perhaps because of?) their brutality. "Coquilles" took this aesthetic to its logical extreme, featuring images of "angels" made by skinning the backs of humans and displaying the flesh as "wings". No, Bryan Fuller’s camera does not sensitively cut away; we see every bit of viscera on these victims. This kind of stuff would be insane on an HBO show; the fact that it aired on a primetime network television NBC drama is downright ludicrous.

 

"Treehouse Of Horror V", The Simpsons

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For this Simpsons Halloween episode, the writers made the deliberate decision to add in as much graphic violence as possible, and boy howdy does it show. From Groundskeeper Willie getting axed in every story, to children being ground up and eaten by adults, to an ending musical number performed by the Simpsons who have suddenly turned inside out, this episode aims to provoke and succeeds. Perhaps we should’ve listened to Marge in the opening sequence, when she warned the episode was too gory to even show.

 

"JSS", The Walking Dead

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Calling The Walking Dead a violent show is like calling a chocolate milkshake yummy — of course it is, what did you expect? For my money, "JSS" stands above the pack because its violence and brutality features no zomb-- sorry, walkers. Instead, the acts of terror are perpetrated by humans against each other, adding to the time-honored zombie narrative tradition that humans are the true monster. The group of murderous folks in this episode, known as the Wolves, are truly unrepentant, with all kinds of horribly specific methods of murder explored. The episode title letters stand for "just survive somehow". The question is, at what cost?

 

"The Rains of Castamere", Game of Thrones

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I’d like to think that somewhere, a happy couple ready to take the plunge into marriage was going to innocently call their ceremony a "Red Wedding". Perhaps it was as part of a theme — the groomsmen and bridesmaids would all wear red, there would be red tablecloths at the reception, there would be Hawaiian Punch instead of champagne. Then, this episode of Game of Thrones aired, and they had to hastily change a bunch of banners to say "Read Wedding" and throw a bunch of books around to justify the change. Anyway, this episode features a character stabbing a pregnant woman directly in the stomach, earning it a horrifying spot on this list.

 

"Be Still My Heart", ER

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Much of the blood and guts in ER is of a medical, clinical nature, meaning it’s a little more palatable than many of the deliberate acts of violence portrayed on this list. However, the season six episode "Be Still My Heart" decided it wanted to play rough, ending with the brutally graphic stabbing of two main cast members by a schizophrenic patient — all during the middle of a Valentine’s Day party. Would they have pulled this kind of stunt while the Cloon-dog was still a cast member? Doubtful.

 

"The Getaway", Dexter

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Fortunately, the pool of blood Dexter’s baby is sitting in does not belong to the baby. Unfortunately, it belongs to Rita, Dexter’s wife, who is lying in a bathtub of her own blood. This moment of severe familicide is thanks to the Trinity Killer, the big bad of season four, whom Dexter dispatched earlier in what was supposed to be a gruesomely cathartic moment of release. For a show founded on death, murder, and mayhem, this episode stands out to me not just because of the gore, but the emotional violence weighed on Dexter, and the notion that the Trinity Killer had the last macabre laugh, even after death.

 

"The Thing In The Pit", Spartacus: Blood and Sand

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For a show that has "blood" in the dang title, you’ve got to go really far to shock. And "The Thing In The Pit" goes far, all right. So far, in fact, that where it lands isn’t even on most maps. A dishonored Spartacus finds himself in the Pits, fighting brutally for sheer survival. The fight scenes in Spartacus are always spectacularly gory, yet this episode goes the extra mile by featuring an enemy who wears the skinned faces of fallen opponents as a mask. How do we learn this information? Oh, by seeing the enemy kill someone, skin their face, and wear it as a mask. Maybe next episode we give "sand" a chance? Seems a lot more peaceful.

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Police Respond To Lindsay Lohan And Fiancé Egor Tarabasov Fighting On A Balcony

Police Respond To Lindsay Lohan And Fiancé Egor Tarabasov Fighting On A Balcony

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The more we learn about Lindsay Lohan’s  tumultuous relationship with her 22-year-old fiancé  Egor Tarabasov, the more toxic it sounds. Lohan has already shared (and deleted) accusations on Instagram that Tarabasov was cheating on her before reports surfaced that the actress fled London because Tarabasov was allegedly physically abusing her.

 

On Monday, The Sun published grainy video that purportedly shows Lohan arguing with Tarabasov on the balcony of her London apartment. It was filmed at 5 a.m. on Saturday morning by a neighbor. “Please please please. He just strangled me,” said Lohan. “He almost killed me. Everybody will know. Get out of my house.”

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From The Sun:

She added: “No Egor you’ve been strangling me constantly. You can’t strangle a woman constantly and beat the shit out of her and think it’s ok. Everybody saw you touch me. It’s filmed. Get out! Get out”.

Ten minutes later police arrived after receiving reports of a “woman in distress” – forcing their way into the property – only to find it empty after going inside.

Lohan was heard shouting to Tarabasov that she didn’t love him anymore and that the two were “finished.”

The police eventually determined that no crime was committed so no arrests were made.

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Four Months As A Private Prison Guard

Four Months as a Private Prison Guard

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"I started applying for jobs in private prisons because I wanted to see the inner workings of an industry that holds 131,000 of the nation's 1.6 million prisoners. As a journalist, it's nearly impossible to get an unconstrained look inside our penal system. When prisons do let reporters in, it's usually for carefully managed tours and monitored interviews with inmates. Private prisons are especially secretive. Their records often aren't subject to public access laws; CCA has fought to defeat legislation that would make private prisons subject to the same disclosure rules as their public counterparts. And even if I could get uncensored information from private prison inmates, how would I verify their claims? I keep coming back to this question: Is there any other way to see what really happens inside a private prison?" -- Shane Bauer


12 OF THE MOST BRUTAL, VIOLENT MOVIES YOU MIGHT NOT EVEN BE ABLE TO FINISH

12 OF THE MOST BRUTAL, VIOLENT MOVIES YOU MIGHT NOT EVEN BE ABLE TO FINISH

It's interesting how different things in movies affected each person in a totally unique way. Some of us have an incredibly high tolerance for shocking onscreen moments, but most of us, at some point, draw a line. These are the movies that will be over the line for some or very close to it for others. Here are 12 of the most brutal and violet movies you might not even be able to finish.

1. "Martyrs" (2008)
13 of the Most Brutal, Violent Movies You Might Not Even Be Able to Finish
"Martyrs" is probably the most fascinating movie on the list, but it's certainly one of those you'll watch once and be all set after that. It starts out seeming like it's just going to be a home invasion story, but then takes a sharp turn into, well, I don't want to spoil it for you, but people get skinned alive and you'll see people getting punched in a way that's never bothered you as much in a movie. Just make sure you watch the original and not the subpar remake.

2. "Eden Lake" (2008)
13 of the Most Brutal, Violent Movies You Might Not Even Be Able to Finish
A couple tries to have a relaxing weekend together, but a group of kids and teens start harassing them. Seems innocent enough, right? Haha no. Every time you think, "Oh things are about to turn around," they get exponentially worse. By the time it's over you'll just want someone to hug you and let you know life is going to be OK.

3. "The Human Centipede 2" (2011)
13 of the Most Brutal, Violent Movies You Might Not Even Be Able to Finish
The first "The Human Centipede" was gross, but it was the kind of gross where you'd turn your head and laugh because what was happening was so ridiculous. And then came the sequel. It shed itself of all the silliness and became so incredibly dark and brutal, it seemed to only exist to try and shock and offend. There's a moment with a baby that's so troubling I honestly regret ever seeing it.

4. "The Woman" (2011)
13 of the Most Brutal, Violent Movies You Might Not Even Be Able to Finish
"The Woman" doesn't have the blood and guts of others on the list, but there's something about it that just sticks with you. The brutality isn't dealt out by your typical villains and monsters; it's by a family that, by all accounts, seems completely normal on the surface. Then you start to realize how deep things go and how the choices of parents affect the choices of their children. Just wait until you see how the whole thing ends.

5. "Halloween" (2007)
13 of the Most Brutal, Violent Movies You Might Not Even Be Able to Finish
Rob Zombie is known for taking films to the extreme, but usually he creates his own world. The world of Michael Myers had already been established, so seeing Zombie's vision of it was interesting, to say the least. Everyone seems like they need to take a hot shower, and there are a few scenes that are so troubling and gratuitous, you feel bad even watching them. Even characters you dislike die in ways that almost make you pity them. I swear the scene in the woods where Michael kills his bully seems like it lasts for a week.

6. "Inside" (2007)
13 of the Most Brutal, Violent Movies You Might Not Even Be Able to Finish
It's the story of a woman trying to take a pregnant woman's baby by cutting it out of her with a knife. Can you imagine watching this while you were pregnant? You'd spend the next nine months of your life making sure every window was locked and alarms were installed on every door. Even if you aren't pregnant, it's one hardcore troubling ride.

7. "Megan is Missing" (2011)
13 of the Most Brutal, Violent Movies You Might Not Even Be Able to Finish
You might not have heard of this one because it didn't really get any sort of release, but if you're a horror fan that digs to find hidden gems, you may have come across this one. The movie isn't that well made and honestly it's not that good, but the final scene is almost painful to watch. The story follows a teen girl trying to find her friend who was taken by an online predator. The final scene includes a sexual assault on a teen that feels like an eternity; then we get to watch her slowly being stuffed into a barrel where she continuously screams and begs for her life. Fun times!

8. "Cannibal Holocaust" (1980)
13 of the Most Brutal, Violent Movies You Might Not Even Be Able to Finish
The original found footage film is certainly not for the faint of heart. Animals actually get slaughtered onscreen, and the scenes of the cannibalistic tribe murdering outsiders were so vivid and grotesque the director was arrested because they believed he documented actual murders. It's one of the oldest on the list and still one of the most brutal.

9. "Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom" (1975)
13 of the Most Brutal, Violent Movies You Might Not Even Be Able to Finish
As far as plots go, there isn't much of one. Basically a bunch of rich libertines kidnap 18 teens and torture them in every way you could possibly imagine. They're sexually degraded, psychologically tormented and brutally murdered. To say it's troubling is a severe understatement.

10. "The Passion of the Christ" (2004)
13 of the Most Brutal, Violent Movies You Might Not Even Be Able to Finish
It's shocking that so many churches took their congregations to watch a movie that's gorier and more violent than 99 percent of other theatrically released movies. Reading the story of the crucifixion of Jesus in the Bible was vivid, but seeing it playing out onscreen was downright haunting. This is probably the only movie on the list that your mom has watched.

11. "High Tension" (2003)
13 of the Most Brutal, Violent Movies You Might Not Even Be Able to Finish
"High Tension" gets a lot of praise, but it's only from those that enjoy brutality, because the story makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. I mean, at first it seems plausible enough, but when the twist is revealed and you spend any time at all thinking about it, everything totally falls apart. If the extreme violence doesn't turn you off, you should watch it just for the absurd twist.

12. "A Serbian Film" (2010)
13 of the Most Brutal, Violent Movies You Might Not Even Be Able to Finish
Very few movies would I tell you to never watch. Even the most poorly made movie can be hate watched or unintentionally provide a few laughs, but that is certainly not the case with "A Serbian Film." Babies are sexually abused, the murders are repulsive and there's necrophilia, which is more necrophilia than anyone should want in a movie. This is one time a ban on distribution wasn't a bad thing at all.

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Violent Seattle Protesters Injure Police With Molotov Cocktails And The Video Footage Is Grade-A Horrifying

 

Violent Seattle Protesters Injure Police With Molotov Cocktails And The Video Footage Is Grade-A Horrifying

Police fire rubber bullets at protesters after they threw rocks and fireworks at them along 2nd Ave at the annual May Day Anti-Capitalist March Sunday, May 1, 2016, in Seattle, Wash. (Bettina Hansen/The Seattle Times via AP)

Nothing better than when the first of the month lands on a Monday. That way, if you perchance happen to get a riot that day as well, the riot’s kicking off two things for the price of one. Much like the riot that erupted in Seattle yesterday during the May Day celebration that ended up injuring 5 cops. Via Fox News:

“Seattle police said late Sunday that five officers were injured after anti-capitalist protesters pelted them with rocks, flares, bricks and Molotov cocktails after a May Day gathering in the city turned violent. The department said one of the injured officers was treated for a head laceration after being hit by a rock; a second was injured, but not burned after being hit by a Molotov cocktail; and a third was bitten, though it was not immediately clear by whom. Details on the other two officers’ injuries weren’t immediately available. The station reported that several of the demonstrators carried signs, including one that said,  “We Are Ungovernable.”

https://twitter.com/foxandfriends/status/727077329176920064
Probably the most terrifying part of that whole video is that I’m literally unable to tell where in the world the footage is coming from. My mind is telling me Seattle, but my eyes and ears are telling me the Middle East. The last time I heard about a Molotov Cocktail on American soil I was watching C’s friends die in A Bronx Tale (Spoiler alert if you’ve never seen Bronx Tale: Don’t get too attached to the C’s friends). Whoever thought the city of Seattle would become the platform for long-term societal unrest and violence? Also, the ungovernable stance is a little worrying. Yes, I get that I’m a white dude who could never understand what’s it like and that currently it’s trendy to hate police because of N.W.A. and Beyonce, but calling yourself ungovernable while simultaneously throwing explosives at and biting police officers seems kind of over the top to me. I mean, who bites police officers? That’s like some straight-up crackhead shit. Also, who wants to be ungovernable. I don’t want to be tossed out of America and have to go live in a country where there actually is no government. If anything, I’m highly governable. If the trade-off to having to deal with student loans and having the government search my internet history is being able to call the police when crazy people start throwing Molotov Cocktails through my window, I’m governable. I’m governable as fuck.

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10 Violent Events That Will Hit Our Solar System

 

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Space can appear to be peaceful, a silent harmony filled with beautiful telescopic images of galaxies and rainbow nebulae. In reality, however, space is so weird and violent that it continues to astonish—and creep out—even the most experienced scientists. Some violent events are predicted to happen fairly close to home and may even occur while humanity still exists.

10  Ringed Mars

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New research has determined that Mars might one day kill its nearest moon, Phobos. Just 22 kilometers (14 mi) wide, Phobos is one of two moons orbiting the planet. With every passing century, the orbit of Phobos shrinks and brings it closer to Mars by 2 meters (7 ft).

Ultimately, this moon will break apart from tidal stresses caused by the red planet, although the process could take up to 40 million years. In the end, Mars will be short one moon but have a Saturn-like ring to take its place.

Over the next few million years, pieces of the doomed moon will rain down on the equatorial region of Mars. This could pose a problem for any of our bases in the area—assuming that the human race is still alive then.

But the event firmly holds the interest of scientists today. Phobos is a unique moon in our solar system. It belongs to a group of moons that self-destruct because they migrate too close to their planets.

Phobos is the last one in existence. Its fatal destiny can give researchers valuable information about the early solar system and the deaths of the other moons.

9  Crumbling Moon

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In the distant future, our Moon is also predicted to become a ring around Earth. Luckily for lunar lovers and werewolves the world over, this won’t happen for another five billion years.

Unlike the situation with Phobos, the culprit responsible for our Moon’s destruction is not the planet that it orbits but the flaming ball at the heart of our solar system. Although the Sun is currently stable, it will one day enter its red giant phase, a solar event that will most likely tear the Moon apart.

The Moon is presently moving away from Earth by 4.0 centimeters (1.5 in) per year. But when the Sun swells during its red giant phase, its atmosphere will push the Moon so close to Earth that tidal forces will rip the Moon apart.

A ring of lunar debris—approximately 37,000 kilometers (23,000 mi) in diameter—will encircle the Earth like a ring of Saturn. Similar to Phobos, the ring will eventually disappear as the lunar debris rains down on Earth.

8  Milkomeda

The Milky Way is destined to smash into a neighboring galaxy called Andromeda. The consequences for both galaxies will be fatal, meaning that the Milky Way as we know it only has about four billion years left.

Gravity is drawing the Milky Way and Andromeda toward each other at the dizzying pace of 402,000 kilometers per hour (250,000 mph). When the two spiral galaxies collide, they will give birth to a new galaxy.

The collision will be a spectacular cosmic event that will last an incredible one billion years. During that phase, the galaxies will go through the motions of coming together, pulling away, and once again embracing each other in a yo-yo dance until the union is complete.

Despite all the stars in these galaxies, researchers believe that any collisions of the stars are highly unlikely. In that sense, the birth of the new galaxy—dubbed “Milkomeda” by astronomers—won’t kill off Earth or even our solar system.

However, the Sun will be so hot that the oceans will have boiled away by then. Milkomeda will be a reddish elliptical galaxy. Earth will reside on the outskirts of Milkomeda with the rest of our solar system.

7  Killer Cloud

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When researchers ran simulations, they discovered that our solar system might eventually hit a deadly space fog. The tiny specks may be lethal to all life on Earth.

When this killer cloud of dust and gas arrives, there won’t be much fanfare. It won’t block out the Sun or roll toward the solar system with an ominous black thunder.

The danger lies in its denseness. At least 1,000 times heavier than anything that Earth is orbiting through now, this cloud can act like a physical force, pushing back the Sun’s protective heliosphere that shields us from space nasties like cosmic rays.

When the cloud meets Earth, the dust and gas can erode the oxygen in our atmosphere. Cosmic rays will zap the world, endangering all living things with a deadly radiation.

This disaster is one of the closest to us from a time standpoint. According to scientists, it’s less than four light-years away. In cosmic terms, that’s a mere tick of the clock. But in human years, this corrosive cloud is still a few millennia away.

6  Carrington Repeat

On September 1, 1859, an amateur astronomer named Richard Carrington detected the worst solar storm in history. Called the Carrington Event, it hurled a coronal mass ejection (CME) at Earth in what proved to be a direct hit.

Back then, the only damage was to telegraph systems. But in modern society, a repeat of the Carrington Event would introduce mankind to an unprecedented disaster. The power grid would likely fry, and millions of homes and businesses would lose power. Damaged electrical systems and transformers could take months to repair or replace.

Financial recovery could take years. Storage of food and medicine would become extremely difficult. All electrical services, including communication, would be affected or even completely shut down.

Frighteningly, there have been a few near misses. In 2012, Earth missed a catastrophe by about one week when a CME that surpassed the power of the Carrington Event just missed our planet. Had the solar storm occurred earlier, scientists believe that the damage would still be hampering society today.

Modern society is in an especially vulnerable position because we depend so greatly on electricity. CMEs can’t be deflected or even noticed until about one hour before they hit.

Solar scientists counted 15,000 CMEs between 1996 and 2010. They believe that it’s only a matter of time—possibly within the next decade—before a CME as big as the Carrington Event zaps the Earth.

5  Death Stars

A huge cluster of comets called the Oort cloud forms a “bubble” around our Sun. If a star should move through the Oort cloud or simply get close enough for the star’s gravitational force to affect objects in the Oort cloud, the dislodged objects could fall into the inner solar system and possibly wreak havoc among the planets.

Scientists have now identified several such “death stars” homing in on the Oort cloud. The most dangerous one, an orange dwarf called HIP-85605, has a 90 percent chance of plowing through the Oort cloud. Luckily, its arrival is still over 240,000 years off.

Gliese 710, another star with the same odds, will be in the neighborhood in one millennium or so. Even better, 12 more stars will buzz our solar system in a similar fashion in the next two million years.

The chances of a collision between an Oort object and Earth is small but not impossible. There are two impact craters on Earth that can probably be linked to the star HIP103738, which passed close to the Sun almost four million years ago.

4  Parasitic Dwarf

4-T-Pyxidis

About 3,260 light-years away from our solar system—which is close in cosmic terms—a binary star system called T Pyxidis contains a Sunlike star and a white dwarf that have a parasitic relationship.

The white dwarf is a volatile parasite that consumes hydrogen-rich gas off its companion and erupts with thermonuclear blasts every 20 years as a result. In terms of danger to Earth, these explosions are like popping bubble wrap.

The real problem will occur when the white dwarf goes supernova after accumulating too much mass from its neighbor. The explosion will be of such epic proportions that it will kill the white dwarf and endanger Earth with the energy of 1,000 solar flares. It may even destroy Earth’s ozone layer after gamma rays cause nitrous oxides to build up in our atmosphere.

Researchers estimate that the dwarf star’s violent death will occur about 10 million years from now. However, if the white dwarf accrues mass at a faster rate than currently calculated, the explosion could happen sooner.

3  Planet Smashup

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Photo credit: NASA/JPL-Caltech

Planetary orbital paths aren’t stable and become even less so as time goes by. When scientists ran computer simulations on future planetary orbits, they found something surprising and perhaps a little disturbing.

In a couple of billion years, there’s a small possibility that the planets within our solar system will collide with one another. The path in which Mercury orbits around the Sun might widen enough to cross roads with Venus. Such an encounter could send Mercury hurtling into the Sun, out of the solar system, or on a collision course with Earth.

However, when researchers ran 2,500 simulations of different planetary orbits, only 25 indicated such a dangerous destabilization of Mercury’s orbit. Also, if Mercury crashes into Venus or the Sun, the other planets won’t be affected.

In a less likely event, Mercury might become destabilized by passing too close to Jupiter’s gravitational forces. In turn, this would destabilize Mars. The red planet would become an indirect bullet that Earth would not be able to dodge. By passing too close to Earth, Mars would cause an Earth-Venus smashup by upsetting the orbit of Venus.

2  The Big Change

Researchers believe that there are several ways that the universe may permanently go poof. While most of them may happen after humanity is long gone, there may be one exception called the Big Change.

It’s similar to a simple experiment with water. If the water and glass are both exceptionally clean, then the water won’t freeze even if it’s kept just below the freezing point.

The water would be supercooled but remain liquid because it needs an object for ice to form against. Drop in a piece of ice, and the water will freeze swiftly. The universe is possibly in such a supercooled state but in terms of its vacuum.

Quantum physics states that even complete vacuums hold a speck of energy. But the danger lurks in vacuums that remarkably have even less energy. If two vacuums with a difference in energy meet, the result will be catastrophic.

Like the water, our universe—which is the vacuum with more energy—is waiting for a hair trigger to change its form as we know it. If a lower-energy vacuum somehow popped up in the universe, the newly born vacuum would rapidly create a bubble that would expand at the speed of light. It would destroy everything it engulfs—humans, galaxies, and the universe.

1  Wolf-Rayet Star

The constellation Sagittarius contains a potential threat that could send more life on Earth the way of the dinosaurs. A fiery spiral called WR 104 holds two stars at its center, orbiting each other while nearing the end of their lives.

Both are destined to self-destruct as supernovae. In fact, one is already in the last phase before its massive stellar explosion. Such a star is called a Wolf-Rayet and is considered a ticking time bomb in space.

This particular Wolf-Rayet may go supernova in the next few hundred thousand years. Due to its position, it could shoot gamma rays toward Earth. Gamma ray bursts—currently believed to be the strongest explosions in the universe—pack more energy in one minute than the Sun can hoard during its life span of 10 billion years.

Since the beams move at the speed of light, we wouldn’t see them coming. The WR 104 spiral system may be around 8,000 light-years away, but it can still wreak havoc on Earth. If these gamma rays hit us, there could be extinctions on a grand scale. We would experience agricultural disasters, acid rain, and starvation for the survivors.

A cooler climate and a thinned ozone layer would allow more harmful ultraviolet rays to penetrate the atmosphere. Anyone living on the side of Earth that faces the impact would experience radiation similar to a nuclear detonation and suffer radiation sickness.

 

10 Violent Events That Will Hit Our Solar System

 

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WARNING CLAYMATION GORE – EXTREMELY VIOLENT ‘SIMPSONS’ COUCH GAG IS DANGEROUSLY NSFL

 

WARNING

DO NOT WATCH IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH OR HAVE A WEAK STOMACH.  LOTS OF GORE.  ULTRA VIOLENT.

ENJOY!

HackHack2

Well then. That was disturbing. Is this the new ‘Tree House of Horror XXVII’ couch gag? Writer, director, and animator Lee Hardcastle. You’re a genius dude, keep up the brutal work.

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WARNING CLAYMATION GORE – EXTREMELY VIOLENT ‘SIMPSONS’ COUCH GAG IS DANGEROUSLY NSFL


11 Horrifically Violent Animal Mating Rituals

1

Quolls: Death By Fornication

While you may not have already heard of a quoll, if you know enough about their mating rituals, you won't soon forget the species. Every winter, the females all go into heat at the same time, causing a breeding frenzy within the species. The males will try to mate with as many females as possible, grabbing their newest mate by the neck and dragging them off to do the nasty. Average mating sessions last up to three hours, but can go on as long as a full day. That's because the males don't release very many sperm at a time, so they must ejaculate multiple times to ensure their genes are passed on. Like many human males trying to compensate for something, the quoll males are violent and ruthless. In fact, throughout all the biting, scratching and screeching, many females end up killed in the process, only to be eaten by their angry partner.

As if nature wished to compensate the females for their suffering, many of the males put out so much energy during the mating season that they lose weight, start balding and die within only a few weeks of their sexual rampage. (Buy it Here | Photo)

2

Bedbugs: Impaler? I Hardly Know Her

Why bother courting and mating when you can instead just impale and run? That seems to be the thought process behind the bedbug's reproduction method. Indeed, rather than finding the female's reproductive organs and getting a little frisky, this quick-moving bug just stabs his lady in her stomach, deposits his sperm and leaves. The sperm then travel through the female's blood stream into sperm receptacles and eventually into her waiting ovaries.

This type of mating behavior is known by the terrifying title of “traumatic insertion,” and it certainly lives up to its name. At least when it's happening to something as horrible as bed bugs it's a lot harder to feel bad for the victims. (Source 1 | Source 2 | Photo)

3

Squid: Those Slippery, No-Good Cephalopods

Squids may not seem like the sexiest animals around, but as it turns out, they might be some of the kinkiest. The male bioluminescent Dana Octopus Squid uses its beak and sharp claws to pierce holes in its mate before using a penis-like appendage to insert sperm into the cuts. On the other hand, the Greater Hooked Squid just bypasses the stabbing step by using sperm that independently burrow their way into the female's skin, using an enzyme that dissolves tissue.

The Sharpear Enope Squid is the first-known transgender squid, as some males not only resemble females in appearance, but even have female sex glands. While the debate is still out on what evolutionary benefit this provides, some researchers speculate that it allows these individuals to get closer to potential mates without being detected. (Source | Photo)

4

Seals: Humping Their Way Onto The Endangered Species List

Is there anything cuter than a baby seal? There is when it's been crushed to death by a horde of frisky male seals who wanted to get in the action when they heard another couple mating. Think that's a rare occurrence? Think again. Some colonies have been known to lose 2/3 of their cubs this way. That's why the babies grow up so darn fast –the sooner they bulk up, the sooner they can avoid being crushed to death.

Of course, babies aren't the only ones at risk. The male Southern Elephant Seal often crushes the female's skull in his jaws during copulation and female Monk Seals are often mobbed to death by excited males when they go into heat. In fact, endangered seal species are some of the only at-risk creatures to be put on libido-suppressing drugs in order to stop them from sexing themselves into extinction. (Buy it Here | Photo)

5

Seed Beetles: Take A Stab At Quenching Your Thirst

There are over 350,000 species of beetle and their reproductive methods vary drastically. When it comes to beetle sex though, few have it as bad as the female Seed Beetle. That's because the male has a disturbingly spiky penis that always injures the female in the process of copulation. Researchers have concluded that larger spikes somehow help the males win out in the genetic arms race, and that those with the biggest, sharpest spikes also sire the most offspring.

As for why the females would even agree to mate with a partner knowing they would have to go through such a traumatizing experience, scientists have an answer for that one too. It turns out that because the beetles live in such an arid climate, the ejaculate fluid provides females with much needed hydration. When the insects are provided with ample water, female interest in mating drops drastically, but when things get dry, they suddenly have an insatiable thirst for love. Well, at least they get something out of the horrific experience. (Source 1 | Source 2 |Photo)

6

Flatworms: Fencing As Foreplay

Sex might seem easier for hermaphroditic species, but that's very often not the case. All sea slugs are hermaphrodites. But when it comes to flatworms, fighting for the right to be the father can be a dangerous duty. The animals all have a dagger-like penis that they use to hunt for food, but when it comes time to mate, the two flatworms will go about fencing one another in order to avoid becoming the mother. When one of the fighters is stabbed, it will become the mother, meaning it has to give up substantial energy resources to its new brood while the winner will continue to enjoy the life of a bachelor flatworm. (Source 1 | Source 2 | Photo)

7

Slugs and Snails: Playing Cupid Is Less Romantic Than It Sounds

Like flatworms, snails and slugs are hermaphrodites that have to battle as part of their reproduction process. While they might not shake their penises at each other, their mating ritual is certainly just as strange.

For one thing, the creature's genitals are hidden on their necks behind their eye stalks. Since they don't actually have penises, they instead have an archery battle, shooting off so-called “love darts” at one another. The darts, made mostly from calcium, do not contain sperm, but instead cause the victim to become more receptive to the shooter's sperm, giving it an edge in sharing its genes with the next generation.
Shooting love darts can be rather dangerous and some victims have even been known to be shot in the eye and brain in the process –but don't worry, they survive, they just carry around a giant dart for a while.

Of course, dart shooting isn't the only weird bedroom behavior these invertebrates get into. The Banana Slug has a penis of around 6 to 8 inches, roughly the size of its full body. When fertilizing one another, the larger slug will often get his penis stuck inside the other. That would be bad in any situation, but the impatient partner makes it infinitely worse by biting off the offending member in order be able to get going a little bit sooner. Ouch! (Source 1 | Source 2 |Photo)

8

Bees: Pop Goes The Penis

You know how bees often die after stinging humans? As it turns out, this same fate awaits the males who mate with the queen. Before mating, the new queen will need to kill off all of her sister siblings, ensuring she will remain the unchallenged monarch of the hive. Once that messy business is taken care of, the virgin queen will take a mating flight with about a dozen males. While the special mating males, selected from the tens of thousands of other male bees in the colony, might seem lucky at first, their luck is soon to change. That's because they die as their penises explode (audibly even) while inside the queen. She's then loaded up with all the sperm she'll need for the rest of her life, which entails laying up to fifteen hundred eggs per day for three full years. (Buy it Here | Photo)

9

Wasp Spiders: Breaking Off A Piece of That…Literally

You probably know that black widows often eat their mates, but as it turns out, this is hardly the most violent example of spider copulation. Male wasp spiders allow their genitals to break off inside their partner just before she attacks and eats him. For a long time, researchers believed this was an attempt to escape their eminent demise. But it turns out, breaking off their sex organs had no impact on whether or not the creature survived, but it did make it less likely that the female's subsequent mates would be able to pass on their genes. Females with genitals already broken off inside of them ate their mates much more quickly, providing the males with even less time to attempt to successfully mate first.

Wasp spiders aren't the only species of spiders to lose their junk in the mating process. In fact, the Tent Cobweb Weaver voluntarily chews off one of his sex organs before mating so he can pass his genes along to his mate faster, thereby being able to impregnate her before competing spiders get the chance. (Source 1 | Buy it Here | Photo)

10

Octopuses: Watch Which Hand You Shake

Next time you see an octopus tentacle, just remember, you could be looking at one of his arms, or, at his penis. While the sex organ tentacle isn't truly a penis, in many species, it actually fills with blood and becomes erect just like a human's. Regardless of species though, the basic process involved is always the same: the male places a packet of sperm on his sex arm and then uses it to place the sperm in a slot of the female's body used for reproduction. In every species, the male's organ stays embedded in the female's body. He cannot regrow his sex tentacle and he will die within a few months.

In some species though, the process is much more bizarre. For example, the Paper Nautilus will detach his penis tentacle and allow it to swim by itself over to the female. The Blanket Octopus has a similar unobtrusive mating habit. The male, which is approximately 40,000 times smaller than the female, will swim up to his woman of choice, stick his mating arm to her body somewhere and then swim off to die. The female rarely even notices the encounter, even as the arm left behind will crawl its way around her body until it arrives in her gill slit where it will wait until her eggs are mature. At that point, she'll remove the arm, rip open the sperm packet and sprinkle it over her eggs. She may as well be adding some sugar to her iced tea. Meanwhile, her mate will almost certainly be dead by that point. (Source 1 | Buy it Here | Photo)

11

Praying Mantis: Post-Coitus Snack Anyone?

It's common knowledge that female praying mantises eat the heads of their mates during intercourse, but as it turns out, this isn't always the case. In some species, head-eating is a required part of the interaction, as it makes the male ejaculate more quickly. But in most cases, the cannibalism is actually a relatively rare behavior that occurs anywhere from 5-31% of the time. In these cases, the female will only eat the male because she's hungry and needs more sustenance in order to go on living. Remember, most animals only mate to keep their species going and a dead female isn't going to help the mantis survive as a species. When cannibalism doesn't occur, the mating ritual is actually a bit romantic, including a long mating dance and soft antennae stroking. Who knew these guys were such softies? (Source | Photo)

 

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