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Dr. Dre and Eminem

CAUTION: MANY F-BOMBS AHEAD. THIS IS THE LAST TIME WE’RE USING F–K INSTEAD OF THE REAL THING. YOU’VE BEEN F–KING WARNED.

I kind of thought this would be a tough list to fill out, as songs with “Fuck You” in them didn’t exactly spring to mind. But then I did a quick “Fuck You” Spotify search and bam! You wouldn’t believe the options. Really great stuff. So much so that I’m having trouble finalizing the list for the opposite reason: There’s just too many good “Fuck You” moments in song. One thing’s for sure, if your song is called “Fuck You,” you definitely get bonus points. Regardless of who makes the cut, like our last Fuck You think-piece, which explored the film side of Fuck You, we can learn a whole lot about living free from the Fuck Yous below. And part of living free, the only way we humans ought, is to earn that freedom, one Fuck You at a time.

“Fuck You,” CeeLo Green

Let’s get this one out of the way right at the get-go. You haters are gonna hate, and likely those who oppose overplayed songs, and rape. But regardless of CeeLo’s definitions of “passed-out” and “awake,” the guy had a mega hit for a song that was actually called “Fuck You.” Everyone sang it, too. Sure it was disguised as “Forget You” at times, but the sentiment was clear to all. And little kids loved it! The freakin’ Muppets sang it with him. On the Grammys. With Gwyneth Paltrow, for some yet to be disclosed reason. Can you imagine dressing up like a sequined peacock, surrounding yourself with singing puppets and long-legged blondes, and belting your lung-topping best Fuck You to the whole TV-watching globe? What a genius. Sure, he’s had some questionable moves since, but really, there’s nowhere to go but down from that precipice.

“Mr. Cab Driver,” Lenny Kravitz

In general, I feel like an artist means it more when they title the song “Fuck You,” but it’s hard to argue with the vitriol in Lenny’s Moment here. Which is totally understandable in a pre-Uber society. Since my Pre-Weed memories far exceed my Post-Weed ones, I can’t say for sure, but I believe because of this Moment, it’s the first time I ever put a face to the name “Lenny Kravitz.” So I guess what I’m saying is that the moment I identified Lenny as an entity, was the exact moment he said Fuck You to all those cabbies who wouldn’t. That’s Fuck You Art.

“Fuck You,” Bad Religion

Lead singer Greg Graffin’s scathing sneer delivers a venomous Fuck You. It stings with the poison of righteousness. He’s not acting; he means Fuck You, Revolution Style. Fuck it all. He cares very little if it all comes down. Or very a lot; I don’t know, nihilism always confused me. Regardless, next time you’re saying Fuck You to someone, try putting a little bit of that revolutionary flare into it. Be righteous with your Fuck You. Like Che Guevara. See how far that got him? Sure, execution sounds painful, but he inspired fashionistas and Sandinistas alike. Unfortunately, Graffin and the boys probably wouldn’t dare take any fashionista advice, which is probably why they look far less tough then they sound.

“Killing in the Name Of,” Rage Against the Machine

If Bad Religion is Che saying Fuck You, Rage is Che’s boss screaming it in your ear. By the time the final “Fuck you, I won’t do what ya tell me” rolls around, it feels like William Wallace is giving you the freedom speech. So I guess Che’s boss in this scenario would be Wallace’s boss, God. Well, first Robert the Bruce, then God. Either way, I’m ready to charge. And that’s a powerful Fuck You, since I’m a very short, weak, pacifist man-child who should not be charging anyone.

“Fuck You,” Lily Allen

Alright, enough revolution, let’s lighten it up a bit. There’s such joy in Lily’s “Fuck You” Moment, it gets right to the heart of the Exultant Fuck You, even though I’m not really sure what Lily Allen, aka Lily Rose Beatrice Cooper née Allen, has to be so hateful about. What could go wrong having a half-schlonged brother named Reek, aka Theon Greyjoy, aka Alfie Allen. Regardless of what’s bugging her, namely homophobes, what I think is most respectful of this whole moment is that it’s catchy enough to be an earworm hit, so much so that everyone just walked around singing “Fuck You” to each other. Bloody brilliant! Especially in the UK, where everyone can totally relate to a pleasant, polite “fuck you very much.” It’s really a refreshing way to be told “fuck you,” and often more effective at getting the point across.

“Fuck You,” Dr. Dre

This Moment isn’t used in the same way as we that we often associate with a good Fuck You, as it’s more of a love song than an angry one. But it’s called “Fuck You,” so it must be considered. And so it must be included, since it’s on one of the best rap albums ever to be named after a Stanley Kubrick movie. It’s also one of those rare songs that can be on a Best Valentine’s Day Love Song list and a Best Fuck You Moments in Song list at the same time.

Forgot About Dre,” Dr. Dre ft. Eminem, Hittman
Dr. Dre and Eminem
Since the above tender Moment is a must, so too must this song be, which features a powerful “fuck y’all” from the guy they told you to go see if you somehow forgot about the motherfucking Doctor. How could you? This one also gets points for Eminem not only telling you, Bitch, to “fuck you,” but also that he’ll kill your “loud ass motherfucking barking dogs.” If your Fuck You can incorporate a fuck you against your antagonist’s pets, you can really debilitate your adversary. Careful though, you don’t want to go inciting someone’s inner “Lonewolf McQuade.”

“Untouchable Face,” Ani DiFranco

Nothing says fuck you like a melodramatic, self-absorbed folk song. Plus, this is a teachable Fuck You Moment. Learn from Ani Di, learn what your pain hath wrought. And be kind people, when you can, be kind. Or feel the wrath of a powerful woman scorned. And be immortalized in song. So the lesson here is: if you break the right person’s heart, you can live forever.

“Hey Fuck You,” Beastie Boys

“So put a quarter in your ass ’cause you played yourself. And if you don’t like it, then hey, fuck you.” I recommend memorizing that line. Go ahead and give it another read. Got it? Good. Because this line can get you out of doing anything you don’t want to. No one can come back from it. It’s a line that renders your foe cold played. And if that doesn’t work, follow it up with “shabba doo, shabba dee.”

“Fuck You (An Ode To No One),” The Smashing Pumpkins

I’m not a huge Pumpkins guy, not ’cause I have anything against pumpkins, or the smashing thereof, but I just don’t really like Billy Corgan’s voice. Or his face, but that came after hearing his voice so darn much back in the mid-’90s. I guess time heals all wounds though, because I haven’t heard this song since “Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness” came out, and now, having re-listened with new ears while doing the difficult research required to vet these lists properly, I now see that this is an Infinite Fuck You song, which belongs very much on this eternal list. The best part, besides the break-it-down section, is that Billy doesn’t actually say the sacred words in the song itself, only in the title. And since it’s “An Ode to No One,” it’s actually a Fuck You to everyone.

 

THE ​TOP 10 ‘F–K YOU’ MOMENTS IN SONG

 

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