The sexy backseat rendezvous is one the finest perks of owning a car, even more so than trips to Denny’s and singing along with those ten CDs you still have lying around. Everyone remembers the first car they had sex in—and what a mess that was; dirty seats, tight spaces, shifters in places shifters should never be. Now that you’ve grown out of your teen years, you have the option to choose an automobile that best fits your particular needs and takes you from Point A to Point XXX.

Based on a strenuous obstacle course of car-coitus criteria, including the interior space, comfort, and design, these are ten cars that are perfect for automobile-based intercourse—the best kind of intercourse there is…except for the kind that happens after a funeral.

1. Tucker 48

The wide and luxurious additional space in the front seat was originally pitched as a safety feature for people to easily tuck & roll during a collision, but that added capacity is more than perfect for an in-car nooner in the driver’s seat.

2. Ford F-150

If getting all weird in a tight spot isn’t your style, you’ve got to go the classic Ford route. Throw an air mattress in the bed of the truck, or a sleeping bag made for two and start the baby-makin’ process. Make sure to pull out if you’re not planning on bring life in the world…or condoms—because they’re built tough.

3. Rolls-Royce Phantom

The element of luxury is one often overlooked during a auto-centric bang-fest—that’s more than enough reason to go old school with the Rolls-Royce. Sure, your grandpa might’ve had one (and his grandpa), but you shouldn’t let that old man smell dissuade you from getting all weird in the back. Fun fact you shouldn’t think about mid-deed: RR only uses bulls for leather, because a pregnant female gets stretch marks, which is bad for the seats. Plus, have you ever sat on leather naked? It’s sublime.

4. Honda Element

Some people can’t get sexy unless they feel natural, comfortable, and horizontal; if that’s case, you simply need a car that’s infamous for having seats that fold all the way down.—you know, like a bed. Honestly, what other benefits are there for seats that fold all the way. Unless you live in your car…which is a huge bummer.

5. Mercedes-Benz CLS63 AMG Shooting Brake

The insane amount of trunk space in the Shooting Brake is perfect for any number of scenarios, including a surplus of grocery bags or writhing naked bodies. All “junk in the trunk” jokes aside, the backside of this Mercedes makes for a killer pseudo-bed for discrete sex—if you’re into the whole discretion scene. Bonus: 557 hp helps you get to a desolate area that much faster.

6. Toyota Prius

Finally, a way to drive Prius that doesn’t put you on the same level as dudes who wear socks with sandals—not that there’s anything wrong with that. The Prius makes the cut for its unique ability to creep through neighborhoods and cities without sound or suspicion—i.e. the perfect post-coital getaway car.

7. 2015 FIAT 500c

Maybe you’re not f*cking in cars for convenience, maybe you’re doing it in hopes of getting caught. If that’s the case, the Fiat convertible is the exhibitionist’s dream ride. You see how wide that top opens? Even an astronaut could spot the depravity happening in the back of this devil mid-orbit—now that’s doing exhibition correctly.

8. The Rinspeed XchangE

For the hardcore perverted law-breakers who want to get their groove on whilst in motion, the clear choice will someday be The Rinspeed XchangX. While still in concept mode, this self-driving and highly modified Tesla allows passengers and drivers alike to do whatever they damn please as they cruise down the highway worry-free. You can read, chat, play games, do hand-stuff, whatever. The future is here.

9. Airstream Interstate Grand Tour

When all’s said and done, maybe you just want a large space where you can get real comfortable with your partner of choice. Airstream owners are lucky, because every single time they have sex, it’s done on wheels—but not everyone has the space or money for a big camper. The Grand Tour gives you a fold-out sleeper sofa, shower, TV, and microwave* in a small vehicle, meaning you can bone all over this thing and then watch You’ve Got Mail after.

*And curtains, for the not-in-a-Fiat crowd.

10. Jeep Wrangler

Car sex is all about making do with the situation you’ve been handed, but sometimes you just have to shout to the heavens: “I want more, damn it!” The Jeep Wrangler is the vehicle for the couple who will move mountains to get their nut. It’s a rugged and customizable ride complete with stain-proof rubber floors and a set of doors you can legally remove—which totally ups your horizontal game.

One reply on “THE 10 BEST CARS TO HAVE SEX IN”

I have medical stirrups, in the back of my white van. And duct tape. Want to check it out?

Just kidding!

Get into the van.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

More Boobs - Less Politics ​​

And Now... A Few Links From Our Sponsors