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The 19 Best Pun Jokes You Will Hear Today

We know that dark humor is not for everyone. The same goes for pun jokes. Dark humor is for people with dark hearts and minds while pun jokes are for people who like wordplay and want to feel special when they understand a joke that others don’t.

Puns are also called paronomasia, if you want to be fancy. While puns have been around since the time of ancient Sumerian and Egyptian civilizations, they’ve reached their zenith thanks to the Internet. It’s as if the nerds that populate the web like being clever and looking at mundane things from quirky perspectives. Who would’ve thunk it?

These pun-derful jokes have enough wit in them to make your brain feel good about itself.

  • Justice is a dish best served cold because if it were served warm, it would be “justwater?”
  • My girlfriend borrowed $100 from me. After three years, when we broke up, she returned exactly $100. I lost interest in that relationship.
  • I asked my wife if I was the only one she’s been with. She said, “Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights.”
  • If Hillary Clinton won she would’ve been the first “F” president. I didn’t say “female” because someone deleted the “emale.”
  • The only thing Flat-Earthers fear is sphere itself.
  • Nobody ever asks how Coca-Cola is doing. It’s always, “Is Pepsi okay?”
  • As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, “You know, one would have been enough.”
  • A man was arrested and taken to an interrogation room. He said to the police officer, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present.” The policeman said, “You are the lawyer. ” The man replied: “Exactly. So where’s my present?”
  • The word “nothing” is a palindrome. “Nothing” reversed is “Gnihton,” which also means nothing.
  • Why do you not make fun of a fat girl with a lisp? Because she is thick and tired of it.
  • I left my Adderall in my Ford Fiesta. Now I have a Ford Focus.

  • How many “friend-zoned” guys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They’ll just compliment the bulb and get pissed when it won’t screw.
  • I called in sick this morning on account of diarrhea. My boss told me to get my shit together.
  • How do you say “‘Sup, dawg?” in Japanese? “Konichihuahua.”
  • My wife hates it when our hot next-door neighbor sunbathes topless in her yard. Personally, I’m on the fence.
  • All of my friends told me that “icy” is the easiest word to spell. And after looking at it, I see why.
  • What do you call a spider with 20 eyes? Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider.
  • Make sure your Viagra says: “Made in the USA.” We don’t want Russia meddling in our erections.
  • Someone stole my activation for Microsoft Office. I don’t know who you are, but I will find you. You have my Word.
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