The “Build Your Perfect Man/Woman” Meme Will Make You Reconsider Your Priorities
Obviously, the whole point of these is to demonstrate how you are never going to get everything you’re looking for out of someone, and to gameify choosing what qualities are most important to you and which ones you’re most OK settling for.
Twitter has taken this format and brought it to a new level, parodying it by giving you a budget that really only gets you one type of man/woman:
Ladies you only have $5 to build the perfect man, wyd:
Smart $5,000
Funny $70
Athletic $150
Looks like waluigi $2
Acts like waluigi $3— Ed Sheeran (@adda_boi) January 13, 2017
ladies you have $15 to spend on the perfect man
$300 – works out
$200 – smart
$400 – smells nice
$70 – has a job
$10 – is a mouse named stuart
$5 – owns a red convertible
$500 – over 6 feet tall— eric curtin (@dubstep4dads) April 23, 2018
https://twitter.com/woodmasterfresh/status/989508592976920576
Ladies, you have $5 to build the perfect man.
$100 – funny
$300 – smart
$5 – wants you to guess which part of his body he named Pickle Rick
$200 – attractive— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) April 24, 2018
ladies you have $5 to build the perfect man
$400 loyal
$150 rich
$500 funny
$3 actually not a man at all
$2 lesbian
$250 good looking— jaden✨ (@jadentodd12) April 26, 2018
ladies you have $15 to spend on the perfect man
$99 – is kind
$200 – dresses nice
$85 – has good hair
$10 – never made it as a wise man
$4- couldn’t cut it as a poor man stealing
$1- is Chad Kroeger
$500 – over 6 feet tall— Nickelblake (@dempsters15) April 26, 2018
fellas you have $15 to spend on the perfect girl
$300 – works out
$200 – smart
$400 – smells nice
$70 – kind
$10 – is a cartoon
$5 – has huge anime tiddies
$500 – faithful— rat boy (@jnudey) April 25, 2018
you have $15 to spend on the perfect man
$300 – is well read
$200 – smells terrific
$400 – snappy dresser
$10 – fights for the love of his life
$4 – has solid relationship with his best friend
$1 – is shrek
$500 – human— Netflix (@netflix) April 26, 2018
Ladies you have $15 to build the perfect man.
Please instead put that $ in your Roth IRA.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) April 26, 2018
https://twitter.com/HeisenBarry/status/988942485979361280
https://twitter.com/GameIikeEA/status/988914789425479682
ladies you have $15 to spend on the perfect man
$300 – works out
$200 – smart
$400 – smells nice
$70 – has a good job
$10 – mayor of flavor town
$5 – frosted tips
$500 – over 6 feet tall— sad Broncos fan (@katanasIice) April 24, 2018
Ladies u have $5 to build the perfect man-
$100- validates ur feelings
$700- laughs at all of ur jokes
$600- looks like John Krasinski
$5- you keep your five dollars and instead go get a 4 for $4 at your local Wendy’s
$400- Scratches back whenever u fricken want— gabs (@GabrielleMcKeon) April 26, 2018
ladies you have $15 to spend on the perfect man
$300 – works out
$200 – smart
$400 – smells nice
$70 – has a job
$10 – owns a pawn shop
$5 – never knows what’s gonna come through that door
$500 – over 6 feet tall— Natalie (@jbfan911) April 24, 2018
https://twitter.com/2hourbrows/status/988845294358970368
you have $15 to spend on the perfect poet
$300 – poignantly captures the grief and joy of survival
$200 – uses narrative as an agent of re-imagination
$400 – compassionate, elegiac lyric gently pushing you forward
$10 – is your roommate
$5 – ate your plums
$500 – over 6 ft tall— jonny sun wrote a new book! (@jonnysun) April 26, 2018
https://twitter.com/hypedresonance/status/988869410550157314
ladies you have $5 to build the perfect man
$100 – handsome
$200 – smart
$600 – tall
$3 – can swallow an apple without chewing
$2 – name rhymes with shar shar shminks
$500 – loving— soup (@squirl_haggard) April 24, 2018
ladies you have $5 to build the perfect man:
$300 – average looks
$200 – likes guy fieri
$600 – can do razor scooter tricks
$1- soundcloud rapper
$1- pops xans for breakfast
$2 – plays fortnite but has no victory royales
$500 – doesn’t sell meth or any other hard drugs— no lives matter until black lives matter (@taysquires) April 24, 2018