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The Most Obnoxious Instagram Feed EVER – If Dan Bilzerian Was A Couple, This Would Be His Account

There’s plenty of obnoxious Instagram accounts out there; Instagram accounts run by people who enjoy putting up pictures of their lavish lifestyles so you can either be impressed or instantly hate them (it’s usually the latter).

Take the Yotta couple, Bastian and Maria, for example.  Bastian (Jesus, and I had thought that “Addison” was the douchiest name someone could give their child) and Maria Yotta, who are Hollywood “life-coaches” (Ugghh it some how got douchier!). He’s a “self-help guru” and former CEO who somehow has acquired all this cash, and she just stands around looking hot and agreeing with everything Bastian says. They recently made headlines when neighbors complained that they were trying really hard to make their mansion the next “Playboy Mansion.” The only thing Bastian has over Hugh, though, is that Bastian might outlive Hugh. Might.

Let’s take a peek into their lives by looking at some of their most ridiculous in-your-face Instagram pics:

The happy couple are socialites who love to host swanky parties at their Hollywood Hills home with a group of seductive girls named… you guessed it… the Yotta Girls!

Not sure if I’m supposed to be envious and angry or just go into the bathroom and fap. Why not do both?

With pearls of wisdom such as this, it’s easy to see why Bastian is a life coach.

I’m not sure what Maria Yotta does for a living, it’s possible she’s a professional coaster replacement.

Here’s some insightful financial advice from Maria.

I literally got queasy reading this caption.
OK, we’re totally fine with Maria. More of Maria and her goods, and less of Bastian pumping his fist like he’s in the final scene of an inspirational ’80s movie.

However, not everyone has greeted the Yottas with welcome arms. Neighbors have complained about loud Playboy Mansion-esque inspired parties (Minus all the celebrities and Playboy models). One particular hedonistic bash had over 350 guests and a lion. This is a neighborhood where it costs between $25,000 and $40,000 a month to rent one of these homes.

Then there’s the garage door.


Yes. This gaudy self-portrait is plastered on the couple’s garage door. If there’s one thing in the world that deserved to be suicide-bombed, it would be this garage door.

You should have such a hate-filled boner right now.


The Most Obnoxious Instagram Feed EVER – If Dan Bilzerian Was A Couple, This Would Be His Account



2 replies on “The Most Obnoxious Instagram Feed EVER – If Dan Bilzerian Was A Couple, This Would Be His Account”

How sad. What pitiable and insecure little people they are.

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