If you are single and struggling in the Snapchat sext department, then we got the perfect guide for you. These tips will stop you from sending crappy dick pics and hopefully get you some pics other than duck faces and food.
Snapchat has become one of the most popular social media platforms in the world, but that doesn’t mean countless people aren’t still using it to send sexy pictures that have an expiration date on them. If you’re not familiar with Snapchat, the sender sets a timer for how long the recipient can see the photo. Here’s a helpful guide to sending sexy content on Snapchat and keep you from looking like a creep..
Give Them Enough Time to See The Picture
Snapchat puts a very interesting power in your hands. You get to choose the amount of time the recipient gets to look at your picture. This is tricky. If you put the timer less than 3 seconds they’re not really going to be able to process what they’ve just seen. Unless you’re a ghoul trying to cover up how gross you look, you should never send a sexy snap less than 3 seconds long.
When I send my snaps I always do 5 seconds unless I am doing something I want them to screenshot like flipping the bird to a bird… My snaps suck.
But Don’t Give Them TOO Much Time
Now on the other hand you never want to give them way too much time to stare at your picture and show all their friends and hang it over the mantle like a family portrait. The timer technically goes up to 10 seconds, but nothing good happens when you send a single photo for them to stare at for 10 seconds.
Plus if you’re sexting with someone that needs a full 10 seconds to process a single photograph, you probably shouldn’t be talking to them anyway.
NEVER Take a Screenshot
You might think taking a screenshot is a great way to keep that 5-second photo from expiring and no one will know, right? Nope! The sender receives a big, ugly notification letting them know that you took a screenshot and now you’re never going to get another picture from the person again for the rest of your life. Even if they send you a completely innocent picture of a puppy sitting in a vase, don’t take the screenshot. You never want your name and face to be synonymous with sneaky screenshots. You’ll become the Bill Belichick of Snapchat.
Unless you are my buddy Andy. That dude is the king of screenshots and he somehow gets away with it every single time. After he takes the screenshots he sends them to our Fantasy football WhatsApp Chat.
Don’t Open Your Snap Too Quickly
Unless you’re in the middle of a hardcore Snapchat sexting session, you never want to open a snap as soon as you get it. You’ll look like a goblin sitting in a clock tower desperately refreshing your app praying that someone will send you a photo. Give it a few minutes and play it cool.
But Don’t Wait TOO Long
You want to look like your entire life isn’t depending on their next photo, but you don’t want to leave it unopened for days. It’s one thing if it’s in the middle of your workday, but if you don’t open theirs and you’re posting pics to your Snapchat story, you’re probably not going to get any more pictures.
Start Out Slow
This is where there is a definite advantage of being a woman over a man. A girl can post a picture of her shoulder with her mouth and chin visible and it’s the hottest thing ever. There are 10,000 different angles, body parts, and looks girls can send and it comes out sexy. For guys, you basically have one and you can’t just unload that NC-17 Game of Thrones pic right away.
Don’t Rapid Fire Your Snaps
You’re not Netflix so there’s no need to release all 15 of your sexy pictures at once for your recipient to binge watch. Obviously I’m not saying wait a week to send each one and end it with a disappointing, ambiguous ending, but at least give them a chance to open one before you send the next. Otherwise it looks like a creepy penis flipbook and no one wants to see that. No one.
Don’t Be Afraid to Switch to Video
Pictures are great, but if you want to change the game forever, switch to video and show them what’s up. You don’t have to worry about capturing the perfect shot.
Make sure you have the proper soundtrack and you keep your groans to a minimum so you sound hot and not congested.
NEVER Ask For Nudes
Ok this may be the most important tip of all. You never want to be known as the person that trolls around Snapchat desperately asking for nudes. If you don’t have someone that wants to send them to you, then you should try this amazing thing called pornography. Believe it or not, it’s all over the internet and it’s free! Plus porn sites won’t screenshot your creepy message.
You wouldn’t walk up to someone in public and ask for them to take their shirt off, so don’t do it on Snapchat.
I like when guys ask for nudes and get shut down, I’ll post it on the site. People here love a guy looking like a dumbass.
Bonus tip. DON’T FORGET ANYTHING YOU SEND COULD BE PUBLIC. And once its public like I said above, if it’s funny it will be posted on CHAOSTROPHIC.com for everyone to see. Including your mom.
Snapchat photo source: Imgur (If I posted a picture of your girlfriend and you would like it removed please send me a message. No joke this happened to me on Monday. Also dump your girlfriend….)
The Official Guide To Creating a Sexy Snapchat (9 Lessons)