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All the Things You Secretly Want To Know About BDSM

There are a great many mysteries to life, and most of them have to do with the secrets behind the closed door of BDSM. Bondage and domination, sadism and masochism, BDSM is underground space between everyone’s bed, as twisted as it is dark. Now you can learn all the things you secretly want to know about BDSM. Get ready for 50 Shades of Mandatory. Just don’t forget your safe word if it gets too weird in here (Hint: “Bosco”).

 

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It is essentially the church’s fault.

Torture devices were developed by the church to scare folks straight back towards the 12th century. Some were used during legal proceedings, while others were used as punishment in Europe for crimes such as treason, adultery and heresy, torture was commonplace amongst authorities). The Roman Catholic church used it for the extraction of classified information. Although the devices have been greatly modified over centuries for both sanitation, safety and more directed towards gratification, the origin is built in by the church.

Who knew some people would get such a kick out of it? Of all the folks to invent something torturous that would later be used for intense physical gratification, go figure it would be organized religion. After all, “punish” was one of the most popular words in the Bible.

BDSM itself is nothing new.

Although torture dates well back to the 12th century, the 1940s was the popularization period of BDSM with the introduction of pin-up girls and exotic magazines coming into play. The gay subculture started to come up right after World War II in the mid-’40s, which matched up with the underground theme of dominance and submission culture. Mind you, Playboy wasn’t around until the 1950s, so there was no staple for sexual gratification in American culture.

BDSM may imply sex to most people, but it’s not necessarily the case.

Although BDSM fits right in with sex, given many of its methods involve nudity, sex toys and the fondling of private parts, sexual pleasure is necessarily the goal of any partner. It’s more physical and psychological than it is sexual, according to sex studies. The “dom” is considered a top, and the “sub” considered a bottom, but that doesn’t imply sexual gratification as much as it does torture and pain gratification. Sometimes the sexual part comes much later.

 

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Sometimes the sex doesn’t come until much later.

See, what did we tell you? Often times, participants of BDSM will have their session recorded. While they experience torture, agony and sometimes quite a bit of pain, the sexual part doesn’t occur until they leave. Going home and pleasuring themselves to their video masterpiece is common amongst BDSM subscribers, making the gratification last longer.

Manners will get you somewhere.

The words “please” and “thank you” take on a whole new meaning in the BDSM ring. Whereas in polite society, they might be a sign of good manners, a symbol of satisfaction or a limit reached, these words tend to signal a desire for more inside the walls of master/slave conduct. You might want to remember that before trying it out, as well as the fact that sometimes your safe word doesn’t work.

 

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Real Life Imitating Art

Sex studies show that a submissive person in their real life is likely to take on the position of the submissive person in BDSM. Whereas you might expect them to switch roles, studies show people stick to what they know. On the other hand, a large portion of people involved with this subculture often have played both roles of the dominant and the submissive.

There’s a pretty wide spectrum of what is done in BDSM.

There is no measurement for what qualifies as BDSM, but some people are into some seriously kinky stuff. BDSM can be pretty light, a fun way to spice things up with your significant other. Whether handcuffs, ropes, whips and ball gags are your thing, or if you want to push it up a couple notches. If you’re new to it and practicing with a loved one, we recommend keeping it light at first. Nobody wants to have to explain these kinds of mishaps to any medical professional.

 

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Some of the equipment is beyond intense.

There are any number of ways to go about torturing, which any BDSM site will clearly be as educational as it is horrifying for first timers. Bondage, suspension rigs, whipping, slavery, extreme insertions, CBT (you can look that one up yourself) and sex machines are all ways to skin the cat (sex puns). Some are clearly more brutal than others, but it depends mostly on what you’re looking to get out of it, and how high your pain threshold is.

With limited experience, the mechanical sex machines seem like something to work up to. More fascinating than anything is the level of precision and the likely costly equipment it takes to build such a torture device.

It’s not a mental illness. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

Anyone who’s seeing BDSM for the first time is likely to think, “That is some sick shit.” It may lead you to believe anyone involved would have to be sick in the mind, but again, that assumption is not necessarily the case. Studies have shown that many participants of BDSM are more positively and psychologically sound than not. Perhaps it takes a person with a bit of a wild imagination and a thirst for adventure. We’re not arguing it’s not at least a little screwed up.

 

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People who partake often show signs of it in how they dress.

Knowing what type of person is into this type of gratification isn’t easy to pin down, no matter how you try. No matter how close to God you may think a guy or gal is, we’re never too far from being the devil in the sack. However, the occasional wearing of heavy studded jewelry, locks and keys or dog collars seem to be symbolic of this subculture, so if you’re looking for hints, maybe start there. I can only imagine what your opening line might be.

 

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