35. Cher vs. Madonna
— Cher (@cher) August 21, 2012
What happened: Cher says she celebrated Madonna’s birthday by getting a colonic.
How shady was this actually? Cher can say whatever the fuck she wants. Her Twitter is like the New Testament. This is obviously a (very good) joke.
34. Avril Lavigne vs. Hilary Duff
What happened: Avril Lavigne says she very seriously wants Hilary Duff to get slimed at the Kids’ Choice Awards.
How shady was this actually? Not very shady, because Avril goes in. It is a direct insult.
33. Christina Aguilera vs. Britney Spears
What happened: In an interview with Access Hollywood, Christina says she doesn’t know Britney anymore. Around that same time, Christina says in an Us Weeklyinterview: “I can’t believe that girl bought her own engagement ring! I’ve seen it, up close. It looks like she got it on QVC.”
How shady was this actually? The Access Hollywood thing isn’t that bad, but the QVC thing is uncalled for. WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?!
32. Madonna vs. Whitney Houston
What happened: Madonna wants to be No. 1 but complains that Boyz II Men andThe Bodyguard soundtrack are blocking it. “Is that still in the charts?”
How shady was this actually? It’s playful. Madonna is being cocky… It’s very on brand for her.
31. Pink vs. Christina Aguilera
What happened: Pink growls during a performance. She laughs and says she sounds like Christina Aguilera.
How shady was this actually? It’s shady when put into context. Historically, Pink has been pissed at Christina for stealing her songwriter, Linda Perry. Pink was also pissed that Christina wanted to sing her part in “Lady Marmalade.” The more you know.
30. Christina Aguilera’s Gum vs. Her Fans
What happened: Christina Aguilera throws her gum on her fans.
How shady was this actually? The shadiest part is when the person filming the video says “nice.” It’s iconic. Christina probably isn’t throwing her gum intentionally on her fans. Probably.
29. Britney Spears vs. Avril Lavigne
What happened: Britney responded to Avril Lavigne’s constant shit-talking about her “dressing like a ho” and “dancing like a whore” in W Magazine by saying: “It’s weird. My third album sold as much as her first one, which is very funny to me because everyone thought it didn’t do that great.”
How shady was this actually? It’s really smart. Using sales to be shady is always an effective technique to beat your competitor.
28. Britney Spears vs. Christina Aguilera
What happened: Christina Aguilera tells an interviewer that she saw Britney in a club and gave her advice about her breakup with Justin Timberlake. Britney laughs, shrugs it off, and says Christina tried to make out with her.
How shady was this actually? It’s more compelling than shady. There is something to the story we’re missing. Why did Christina stick her tongue down Britney’s throat?
27. Christina Aguilera vs. Britney Spears
What happened: In an interview with Us Weekly Christina says, “I know Britney. She’s not trailer trash, but she sure acts that way.”
How shady was this actually? It’s just plain rude!
26. Christina Aguilera vs. an Interviewer With a Cold
What happened: Some dude coughs during an interview with Christina Aguilera and she says, “Coughing during my interview, really? Ha ha ha ha. Shoot him.”
How shady was this actually? When Christina says “coughing during my interview” it’s kind of cute. The “shoot him” is a direct threat. Justice for Bionic etc.
25. Whitney Houston vs. Mariah Carey vs. Madonna
What happened: When asked what she thinks about the newest diva on the block, Mariah, Whitney says: “Maybe it’s not what I think it, it’s what she thinks. It’s more important.” Then she’s asked about Madonna working with Babyface, whom Whitney also had a hit with. Whitney responds by saying, “Before Madonna, it was Face and I. Do I have to say any more?”
How shady was this actually? “It’s what she thinks” and “do I have to say any more?” are two of the most shady clauses. Props.
24. Farrah Franklin vs. Beyoncé
What happened: Beyoncé tries to tell Farrah to go straight to the airport without her luggage. Farrah gets snippy back. The tension is real. It is very, very awkward.
How shady was this actually? The shadiest part of this interaction is the way the video is edited by Fox Family. The use of “Sail Away” after Farrah basically gets kicked out of the group is quite cruel, though appropriate. Bye.
23. Demi Lovato vs. Selena Gomez
What happened: Demi is giving autographs when a fan asks her, “How’s Selena?” Demi responds, “Ask Taylor,” referring to Taylor Swift.
How shady was this actually? Oof. Got her. Demi is obviously not in #teamtaylor and is a little hurt by it. Everyone wants to be Taylor’s friend, but Demi isn’t invited to the club.
22. Avril Lavigne vs. Britney Spears
What happened: Avril Lavigne gives some interview with some magazine and disses Britney for wearing a bra like a ho. Avril can barely respond. She is a coward.
How shady was this actually? Avril says she “doesn’t mean to diss any artist” when she CLEARLY DID. Shady as fuck!
21. Kylie Minogue vs. Mariah Carey
What happened: When asked to say “love or hate” for other artists, Kylie says “love” for Madonna. She grunts, painfully laughs, and says “hate” for Mariah Carey.
How shady was this actually? It’s confusing. It’s the No. 1 rule in pop music to NEVER say you blatantly “hate” another artist. You just don’t do that. Why does Kylie Minogue hate Mariah Carey? We may never know (but basically everyone hates Mariah).
20. Aretha Franklin vs. Nicki Minaj
What happened: In a “rapid-fire” style interview, Aretha Franklin is asked what she thinks of Nicki Minaj. Aretha pauses, laughs, and says “no comment.”
How shady was this actually? Aretha can’t even comment about Nicki. Her silence on the issue is deafening.
19. Nicki Minaj vs. Iggy Azalea
What happened: Nicki Minaj wins Best Female Hip-Hop Artist at the BET Awards. During her speech, she says she writes all of her music (unlike Iggy Azalea who was nominated in that same category that night). Then she does the symbol for “sips tea.”
How shady was this actually? The “sips tea” sign language is notoriously shady. The fact that she clarifies it as “no shade” makes it even shadier. It’s brilliant.
18. Mariah Carey vs. Nicki Minaj
What happened: Nicki has a verse in a song called “Hell Yeah” where she talks about checking a bitch if she gets out of line. The bitch Nicki is referring to is clearly Mariah. When Barbara Walters asks Mariah about the lyric, Mariah says she didn’t know Nicki sang. Mariah thought she rapped…or whatever.
How shady was this actually? The “…or whatever” is a nail in the coffin. RIP.
17. Lady Gaga vs. Katy Perry
What happened: In this tweet, Gaga is clearly talking about Katy Perry’s green hair and use of mechanical horses on Katy’s Prismatic tour. On her own tour, Gaga had green hair and mechanical horses.
How shady was this actually? Pretty shady. Everyone knows Gaga invented green hair and mechanical horses. Right.
16. Mariah Carey vs. Nicki Minaj
What happened: Mariah uses statistics to put Nicki in her place. Mariah has many Billboard No. 1s. Nicki has no Billboard No. 1s. The receipts don’t lie.
How shady was this actually? It’s mathematical. Mariah got her.
15. Miley Cyrus vs. Katy Perry
Girl if ur worried abt where tongues have been good thing ur ex boo is ur EX BOO cause we ALL know where THAT 👅 been pic.twitter.com/IO6KwRzw2y
— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) March 6, 2014
What happened: Katy Perry gives an interview on Australian TV where she infers that it would be gross to kiss Miley because of her tongue. Miley responds on Twitter by calling out Katy’s ex, John Mayer, who is a notorious man whore.
How shady was this actually? Miley Cyrus is straight-up calling out Katy Perry’s shitty comment about her tongue. The shady part occurs when Miley calls out Katy’s ex, John Mayer. That’s shady.
14. Mariah Carey vs. Jennifer Lopez
What happened: Mariah is asked if she would ever do a duet with Jennifer Lopez and responds by saying she “doesn’t know how that would sound.”
How shady was this actually? Very shady. Mariah Carey has a history of saying shady things to Jennifer Lopez. Mariah Carey hates everyone.
13. Mariah Carey vs. Christina Aguilera
What happened: Christina talks about a party where Mariah said “really derogatory” things to her. She mentions it was at the time she had “that breakdown.” Mariah fired back by saying Christina showed up at the party and acted inappropriately. She also said it was “sad and predictable” that Christina would use her name to get promotion.
How shady was this actually? It’s everything. Bringing up Mariah’s breakdown is incredibly shady. Mariah’s use of “sad and predictable” is iconic. The word “sad” is very powerful.
12. Whitney Houston vs. Mariah Carey
What happened: When asked what she thinks of Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston says, “I don’t think of her.”
How shady was this actually? Saying you “don’t think about someone” is almost as bad as saying “I don’t know her.” Almost.
11. Katy Perry vs. Taylor Swift
What happened: After Taylor Swift cryptically talks about a female singer (obviously Katy Perry) who had done her wrong in a Rolling Stone interview, Katy Perry strikes back with this equally cryptic tweet (obviously about Taylor Swift).
How shady was this actually? The white girl battle we’ve been waiting for. I’m dying to know who is actually in the wrong here. Someone isn’t telling the truth!
10. Janet Jackson vs. Madonna
What happened: When Janet was asked if she sees herself going “head to head” to Madonna, Janet says they both do dance music but what Janet does “has class to it.”
How shady was this actually? It burns a bit. Janet and Madonna are easy to compare because they make similar music and have similar aesthetics (minus Janet’s incredible dancing). It makes sense that she would be tired of answering questions about Madonna.
9. Rihanna vs. Ciara
What happened: In an interview, Ciara said that Rihanna “wasn’t the nicest.” Rihanna responds to Ciara’s comment brutally on Twitter.
How shady was this actually? Incredibly. Rihanna is infinitely more successful than Ciara. The truth hurts.
8. Farrah Franklin vs. Beyoncé
What happened: Former member of Destiny’s Child Farrah Franklin says in an interview that she can sing and dance. That’s when Beyoncé gives her a wicked side-eye.
How shady was this actually? No one gave side-eye like Beyoncé gave side-eye while in Destiny’s Child. No one.
7. Mariah Carey vs. Madonna
What happened: Mariah Carey says she hates when people pretend to have British accents.
How shady was this actually? Very. Mariah never mentions Madonna by name but WE KNOW the pretend English accent jab is about Madonna. Remember when that was a thing?
6. Mariah Carey vs. Christina Aguilera
What happened: Mariah Carey pretty much hates Christina Aguilera.
How shady was this actually? Incredibly. That hair flip took sufficient effort.
5. Cher vs. Madonna
What happened: The interviewer asks Cher if she goes jogging like Madonna (lol). Cher says “my friend Madonna” and laughs. Then Cher says that Madonna is “unbelievably creative” but “not unbelievably talented” or “beautiful.” Cher says Madonna’s “rude.”
How shady was this actually? Sick burn, Cher. The fact that she gives her a compliment and then takes two steps back with some rough insults is amazing. Touché.
4. Madonna vs. Lady Gaga
What happened: Lady Gaga was accused of ripping off Madonna’s “Express Yourself” with her song “Born This Way.” Madonna responds by calling it all a bit “reductive” and sipping her tea.
How shady was this actually? The literal tea sipping is next level. The word “reductive” is also incredible. “Look it up.”
3. Kelly Rowland vs. Beyoncé
What happened: Kelly Rowland says she is the second lead vocalist of Destiny’s Child. Beyoncé coughs and gives her her signature side-eye.
How shady was this actually? Again, no one gave side-eye like Beyoncé gave side-eye while in Destiny’s Child. No one.
2. Mariah Carey vs. Madonna
What happened: Mariah Carey says she hasn’t paid attention to Madonna since middle school.
How shady was this actually? Painful. Mariah Carey is the master of the passive-aggressive brush-off. By not saying anything, she is saying so much. A+.
1. Mariah Carey vs. Jennifer Lopez
What happened: The interviewer asks Mariah what she thinks of Jennifer Lopez. She doesn’t know her.
How shady was this actually? The shadiest of all. Mariah Carey definitely knows who Jennifer Lopez and uses the shadiest term of anti-endearment to describe her: “I don’t know her.” It doesn’t get worse than that.